The latest episode of the Real Housewives of Atlanta brought us some awkward sex talks and a slightly uncomfortable scene involving the always classy Phaedra and some pickles.
With the said, let’s get right to the recap! The episode begins with Kim Zolciak being yet again late to another event. This event in particular is Kandi’s web talk show titled Kandi Coated Nights! Following yet another scene with Kim berating her assistant Sweetie, she finally finds her way to Kandi’s studio, and the topic of conversation is Cheating! Something Kim knows an awful lot about despite trying to pretend her relationship with the still married Big Poppa has no cheating element to it.
“I only know what Papa tells me,” is Kim’s argument. Perhaps Kim should invest some time in using the google search engine as a quick search on Big Poppa will clearly let her know he is still married and living with his wife and kids.
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Nene pays a visit to her plastic surgeon for the big unveiling of her new nose. As the nose is unveiled, it’s rather obvious Nene went for the Dwight rhinoplasty special. Bravo decides to subject us to seeing Nene’s blurred out boobs and newly lipoed stomach, and Nene seems happy with the results of her surgery. Cynthia shows up and Nene confides to Cynthia about her marital issues while stating that Gregg has broken her trust and has seriously crossed the line many times. Is she alluding to Gregg cheating?
Phaedra is at home getting ready for her classy pregnant photo shoot. As I try to reconcile the fact that Phaedra actually pays people to make her look like a clown do her makeup, Phaedra reveals that she wants a “very artistic, classy,” photo shoot. As the classy one steps outside, we see a giant jar of pickles waiting in tow. Sitting in a white tank top, Phaedra starts chomping down on the pickles as the photog snaps away. As if this scene wasn’t strange enough, poor Apollo is forced to join in the mess and it gets even worse as Phaedra and Apollo share a pickle. “You can suck it, you don’t have to chew it,” states the cooky photographer. And with those words, this scene is over, thankfully.
Sheree arrives for her blind date with the faux Doctor, who doesn’t own a home in Atlanta because he is broke bicoastal. The love doctor has decided to make a home cooked meal for Sheree, you know, considering he probably can’t afford to take her out, and things take a turn for the awkward when he asks Sheree to lick some cookie dough off his finger. With Sheree hesitating (can you blame her?), the love doctor forcefully inserts the tip of his cookie dough covered finger into her mouth. Tiy-e gets even pushier towards the end of the date as he wants Sheree to propose a toast to their first kiss. The two kiss and end their second date.
Kandi goes up to her 7-year-old daughter Riley‘s room, and the adorable one bursts a tune with a voice that looks to have a lot of potential. The topic of Riley’s biological father comes up, and we find out after years of not being in Riley’s life, her father now wants to have a relationship. Riley, who seems a tad mature for her age, isn’t too excited about getting close to her dad. “I want somebody like AJ to take care of me,” says Riley when Kandi brings up the topic of having more children with a future husband. A bit sad as AJ is Kandi’s former fiance who is now deceased.
Kandi meets up with her mom to discuss the issue of Riley and her dad. In this emotional scene, Kandi tears up as she reveals all she wants from Riley’s father is consistency. We find out that Kandi never had much of a relationship with her father as well, and in watching this scene, I just can’t for the life of me understand why Kandi would subject her own child to growing up without a father after what she went through. Perhaps I’m being a tad judgemental, not trying to be, but I just don’t understand why people choose to continue certain cycles of destruction. From what I’ve read about Riley’s father, he wasn’t much of a winner to begin with, though I’m sure if Kandi could go back in time and change things, she would probably make better choices.
It is mother’s day and Cynthia is preparing for her mother’s day brunch with the ladies. Kim calls right away to inform Cynthia she has to cancel because one of her daughters has a fever, similar to last season when Kim had to cancel on Kandi’s performance because her daughter was sick as well. I’m starting to think Kim is one of those people who uses their kids to get out of events and obligations.
The boughetto Phaedra arrives at Cynthia’s home and feels to need to take a shot at the model. “Cynthia lives in a regentrification zone, which is basically when they make the hood into the suburbs. It’s not for me personally,” declares the snooty one.
Peter, who is obviously still peeved about Phaedra’s comments in the limo ride, wants to know when Phaedra’s “clean” husband will be arriving. Phaedra mentions Apollo will arrive once he gets off work, and I breathe a sigh of relief as I’ve spent the last few episodes wondering if Apollo has a job.
The ladies head outside and Kandi wants to know why no one has mentioned Nene’s new nose. Nene admits to her surgeries and the topic shifts to Phaedra’s due date. The ladies want to know when she is due and Phaedra states her due date is in July, which would make her due at 7 months. Phaedra declares she will be having her baby early because she’s tired and the baby’s already formed. Phaedra asks for advice about having a baby and “you should keep him in there until he’s ready to come out,” is the brilliant comeback by Nene.
The topic turns to sex and Kandi’s web show. Dildos are brought up and Kandi shares she was planning on getting her mom one for mother’s day. Nene has the same exact reaction as I do when it comes to the topic of mothers and dildos. The topic turns to oral sex and Kandi shares that putting some sugar in your vay jay jay is an excellent trick. Once again, Nene has the same exact reaction as I when she declares, “Listen, I would never put kool-aid, candid yams, a peppermint candy, pancake syrup, none of those things in my vay jay jay. That’s crazy!”
Apollo arrives and makes certain to present Phaedra with her mother’s day gift in front of everyone. The gift is a Gucci baby bag and the boughetto one is pleased. Sheree reads my mind when she wants to know why Apollo had to give Phaedra her gift at the brunch and not in the privacy of their own home.
Nene randomly brings up the topic of cheating, and makes mention of being low key and basically not adventurous in the bedroom. Cynthia’s boyfriend Peter, who is coming off more and more like a jerk, decides to use that fact as the reason Nene’s marriage is failing. It’s one thing to think this, but Peter actually decides to say this out loud and Nene doesn’t take too well to Peter’s comments. Cynthia can only sit there, looking humiliated at her man’s actions.
Kandi’s mom Joyce issues some sound advice to Nene, making it clear that she is not advising Nene to leave Gregg one way or another, but to rather live her life to the fullest as “you only have one life.” With those wise words, the episode ends.
TELL US – WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE OF THE ATLANTA HOUSEWIVES?