Last night was the second episode of Private Lives of Nashville Wives. The ladies continued to get to know each other and already the bitchy claws are coming out – southern girl style for some and full-fledged Real Housewife in training for others!
Cassie Chapman and her husband Gary have had their share of struggles – most notably their inability to have a child. The couple finally decided to adopt their daughter Eva Rose. Unfortunately birth mom Chelsea has ten days to change her mind and seems to be wavering. Cassie is on pins and needles, but Gary trusts faith and believes, "The more you anticipate the good, the better it will be."
To take her mind off the stressful situation Cassie decides to visit Erika Page White. Erika is a control freak and a micro-manager who invites Cassie over to tour their immaculate to the point of boring home. It is literally like one of those extended stay hotels except 4x the size. Everything is beige and bland. Even the master bedroom features rent-a-center style dullsville furniture and no personal touches. Erika describes "perfect" as a closet that is completely empty and "echos". Her hallway closet has one thing in it: a Dyson – and definitely NOT the purple Dyson Pet, the classic yellow for impeccably clean people.
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Erika's one nod to the fun is that she has a drawer full of "costumes" for role playing. "After 16 years of marriage you have to keep things interesting," she explains whipping out a Fourth of July hat and spinning flag. Either Erika only puts out on holidays or hubby Bryan is a big fan of the festive, cause I dunno that was all kinds of awkward! Erika and Cassie are close friends and can relate to each other over marrying has-been musicians. Erika complains that they can never take vacations in the summer because of potential gigs. Cassie dishes that when she met Gary he was flat broke after going belly-up in the real estate bust. "So anybody says I'm a gold digger – I'm not!" she chirps.
Bryan is headed out of town for a gig and he's bringing their sons with him leaving Erika alone for the first time in years. On her downtime she usually stays home and color coordinates paint samples from beige to taupe, but this time she's hosting a girls night. Before her sons leave she obsesses over packing by filling zillions of Ziploc bags with everything imaginable – batteries, medical stuff, snacks – really anything and everything. As she carefully labels things she explains that men don't think of the necessities. Then she wrings her hands as the boys leave. "Gotta pay the rent," Bryan tells her. Did they go belly-up in the real estate boom too?
Cassie takes a break from gushing over new baby Eva and trying to gently coax birth mother Chelsea to understand that open adoption doesn't mean moving in, to get ready for girls night at Erika's. Erika frets about the place she chose, what she's wearing, if her makeup is making her look older. This lady is stress walking.
Erika is so out-dated she hires a white stretch limo to pick all the girls up. Jenny Terrell is rocking a trucker hat that reads "I Bring Home The Bacon" with a cocktail dress. She explains the hat as her extensions look ratty. Or maybe she got a ton of them in some sort of Living Social deal gone unclaimed! When Erika complains that her hair is thinning and she needs extensions, Jenny tells her "Nobody likes a beautiful ex-soap star who complains about the way she looks." Erika looks sad and admits that Jenny's barbs hurt.
Also attending are twinemies Betty Malo and Ana Fernandez. Ana is ready to party and unfortunately Erika's version of party is a little less moonshine shots and a little more white wine. "When I have a girls' night it's about relaxing and having fun," Erika says of her event which has the pulse of a corpse. "Erika's a party pooper," combats Ana.
Erika decided to take everyone to a honky-tonk to line dance and karaoke, except she's never been out. Literally she says she hasn't gone out in 10 years so she simply googled the place and the first hit is where she took everyone. Big mistake. Erika is a dud of a hostess because it's a ghost town filled with good ol' boys and 'necks. Instead of making the best of it everyone is sour about the lame establishment.
Sarah Davidson is skipping girls night because she has a show in Richmond, VA. She reveals that she doesn't want to rely on her hubby's laurels to break into the industry because she wants to know she made it on her own. Sadly, no one even shows up for her show. "Some people were there just to eat a steak dinner!" she exclaims. As she and her band pack up, she seems exhausted. It's hard to follow your dreams and keep believing – even with a lot of support. Still she knows it's her destiny.
Back at girls night, things are still dull as dust! To liven things up Cassie gives Erika a present – a beer wench costume. For Bryan. Anna and Jenny beg her to put it on. "For my husband's eyes only," Erika demurs. After Erika refuses shots, Anna can take no more and whips out some hula hoops – from where?! – to try and get this party started. Erika looks like a deer in the headlights as she listlessly shimmies in her hula hoop. Anna obviously once competed in the Olympics in hula hooping. "How does she not have a man?!" Jenny gushes.
To really get Erika's blood circulating Anna sneaks into the bathroom and puts on the barmaid costume. Erika is upset but being the Southern girl that she is keeps her manners and her expressions to herself. "That's so… odd," she complains. Betty yells at Anna who does not care and flaunts it in Erika's face. Jenny and Anna giggle that Erika will never put on the costume because now it's been soiled because she's such a clean freak. They are so bored they sit in the corner and complain about wanting to leave… so LEAVE. Or suggest someplace else?
The next day Cassie is hosting a sip-n-see for new daughter Eva. She's throwing the party on the tenth day, meaning the last day the birth mother has to decide to bail out of the adoption. Cassie knows it's leaving a lot up to chance. At 2:30 pm the adoption will be officially finalized so everyone mills around hoping and praying the birth mother won't call. "If she does, don't answer your phone," Cassie jokes to Gary who promises he won't. I love them together! Cassie is adorable and they seem to be a really fun, connected couple.
2:30 rolls around and no phone call! Eva is theirs – they celebrate with a champagne toast and Eva gets a bottle of milk. Congratulations Cassie and Gary!
Anna pays Jenny a visit where they complain over cocktails that Erika is boring. "She's what I call a fun sponge," Jenny describes. "She soaks all the fun out of any situation." They decide Erika is probably not aware that she's so boring, so they're gonna tell her. I mean just to be nice; to help a girl out. Right… Or is it just to get some drama started on this show.
[Photo Credits: Twitter & TNT]
TELL US – WAS EVERYONE BEING MEAN ABOUT ERIKA'S GIRLS NIGHT OR IS SHE BORING? DID YOU ENJOY LEARNING ABOUT CASSIE AND GARY'S ADOPTION PROCESS?