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Raquel Leviss

Raquel Leviss

Vanderpump Rules “friend” Raquel Leviss had a run in with the ever-volatile Lala Kent on this weeks episode.

The two decided to hold a screaming match right in front of SUR which is always a good look for a restaurant. But maybe it’s to be expected in SUR. Half the staff has not outgrown the temper-tantrum phase. Only instead of throwing themselves on the ground, kicking and screaming, they waive their cigarettes around and drunkenly cuss out the mangers.  I see you Kristen Doute.

Vanderpump-Rules-Lala-Kent

This season on Vanderpump Rules, Lala Kent took the girls to Solvang for wine tours (on a private jet, of course). The only surprising part of the trip is that Lala is the one who planned the trip, yet she was sober the entire time. Why plan a wine tasting if you are not going to sip the wine? Maybe do a different activity instead?

At the time, she claimed that she and Randall Emmett made a pact to stay sober after she got wasted and broke a hurricane-proof window. Recently, she confessed that the severity of the situation goes far beyond one drunken night.

Scheana Marie

Nowadays, the majority of the Vanderpump Rules cast are in committed relationships. And I use the word committed loosely, as they do whatever they want anyways. Like Lala Kent and Ariana Madix hooking up. Or James Kennedy being accused of cheating on Raquel Leviss. And Jax Taylor…well he han’t done anything yet this season, but give it some time. 

However, one cast member is single, and that is Scheana Marie. Her dating life on the show has been pretty quiet so far. All we’ve seen is her sexually harassing hanging out with Adam Spott. I wonder if Adam can hang a TV in seven minutes? Recently, Scheana’s love life has been in a status of, “It’s complicated.”

Lala Kent & Billie Lee

So much happened on last night’s Vanderpump Rules but the only things we really need to talk about are Brittany Cartwright being told by her doctor that she can’t drink on the cast trip to Mexico(!) and Lala Kent turning into James Kennedy by unleashing an unholy fury of meanness on James and Raquel Leviss (again), which finally had James seeing the light about the changes he needs to make in his own life.

I personally think all Brittany’s sudden health problems are a psychosomatic response to realizing she’s engaged to Jax Taylor!

Other things happened, though. Like I cannot look at Beau Clark without seeing a grubby, truck stop dirtbag. His pasty, grimy pits and flabby arms hanging out of that dirty tank top as he swung around a handle of tequila Stassi Schroeder was bedazzling for Scheana Marie as a peace offering was… well all the karma Stassi has ever deserved. Beau seems sweet and very nice, but he joins the unhygienic mass of menfolk on this show who look like walking staph infections and probably need their own file at the CDC.

Lala Kent - Vanderpump Rules

On tonight’s Vanderpump Rules things get super wild at SUR when Lala Kent takes out her grief and aggression on Raquel Leviss after Lala accuses Raquel of talking about her deceased father.

This comes after James Kennedy was cruelly uninvited from the cast trip to Mexico, which was supposed to be about Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz celebrating the opening of TomTom. Then while James is at SUR DJing Billie Lee‘s boozy brunch, he and Raquel have a run-in with Lala that goes all kinds of wrong. This has Tom 1 questioning why Lisa Vanderpump isn’t pulling out her pink slips to fire the future Mrs. Randall Emmett. 

Tom Sandoval & Tom Schwartz - Vanderpump Rules

This was a crazy episode of Vanderpump Rules with no winners or losers. OK, well, obviously Katie Maloney is a loser. The biggest loser, but still she’s allowed to dictate everyone else with her negativity and bullying. Even though it doesn’t appear that anyone likes her – even her own husband. I don’t know why, but Katie brings out the rage in me!

James Kennedy is a man of two strides forward (like a mini pony, not horse); two strides back into the time-out pen because he can’t play with the other horses without nipping their flanks and kicking up manure.

TomTom is about to open and Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz decide to celebrate by taking a pre-professional people vacation. And what a long strange trip it will turn out to be! As Lisa Vanderpump said, “Sometimes trial has error.”

Katie Maloney - Vanderpump Rules

Tonight is the episode of Vanderpump Rules I have personally been waiting for ever since Stassi Schroeder started dating Patrick and Katie Maloney found Stassi’s rusty bitch crown in the dumpster behind SUR and tried to make fetch happen.

Katie is a poor imitation of Stassi in her prime, namely because Katie is mercilessly mean without provocation or wit, but tonight – TONIGHT! – our brave little warrior Tom Sandoval goes against the evil that is facing him and tells Katie exactly like it is!

Vanderpump-Rules-Tom-Sandoval

Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz have a relationship as solid as Lisa Vanderpump and Ken Todd. As soon as the Tom’s met, they became instant BFFs. They have been inseparable ever since. I’m pretty sure they’re the only duo on Vanderpump Rules, besides Lisa and Ken, to stay together for all seven seasons.

Well, this power couple is about to get tested. Tom 2’s roommate wife, Katie Maloney, recently got James Kennedy fired from SUR because he fat-shamed her. This did not sit well with some of the cast, namely Billie Lee. She has been very vocal about the matter. In next week’s episode, Tom 1 steps up to defend James and calls Katie a bully for her actions. Tom 2 is not going to be happy!