Sniff, sniff. Waving our hankies at Ladies Of London as it recedes on a slow tide of broken friendships, dusty castles, and tear-stained titles is all we can do now. Season three left us with more questions than answers. Like, is Caroline Stanbury okay with Sophie Stanbury and Adela King these days? (Answer: yes, according to recent Instagram posts.) Will Julie Montagu be able to stop vibrating long enough to save Mapperton, one Made In China tchotchke at a time? Can Juliet Angus possibly survive in London, sans Caroline S handing her marching orders?
And more to the point, will Marissa Hermer’s balls-to-the-wall press junket this week work in securing her a future spot on The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills? Or at least a meeting with Lisa Vanderpump about hubby Matt Hermer’s alleged plans to open a club in West Hollywood? (Because if that sh*t ain’t transparent, I don’t know what is.) Alas, one final, painful question remains: Will Bravo cancel Ladies Of London now that two of its cast members are, well, not in London anymore? Although Marissa and Caroline S likely plan on spending summers back in the UK, that might not be reason enough to keep filming. Maybe a cast shakeup will come our way. But I refuse to accept a dire outcome yet. So, chin up, good people! For now, we must keep calm and snark on! Because this finale was a doozie.
With Cem and the children already in Dubai, Caroline S is holing up in the Westbury Hotel for her last week in London. Sophie joins her for a massage, telling Caroline that she’s relieved they’re back to being buds again. Caroline thinks that says a lot about her. Something tells me she isn’t all in with the rebirth of the Stanbury Sisters just yet.
After last week’s lighthearted fun-fest, it’s only natural that the reality TV gods demand some meaningless drama from our Ladies Of London. And this week, that drama finds its way to the Henley Royal Regatta, where Adela King just can’t take another moment of playing nice with Juliet Angus. Also, Julie Montagu continues to hold a grudge against Sophie Stanbury for quitting the role of Caroline Stanbury Hater #2. But Sophie isn’t about to jump into Julie’s stew of resentment anymore. I guess Julie will just have to bathe in her own royal-ish mess. (Perhaps she’ll dry off with a Mapperton tea towel?)
There’s also a steady theme of mothers and daughters woven throughout last night’s episode that, I’m not ashamed to say, really touched me. It was subtle and unexpected and, after it all came together in the final scene, seemed to elevate this show to a new level in my view. Bravo to Bravo for airing a show that while petty at times, never lets petty actually take the wheel. But it’s still a bumpy ride, folks…so, let’s get to it!
On last night’s Ladies Of London, there were actually laughs to be had! Real belly laughs! So what if these laughs involved dry humping balloons in cocktail attire? It takes what it takes, people. And I, for one, am ready for my Ladies to return to the sillier, lighter tones of seasons past, where petty dramas just blew away like the wispy smoke of a contraband cig on the front lawn of Mapperton.
But first, in Edinburgh, we return to the breakfast at which Sophie Stanbury tells everyone she loves them – except Juliet Angus, who’s about to unleash the bad juju with statements like “You don’t know negativity! I’m going to SHOW you the NEGATIVITY!” After Sophie quickly attempts a wimpy backtrack, Juliet storms out of breakfast. Upstairs, Caroline Fleming is making her bed to within an inch of its castle-dwelling life. Sophie seems to effectively calm Juliet down in the car later with a kiss and an apology. So, all is not lost!
It’s time for the Ladies Of London to head to Scotland this week, as Caroline Stanbury hosts a trip – with NO house rules and (gasp!) a RENTED castle – for her friends and enemies before moving to Dubai. Julie Montagu, of course, feels preyed upon by Caroline’s digs about rules and such, but finds that her former ally, Sophie Stanbury, is not interested in gossiping with her anymore about Caroline. What’s a future Lady Of The Manor to do?! Cry in her kitchen. That’s what.
Testing her loyalty right off the bat, Julie has Sophie over for wine – and whining. She’s pissed about Caroline telling her she’s going to show her “how to have a good time” in Scotland, versus the crap time she had at Mapperton. Julie snarked back that she’ll try to not walk out of Caroline’s dinner. Touche! But then she sobs about Caroline picking on her again, and Sophie draws the line. She’s extracting herself from this mess, pronto, advising Julie to fix her sh*t with Caroline all by herself.
It’s no secret that Caroline Stanbury isn’t a fan of Julie Montagu and her persistent Lady of The Manor chase this season on Ladies Of London. But Julie doesn’t chalk Caroline’s feelings up to jealousy over her title – she just thinks they’re opposites with “big personalities.” If by “big,” she means that Caroline is an F5 tornado and she’s a slight mist on the horizon after a summer sprinkling of rain…then, okay! I’ll bite.
Julie also thinks Caroline’s issue with her lies at the very heart of Mapperton – an estate that Julie and her husband Luke are poised to be saddled with for life take on. Caroline, having grown up on stuffy estates like Mapperton, has repeatedly bemoaned that she wants nothing to do with that sort of lifestyle or its aristocratic chains anymore. “Caroline and I, I think we’re both big personalities, and I believe we’re totally opposite in every way. She’s basically rebelling against what I’m just about to take on,” says Julie.
It’s a royal circus this week as the Ladies Of London celebrate the queen’s birthday – by getting tipsy and arguing in the street! Just as her highness would wish. Long live the drama! When Juliet Angus takes Caroline Fleming and Caroline Stanbury on a pub crawl through the East End, they decide to call each other out on important issues like who eats fruit and why. Across town, Sophie Stanbury gets her groove back on a tipsy outing with Marissa Hermer, who feigns shock at this “new Sophie” on the prowl. Marissa also takes issue with some of the ladies giving her the side eye over leaving baby Sadie at home just weeks after a difficult delivery.
But before that mess begins, Marissa and Sadie visit Caroline F for a stroll and a coffee. Marissa, who reminds us she’s still not allowed to have sex postpartum, is ready to party (within reason). She and Caroline discuss Caroline’s sister, who Marissa is very close with – and who’s also moved back to Denmark. They move to the topic of Caroline S, who’s “not herself” lately, according to word on the street. The street that Marissa lives on, at least.
Last night, Marissa Hermer rejoined the Ladies Of London ranks, and not-so-subtly aligned herself with this season’s official Caroline Stanbury haters. Julie Montagu seems especially relieved that her co-conspirator is back in the saddle, ready to ride or die for the cause – as long as that cause is talking trash about Caroline.
When Marissa meets Julie, Sophie Stanbury, and Adela King for lunch, the anti-Caroline camp closes ranks quickly, musing about how unhinged their nemesis has become lately. Sophie plays dumb about why Caroline is being so meeeeean! And Marissa smirks that she thinks Caroline just has her panties in a wad about Sophie becoming friends with Julie. She also snarks that Caroline’s move to Dubai will be challenging, given her inability to make or keep friends easily. Ouch.