Basketball Wives Recap: Will The Real Non Muthaf*ckin’ Factor Please Stand Up?

The Basketball Wives are back this season, and oh boy, as the drama picks up right where they left off from the reunion show!

The episode begins with the mean girl clique Evelyn and Shaunie paying Jennifer a visit. After threatening to leave husband Eric for what seems like the past 2 decades, it seems Jennifer finally made good on her promise! Oh never mind, as Jennifer reveals it was Eric who actually kicked her out of the condo they shared by putting it up for sale.

Jennifer, who is one sneeze away from experiencing a wardrobe malfunction, reveals she is very happy to be living on her own. “I’m just like a new person right now,” says Jen and what better way to celebrate the new Jen than with a divorce party! But wait, has she even filed yet? While the ladies continue their convo, sh*t stirrer Shaunie decides to bring up Tami, and Evelyn reveals there’s still a lot of bad blood. That tends to happen when you sleep with someone’s husband and then call them a “non muthaf*ckin’ factor.” Royce is brought up as well and as expected, they have yet to make up.

And speaking of Royce, who is now sporting a lighter mane, she is now single again after breaking up with what’s his face because they “didn’t mesh.” Firecracker Royce also reveals she hasn’t seen Evelyn in a minute but she is more than ready to box if they ever cross paths, or was it self defense? Oh well, whatever the case, we can expect a WWE match at some point!

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Tami meets up with Royce and the topic of conversation is Suzie. Royce wants Tami to give Suzie another chance, while Tami is a little more reserved. Can you blame her? She doesn’t like her secrets broadcasted to the world. And boom! We find out Evelyn is planning to sell some “non mothaf*ckin’ factor” t-shirts much to Tami’s dismay. Tami feels Evelyn is the actual “non muthaf*ckin’ factor” for being a “jump-off” while Royce prefers the more politically correct term of “Ho!” Ouch.

Evelyn and Shaunie meet up for pedis and manis and Evelyn lets us in on some TMI — her fiance Chad Ochocinco has a foot fetish. And I could have gone my entire life without knowing that little tidbit. Thanks Evelyn. The Tami beef is brought up once again and Evelyn really really wants us to know she is NOT a home wrecker. Her defense is that Tami’s ex-husband Kenny Anderson wasn’t with Tami when she did the sexy times with him. Interesting cause Tami and the rest of the world seems to see things differently.

It is now time to meet the messy new castmember Meeka Claxton, and whew! She is actually a real wife yall! Thank goodness because I was starting to think it was time for VH1 to rethink the whole show title. Shaunie reveals Meeka is in Miami to break into the real estate biz, though for a minute there I thought it was because VH1 cast her to be on the show after begging and repeatedly emailing them. But what do I know?

Meeka wastes no time in meddling as she begins to make her rounds by meeting up with Jennifer next. Meeka is super eager to get into the messiness of things and brings up a radio interview that Jen’s ex? husband Eric did. Jennifer is of course a bit taken back that Meeka is getting right to business! No intros or pleasantries needed. Despite not being cool with Royce, Jen advises Meeka to meet her and make her own judgement.

And Suzie’s back! You know, despite the reports that came out stating she had quit the show. Suzie’s return does make sense since Royce is also now “out of the circle.” Also joining the outer circle outcasts is Ashley from last season. As the ladies talk, it appears Suzie is still a bit upset as she feels Royce threw her under the bus last season. She kinda did no?

Meeka is still making her rounds and whew! I’m exhausted for her. Meeka, an official wife, tells Royce she would rather not be hanging around her but VH1 is forcing her to! Okay no she didn’t say that. Gloria Meeka does mention that with Royce being a dancer, she feels like she is consorting with the enemy. Who knew being a dancer in the NBA put one at the bottom of a pecking order? Meeka then wants the 411 on Royce and Evelyn’s issues. You mean she didn’t watch last season?

After her meeting with Royce, Meeka is still unsure about which clique to join – the outcasts or the mean girls? To make her decision, she meets up for dinner with the later. And within 2 seconds of arriving, Meeka brings up her meeting with Royce! Yes within seconds folks! Even the resident sh*t sharter Shaunie is a little taken back by Meeka’s boldness. Jen, Meeka’s new BFF according to Meeka, is also taken back, as is Evelyn as well as the millions of people watching the show.

Proving that maxi dresses are still in style, Tami and Evelyn meet up to discuss Evelyn’s genius? t-shirt idea amongst other things. In a shocker, Evelyn actually apologizes. At first, Tami seems to accept the apology only to bring up Evelyn’s 10-year relationship with her ex Antoine Walker. Tami’s point is that Evelyn is the real “non mothafuckin’ factor” for never becoming a wife. Meow! Tami brings up the t-shirt idea and Evelyn tries to clean things up by stating she will give a portion of the sales to Tami’s charity for young girls. Tami is NOT on board and Evelyn is happy to keep all the profits to herself. Tami threatens a lawsuit and Evelyn’s response is bring it!

Newbie Meeka decides to take a break from sticking her nose in other people’s business to actually spend time with her husband Speedy (Is that his birth name?) Claxton. Bo-ring! Meeka and Speedy don’t really talk about much and me thinks I prefer the Meeka better when she is nose deep in issues that don’t concern her! Next, Tami decides to meet up with Suzie‘s lisp to talk things out. Tami decides to be “chill” with Suzie Can’t Hold Water while promising to keep her secrets to herself. Tami also reveals her plans to sue Evelyn and Suzie just appears relieved to be out of the cra cra circle.

To close out the season premiere, it was then time for the smackdown between Tami and Evelyn! Tami heads into Evelyn’s shoe store Dulce/Dolce/Dolche to personally hand her the “lawsuit.” Um don’t they have servers for that? Tami brings up the t-shirts and Evelyn, who just happens to have a box of them right next to her, grabs one to show her. It’s really hard to be Team Evelyn on this, because for one the t-shirts are fugly! Evelyn’s defense is that she is “turning a negative situation into something positive.” Tami’s response is “you are turning that into money.”

Tami finally hands Evelyn the yet to be filed lawsuit? for defamation. And Evelyn threatens to counter sue for defamation as well. Yes she did! Apparently Evelyn believes Tami soiled her good reputation to the world and is the reason people now see her as sleeping with a married man. Newsflash Evelyn, you did that all on your own! If anything, she should be suing her BFF/executive-producer Shaunie for “blowing up her spot.”

Evelyn rips up the “lawsuit” and the ladies have some friendly words of exchange. Oddly enough, a closer look at Tami’s tank shows the word “It Wasn’t Not Funny” scribbled on there. For those of you not familiar with those words, it is Tami’s infamous catchphrase from her season on the Real World, way back in 1993.

Tami finally walks out of Evelyn’s store, but not before threatening to take ownership and change the name to Tami’s! Fast forward to today and it seems the lawsuit threat did not scare Evelyn as she is now selling the non factor t-shirts.

And with that, the season 3 premiere of the Basketball Wives is over though we are left with many unanswered questions such as, who is the real “non muthaf*ckin’ factor”? And is “Non Muthaf*ckin’ Factor” a better catchphrase than “Who Gon Check Me Boo?” Will Evelyn be able to beat Tami to her lawsuit? Why is Evelyn’s shoe store always empty? Where do the ladies get their fabulous earrings from? Will they finally figure out Shaunie is a secret sh*t stirrer? Will Meeka learn to mind her own bizwax? So many questions, so little time. Here’s to hoping all of the above will be answered on this new season of the show!

TELL US – WHO’S THE REAL NON MUTHAC*KING FACTOR? WAS EVELYN WRONG TO MAKE THE T-SHIRTS OR DID TAMI OVEREACT?

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