Last night was the weirdest, most insanely random episode of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills ever! This is RHOBH without a common enemy to direct all their wrath and delusions onto. I dunno — I loved it!
Dorit Kemsley shows up in a redneck tuxedo to Denise Richards‘ house to drink double vodka tonics at 2 in the afternoon and talk motherhood. (Denise had water since she had to pick her daughter up from school) Ha! Motherhood was about 2% of their conversation the rest was all Lisa Vanderpump. Denise liked Dorit immediately when she met her, and found her very warm and kind. That’s Dorit’s ruse — everyone feels that way about her. Initially.
Denise counsels Hollywood neophyte Dorit about handling close friends betraying you to the tabloids. When Denise was going through her divorce she actually used to run sting operations on confidantes by sharing something with them to see if it would wind up in the press, and that was how she knew who was a true friend. Despite LVP ruining her reputation, eviscerating her belief in friends, and making her question all of humanity, Dorit still wants their friendship back. Denise believes that – with time – Dorit can eventually forgive her.
This season, two other former Housewives are coming back for at least one appearance. And they happen to be two of the most talked about-and polarizing-cast members of any of the Housewife shows-former child star Kim Richards and volatile, often-acts-like-a-child Brandi Glanville. And current cast member Erika Jayne recently shared her thoughts about the return of Kim and Brandi.
Pssst! Hey, did you know there is other stuff going on in the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills world that isn’t drilled into our minds filmed? Well, there is. And thankfully the words “puppy” and “gate” are not even uttered. Oops.
Season 9 of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has centered on Lucy Lucy Apple Juice. Dorit Kemsley and PK Kemsleyadopted the pup from Lisa Vanderpump’s dog rescue. After the dog nipped at the kids and PK, Dorit re-homed the pup. Poor Lucy ended up in a kill shelter. Dorit had previously returned a dog to Vanderpump Dogs, so she knew the drill. She also neglected to read the pesky contract that specified that a $5,000 fee was due if a dog was not returned to Lisa’s organization. Spoiler alert: The Kemsleys didn’t pay the fine, and probably lumped it in with their other debts. I hope that Lucy is chilling somewhere and just living her best life. She deserves it after this debacle.
The long-time friendship between LVP and former bestie Kyle Richards exploded when someone leaked the story about Lucy ending up at a shelter to a tabloid. All the Beverly Hills ladies, including Erika Jayne, believe that Lisa was responsible and trying to punish Dorit. And when Kyle took on the mission to confront LVP, she was tossed out of Villa Rosa by Lisa and her husband, Ken Todd. That scene was so uncomfortable to watch!
Every week I tune in to Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills and every week I say, “Please let there be no more Lucy stuff… Please let the dog crap be pooper scooped and done with… NoMoreDogs, NoMoreDogs, NoMoreDogs!” Aaaaannnd every week my hopes are dashed!
The women are shocked by Lisa’s reactions. Really? “That’s not friendship,” scoffs Erika Girardi, “that’s bullshit.” Does Erika have friends she doesn’t pay to stuff her into latex and other “pat the puss” endeavors? How would she even know the difference between friendship and bullshit? And to that I say, it is bullshit that Kyle barged over to her s0-called friend’s house, a day before her birthday, to accuse her of lying. BULLSHIT.
It all ends badly, but we start out lovely by watching Denise Richards and Aaron Phypers open their wedding presents. I wished we could’ve seen them unwrap the tequila from Dorit Kemsley, but alas Dorit probably ‘conveniently forgot’ the wedding gift, just like she conveniently forgets to tell her so-called close friend that she gave her dog away to a woman she kinda knows, or doesn’t know, or is an associate of PK’s or is you know, a shelter named A Very Lovely Random Woman.
Denise Richards has been such a breath of fresh air for The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She comes across real, genuine, and having no desire to put on a facade. Plus, it’s nice to see that she’s as confused about the dog drama as we are! However, just because Denise is genuine and authentic doesn’t mean her fellow Housewives are.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills struggle with authenticity. First you have Camille Grammer who very clearly changed personalities between seasons 1 and 2. Brandi Glanville says that Kyle Richards acts one way with Lisa Vanderpump in her life, and another way when they are apart. Most of the cast says LVP is secretly manipulative. Finally, Lisa Rinna openly said she was turning into the “nicest f***ing Lisa Rinna”