I apologize in advance. There is so much for me to be sorry for in this post. I am sorry to each of you, because what you are about to read is truly ridiculous, but I urge you to keep reading. Why? Because I can't unread it, and I want people to suffer with me. I'm sorry to Jessica Alba (you'll want to apologize to her too, trust me). I'm sorry to the English language. I butcher you enough, but I am no where near the offender that Farrah Abraham is, and she's a flipping New York Times bestselling author.
I'm really sorry to the blogger at Celeb Buzz who had to interview the Teen Mom star turned porn queen and try to make sense of some of the things that come out of this chick's mouth (double entendre not intended…wait, yes it was). Lastly, I feel sorry FOR young Sophia because she is going to have a lot to overcome. I even pity Farrah. Sure, she's making more money than I'll ever see in my life, but wow. She is just a sad, lost soul.
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So, these days Farrah is promoting her new erotica trilogy. It's based on her time in the porn industry, but it's fiction. She wouldn't ever want it made into a movie because reading is more compelling, but she's already cast the film version. She uses Google to make sure she's up to speed on sexual terms. The interview is long. I'm sorry for that too. However, I felt so badly for whoever had to maintain a Q&A with Farrah that I feel it's our duty to at least read it all. Also, the entire thing is pure delusional gold…and who doesn't love that? Here are a few highlights.
The press release for Celebrity Sex Tape: In The Making compares your first foray into erotic writing to the literary sensation Fifty Shades of Grey. How does your book compare? "I have to say I think overall my book will have better sex scenes and also a more compelling story."
E.L. James’ bestseller has been made into a movie. What do you think about Fallon Opal coming to the big screen? "I would love for it to actually just stay in a book. Because a lot of stories I have read that are turned into movies aren’t as good or portrayed as well. So I really enjoy reading and I enjoy making stories so that they’re more compelling while you’re reading it. If it were turned into a movie, which I think would also be awesome in its own sense, I just know I would have Jessica Alba play Fallon Opal."
Why Jessica? I think she’s very relatable to myself and Fallon Opal, and I think she’s had a very good career and I would trust her playing that part.
On Casting: "Jessica Alba would be Fallon Opal. And I think the other characters would have to go through casting. I think she just has a lot of characteristics that Fallon Opal [has]… some of the descriptions in the book and some of the characters Jessica Alba has played in the past relate to where Fallon Opal is and what she’s going through. I know I personally altered my hair and changed some things for the photo shoot."
The trilogy is loosely based on your life and your sex tape. "It’s based off my true experiences, but it’s not really about a lot of the things that are relevant that I really had to go through for legal reasons. These are more fictionalized stories, but with the same meanings as I’ve learned through my experience."
On researching for her book: "The only research I really do… if we’re talking about research on the computer, I’m like ‘am I using the right sexual word?’ So people don’t get confused. I mean, there’s equally — among my friends and people I’ve run into and me — I think we’ve had enough sexual experiences for a lifetime so we’re sharing some of them."
I read that the book is going to dispel misconceptions about the porn industry. What do you mean? "So basically, everybody throws adult entertainment industry in one group and don’t really separate things when there are all these different parts to it. And that’s what Fallon talks about to her friends…. Hashing out all the differences and showing different sexual experiences, different ways they can go personally in their sexual experiences. There’s a lot of discovery that Fallon is doing and I think it will allow others to discover the true meaning of the adult entertainment industry."
You have openly said the sex tape “ruined” your life. But you seem to be doing pretty well. What do you say to people who think you're now capitalizing on its success? Do you regret saying it? "No, I don’t ever regret saying that. For me to overcome something and then be smart about my future actions moving forwardersonally in my life things got blown so much out of proportion and it became popular and I became famous and those type of things, so I wanted to incorporate that so others could live vicariously through Fallon and… I don’t know… be very compelled, that’s something different than what action I took in my past that was trying to ruin my life. So that is very serious and that’s how I feel and I am moving on from that. And if I am doing better, then I hope others support me in doing better and moving away from what I was around then."
So, a few questions…does she want her book made into a movie or not? Did the sex tape ruin her life? And, most importantly…Farrah has friends??
TELL US-WHAT DO YOU THINK OF FARRAH'S INTERVIEW? DOES IT MAKE ANY SENSE?
[Photo Credit: Ellora's Cave Twitter]