We start off this episode with an awkward dinner or lunch or something between Caroline, Teresa and Jacqueline. The ladies discuss Dina’s exit from the show and of course Danielle’s name is brought up in the conversation. The only part that stands out in this scene is when Caroline says, “I feel so bad for Dina. She’s going through so much.” Come again Caroline? Dina’s going through so much? Like what exactly? As we the viewers haven’t been privy to any of Dina’s problems, infact we have been led to believe Dina’s life was all unicorns, lollipops and rainbows with the exception of the Danielle drama.
I thought Caroline’s comment was interesting to say the least. Reason #192 by the NJ cast sucks? Well thanks to the ladies focusing on the Danielle drama so much, we don’t get to hear about or see their own personal issues and drama. The ladies decide they need to watch out for Danielle because “she’s capable of anything,” and the dinner/lunch/brunch or something scene ends.
Next up is Danielle‘s visit with a plastic surgeon. Was I the only one who noticed some lights were out on the sign for the plastic surgery office? Not sure that I would be putting my life on the line in what looks like a motel reject but Danielle is more than ready to fix her wonky tits, so she will take the chance! And thanks to the now infamous sex tape she made before this revision surgery, we can all affirm her boobs were indeed deformed.
Danielle then once again breaks out her her boo hoo story about feeling so undesirable due to her wonky tits, and I can imagine a good percentage of viewers are rolling their eyes at this point.
We then get to see Lauren Manzo doing makeup at her makeup school, and overbearing mama Caroline of course pays her daughter a visit. Don’t get me wrong, Caroline seems like a great mother, but she just appears to be way too involved in the lives of her children. It appears she has nothing else going on in her life other than her children and family. At this stage in her kids’ lives, it might be time for Caroline to began pulling back, and perhaps work on finding a hobby that doesn’t involve her children. Someone commented a while back, saying they already feel bad for Caroline’s future daughter-in-laws, and can’t say I disagree.
Ashley decides to pay her parents a visit and apologizes for her bratty behavior at the poker game. Ashley informs her parents she wants to come back home, which I think is great, because she had no business living on her own to begin with. She simply lacks the maturity needed to make it on her own at this point in her life.
Next up is Teresa and she informs us she is having a housewarming party for her new home. We finally get to meet nutty party planner Elvira Grau, who immediately scolds Teresa for not having help or a pool for that matter. Something about Teresa was off this episode. She just seemed a bit more laid back and more quiet. I’m guessing this was filmed at the peak of her financial problems. When you think about it, Danielle made her sex tape in September 2009, before her visit with the plastic surgeon in this episode. Teresa filed for bankruptcy in October 2009, meaning this episode was definitely filmed right before or right after the bankruptcy filing.
Back to the show, Teresa and Elvira have an interesting exchange.
Elvira– Why don’t you have a pool?
Teresa – (Awkward pause) Because I have a beach house. (Quick thinking there Teresa!)
Elvira – I have a beach house, I have a pool.
Elvira once again scolds Teresa for not having help, and at this point it’s pretty obvious Kim D. and Kim G. are not the only ones auditioning for Bravo. It however seems Elvira has her sights set on something bigger than just the Housewives’ franchise. The annoying, rude and overbearing party planner is aiming for her own Bravo spin off!
Here’s what Andy Cohen twitted about Elvira: “To the Lady named Elvira sending out press releases saying ur the new RHNJ: It ain’t true. Ur on 2nite’s ep for 10 mins tho. Enjoy+Sorry!” Hilarity.
Ashley has her bags packed and is ready to move back home, but first she will try to negotiate the house rules. Ashley’s main issue seems to be curfew. And I find myself asking what exactly does Ashley do? Is she in school? Why is she not in college? Matter of fact, why are Lauren Manzo and Chris Manzo also not in college? considering their parents can afford it. And no, college is not the only way to make it in life, but I just find it a bit odd that most of the NJ kids are not in school. My advice to Ashley? Go to college, live in a dorm or an off campus apartment, and you will be able to stay out as late as you wish!
We then see an emotional scene between law school hottie Albie Manzo and mom Caroline. Albie informs his mom he has been kicked out of Law school due to bad grades, and we learn Albie has a learning disability, ADD. I mentioned earlier that I think Caroline can be a bit overbearing as a mother sometimes, but I was actually impressed with the way she dealt with the Albie issue, which was basically to encourage him and tell him to keep fighting. Must say I was expecting Caroline to grab Albie’s hand and go pay the dean a visit, but I thought she handled this very well.
Broke Teresa and Jacqueline decide to do some retail therapy as they hit up Kim D’s store. They confront Kim D. on talking very badly about Danielle, only to then attend her event weeks later. Kim D. informs the ladies she will fake befriend anyone, even Osama Bin Laden, as long as they are a paying customer. So it’s safe to assume Kim D’s friendship with Teresa has since ended. Somebody should tell Kimmy some things are better not said on national television.
Danielle‘s surgery for “one of the biggest deformities ever” is over and apparently without makeup, Danielle resembles an 80-year-old witch. Danielle is back home after surgery and we get to see her kids welcome her home. And as I watch this, my heart breaks again for these children. I still can’t grasp or comprehend how this woman could hurt her kids by leaking out her own sex tape. Thankfully, the kids seem to be well adjusted despite having Danielle as their mother.
It’s finally D Day for Teresa’s over the top extravagant unnecessary house warming party and crazy Elvira is back! Teresa gets some curls added in and is ready to flaunt her bubbies in her shiny gold dress. Teresa makes it downstairs and appears to be very happy with the home design. “Even though she can be annoying, Elvira did an amazing job,” solemnly says Teresa. Teresa mingles with the guests and we get to see a quick scene with the two hotmesses Kims drinking from the same cup.
Teresa takes the mike and thanks her guests for coming to her party. She calls up Caroline and Jaqueline to the stage and a “wasted” Kim D. decides it’s her time to shine. Kim D walks up to the stage, and shares some nice words with Teresa and her guests, and it is now becoming more obvious why the two Kims seem to get along great with Danielle. Birds of the same feather…
With Kim D. getting all the attention, Kim G. decides now would be a good time to tell Caroline her sister-in-law Jacqueline is obsessed with Danielle. Jacqueline overhears the convo and is not happy! She confronts Kim G. and they seem to put the drama behind them. Caroline states the obvious when she says the two Kims are a “recipe for disaster.”
Watch What Happens – Danielle made a special appearance on the show and denied releasing the sex tape. As if that lie wasn’t enough, she also denied receiving any money from the sale of the tape. This woman, who successfully stopped the release of her first sex tape, wants us to believe she isn’t receiving any money from the sales of this tape and yet refuses to sue Hustler? Right… Danielle performed her first single “Real Close” with songwriter Lori Michaels, who for some reason refers to herself as a “Dyke Diva.” The best part of the show came at the end when Danielle, taking a page from Kim Zolciak’s publicity whoring ways, decides to play coy when asked if she and Lori have something going on. It was rather obvious to me that these two are not dating, and here’s what Jacqueline tweeted last night –
“She just asked my friend at her new condo to introduce her to all her single MALE friends so I am as confused as she is apparently. ;0)”
So there’s your answer folks. Danielle a lesbian? No. An attention whore? Yes. Must say though that Danielle does have a good singing voice, as she had no auto-tune help or pre-recorded vocals during her live performance.
TELL US – WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE RECAP AND LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE?