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Sean Lowe! Is that a long-tail boat you have there or are you just happy to see me? Sean sails into Thailand to forgo sexy times with his three remaining bachelorettes – Lindsay Yenter, AshLee Frazier, Catherine Guidici – in the Bachelor fantasy suite. They go to the suite, but instead of the normal sexy times, Sean and his ladies share closed mouth kisses and play M.A.S.H.
 
My M.A.S.H. game says Sean and Catherine will live in a house in Dallas with three kids. two dogs, and one hamster. Crossing my fingers! 
 
Can you imagine spending only eight-ish "off camera" hours with someone before proposing marriage? I most certainly cannot, and leading into this week, Sean has some doubts as well. You see, he has feelings for all three women, and it's hard. Being. The. Bachelor. Is. Hard. 
 
We share your pain, SeanWatching it hasn't always been enjoyable either.  
 
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Let's Recap Sean Lowe's Future Probably Not Wives
 
Sean and Lindsay's spark has grown into a massive flame. Sean says, "She's so loving, caring, generous, supportive, and hilarious; she never has a bad day." Everything Sean wants out of life matches up with what Lindsay wants. Lindsay is young and talks and giggles like a thirteen-year-old girl. She wore a bridal gown and drank too much the very first night. I feel like Lindsay is too immature for Sean.
 
Sean never has to guess how poor broken AshLee is feeling because she never shuts up is so open and she has amazing wife-y qualities. They, too, want the same things out of life. AshLee is beautiful, though her boobs are kind of wonky. She has control issues and childhood abandonment trauma. AshLee needs to realize that no man wants to bear the burden of "fixing" her. She needs to do that on her own. 
 
Sean and Catherine's morals and values are in synch. Sean says, "She's so sweet, funny, intelligent, weird, nerdy, and goofy. I need more silly in my life." That said, Sean and Catherine share plenty of serious moments and "off the charts" romantic moments also. Catherine loves life. She's gorgeous, even with her hair constantly hanging in her face, but she suffers from low self esteem. 
 
Lindsay and Sean Shop, Eat Bugs, Feed Monkeys
 
Sean and Lindsay go to the market. AshLee and Catherine stay home. Sean asks Lindsay eat a bug. And she goes wee, wee, wee, all the way home eats the stupid thing in the name of love. These people. Sean presents a bigger bug and is like, Come on, you're only in Thailand once! Prove you love me! At home, Selma is like, I've heard that before! Lindsay, eat the grasshopper, or you're going home.
 
There's no way I'd eat a grasshopper for Sean… maybe Arie… 
 
Next, the love birds go to the beach, where they feed wild monkeys. Lindsay talks endlessly about needing to make sure Sean knows how much she loves him. While  Sean tells us that Lindsay could be his wife, he tells her that she's the best friend he's been looking for. Surrounded by parade floats, Sean and Lindsay eat dinner and talk about the future. Lindsay says she is open to moving to Dallas, adding, "I'm so excited for our life to start."
 
While the night's entertainment interrupts Linsday's dinner time profession of love, she manages to finally spit it out (um. no pun intended.) in the fantasy suite. Lindsay tells Sean that she love him,  and Sean loves "to hear" it. It's magical and inspiring. "Today changed my life," Lindsay says. "Everything makes sense now that I've fed monkeys on a beach."
 
Sean Explores AshLee's Dark Cave Control Issues
 
AshLee says, "I'm so excited. I'm here with the love of my life. Words cannot express the overwhelming joy I feel when I'm with him." She goes on to say, "Sean is probably my true love. I love him more than words can express." Is it just me? For someone who claims to have feelings that can't be expressed through words, AshLee sure does have a lot to say.
 
Sean wants AshLee to stop talking loosen up and prove that she trusts him. To do this, Sean asks AshLee to swim through a deep, dark cave with him. AshLee reminds us that her parents didn't want her, adding, "When you're with the person that you love, you're kind of going down that dark alley way. What scares me, here, is taking a risk and not knowing the outcome. As much as I'm terrified… my commitment is to Sean. You have to let go or else you don't fall in love."
 
Sean and AshLee find their way out of the cave and simply enjoy the beach on the other side. Oh… not so fast…. AshLee is there a deep meaning here? Of course there is! "Today represented me completely letting go of every structure I have and doing something far beyond anything I ever thought I'd be doing." AshLee is exhausting.
 
Over dinner, AshLee stresses about corrupting her good morals in the fantasy suite. When AshLee hesitates to accept the invitation, citing concerns about boundaries being crossed behind closed doors, Sean assures her (and America) that he only wants to talk. AshLee accepts the invitation and wastes no time telling Sean about the style, shape, and size engagement ring she desires. At the end of the night, AshLee says, "This man has literally healed my broken heart."
 
Sean Doesn't Make Catherine Prove Her Love
 
Catherine is very spunky. She's like, Yay, Sean! I missed you! Yay, Thailand! I missed you! Sean's a hunk! To Sean, Catherine says, "I'm so happy and lucky that I have been so open with you and that you can handle how weird I am. I seriously have not been this vulnerable or myself with anybody." Sean loves her weirdness.
 
Sean and Catherine go sailing and swimming. It starts to rain just before they head back to land for dinner. With a thunderstorm brewing in the background, Sean and Catherine kiss (rather passionately) in the rain. One of the most real and romantic scenes I've seen on the Bachelor in a long time. Kudos to Catherine for bringing out Sean's passionate side.
 
The dinner discussion includes the future and marriage. To us, Catherine says, "When I first met Sean, I never thought that a boy like him would like a girl like me. Going through this process and being completely myself and having him accept that, it really helps me understand that I do deserve someone like that." To Sean, Catherine says, "You're such hunk. I never thought I'd be able to be with someone like you. You have so much beyond that, and I hope you know not all I care about is that you are beefy and hunky."
 
When Catherine goes on to talk about feeling insecure around him, Sean says, "You are smoking hot. I'm the lucky one. Promise. (awkward stares) You make me happy." Catherine thinks they are meant to be together. 
 
Sean Lowe's Hardest Rose Ceremony Ever
 
Going into the rose ceremony, Sean tells Chris Harrison that he knows who he is sending home. "She's special and brings a lot to the table, but my relationships with the other two women are stronger," Sean says. "She's one of the sweetest women I have ever met in my life – so sweet, so full of love."
 
Chris: Is your wife here? Sean: I can see that, yes.
 
Chris: You're in love? Sean: Yes. 
 
Lindsay gets the first rose. Then, Sean makes Catherine and AshLee wait approximately eight minutes before he offers the second rose to Catherine
 
Sadly, AshLee's journey to find love on the Bachelor has come to an end. AshLee's face turns to ice. On her way out, she ignores Catherine and Lindsay and asks Sean to stay back instead of walking her to the car. Sean ignores her request and begs for a chance to explain. Sean says things like I thought it was you and a lot of intensity and hard decision and I think the world of you.
 
AshLee says ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to Sean
 
"This wasn't a silly game to me. This wasn't about a joy ride and laughter and joking and having fun," AshLee shares. "It's hard to say goodbye to Sean because I let him in. I loved him. I just feel real heavy in my heart."
 
AshLee turns her face away from the camera when she begins to cry. 
 
TELL US – WERE YOU SAD TO SEE ASHLEE GO HOME? SHOULD ASHLEE BE THE NEXT BACHELORETTE? 
 
Photo credit: ABC

 

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