Oh, Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta, how you make Mondays worthwhile. While last night's episode was a bit boring in comparison to what we've been watching so far this season, at least their acting skills are improving…or maybe I had one too many glasses of wine. Yeah, that was probably it.
It's date night for Joseline Hernandez and Stevie J. He's trying to wine and dine her so she won't blow up at him when he tells her that their big wedding will have to wait until he's got more money in the bank. Beforehand, they discuss their big plans for a lavish wedding ceremony, and she doesn't seem to upset to postpone the party until they have more cash flow. She is, however, not happy that Stevie can't remember their actual anniversary. Funny, didn't she stumble over the date at her birthday party. Because Mona Scott Young won't grant me subtitles, I can't elaborate on what Joseline is whining about, but it has something to do with getting rid of her booking agent Dawn for not getting her any gigs. Stevie is worried she won't be able to separate out business and friendship when it comes to dealing with Dawn.
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Shut up. SHUT UP! Karlie Redd is launching her make-up line (what?) at mall kiosk. Yes, people…a mall kiosk! This has got to stop. Wait until you have an actual store to promote your product! Amazing. Karlie has invited hip hop artist Karlenna and Rasheeda Frost. She tells her girlfriends about the situation with Young Joc. Karlie admits that she purposely made him jealous because she's insecure. Rasheeda is wearing black lipstick, and it's not a good look. She's talking about how Kirk has done a total 180 with Karter…first he wanted Rasheeda out making money and now he wants her to stay at home with the baby. A baby-sitter who isn't her mom is the only compromise. One thing is for sure, whatever nanny the couple chooses won't be young and braless, that's for sure!
Joseline's almost former booking agent Dawn wants to meet up with Mimi Faust to spill the secrets of her former clients. Dawn reveals that everything about the couple's marriage is a sham. There is no marriage license and the ring is gift from one of Joseline's exes. Mimi is impressed that Stevie was able to fool so many people, but she isn't shocked by this news. Stevie even convinced best pal Benzino to put the wedding news front and center on his magazine without offering up the least bit of proof. Finally a scene with Mimi where she isn't' pretending to be distraught over the leak of her porn tape!
Lil' Scrappy rushes to Bambi's house after receiving an emergency text from his future baby mama. She's in bed and tells Scrappy that she's just gotten home from the hospital after suffering a miscarriage. Bambi is worried that this will put a wedge in their relationship, but Scrappy believes it will bring them closer. He was so excited about the idea of her having his baby, and he's upset that it turned out this way. Meanwhile, Tammy and Waka Flocka are attempting to have a story line. She's folding his clothes while he jokes about meeting a ton of women on tour. His mom is planning a big wedding for the pair, and while they would both prefer a a quickie courthouse ceremony, they owe the real deal to their families.
After learning that Karter is actually his son, Kirk does what every new father would do…he takes his friends to the
strip club sports bar to celebrate the fact that his wife didn't cheat on him. Kirk is hoping that he can convince his favorite waitress Jasmine to become Karter's nanny. Benzino is floored by his friend's cajones, and even Stevie thinks Kirk has lost his damn mind. Jasmine is surprised to learn that Kirk is married since he doesn't wear a ring, but he explains that he and Rasheeda are working on their friendship. When Stevie J. thinks you're doing something shady, your moral compass is clearly waaayyyy off! Speaking of waaayyy off, Momma Dee stops by Bambi's house to take care of the woman she once openly hated. Dee has brought by some homemade "soup for the soul" that she promises contains no poison. She is willing to put Bambi's past ho-ing behind her and focus on the fact that Bambi lost her grandchild. Dee reveals that she once had a miscarriage, and the women bond over soup…although if I were Bambi, I'd be a bit worried that Dee isn't eating any of it.it
Benzino treats Stevie to lunch, and Stevie explains he's worried about Joseline not firing Dawn. 'Zino is thrilled that his friend's marriage story has brought his magazine back to the forefront of hip hop news. Stevie high-fives him…anything for a friend! Sure. Across town, an indifferent Joc meets with Karlie so that she'll stop stalking him and blowing up his cell phone. She admits that she was only trying to make him jealous. She didn't succeed with jealousy, but she certainly pissed him off. When Karlie realizes that an apology isn't enough, she takes to sucking his finger and coddling his junk (yes) in a crowded restaurant. Check please!
Stevie is tired of Joseline stringing along Dawn, and he's ready to cut the cord. The two meet up, and Dawn has an entire dossier of documents showing Joseline's horrible credit, Stevie's rentals that he claims to own, and the fake story in Benzino's magazine. I really, really need subtitles, Stevie reminds us that he's as cool as a fan. Dawn reminds Stevie he hasn't been relevant since Reagan was in office. That's all I got folks…oh, that and receipts raining down on Stevie as Dawn storms out of the bar.
Waka's mom reminds me of someone, but I can't figure out who…any suggestions? She and Tammy talk about how hard it was when Tammy and Waka first started dating. Tammy had no family in the area, and Waka's mom wasn't her biggest fan. Now that the duo is thick as thieves, Tammy gets teary remembering the past. Waka's mom goes in for the hug as he captures the moment on his smartphone. Good times. Even better times? Joseline is twerking in her home studio. Stevie wants to tell her about his meeting with Dawn, but Joseline doesn't want to hear anything about it. Ding dong the witch is dead is all she wants to know. Stevie shares that 'Zino has offered him a piece of Hip Hop Weekly since their marriage story revived the mag.
Rasheeda comes home to waitress Jasmine holding her son in her home, sitting next to her husband. He'd better take cover. Kirk explains that he's found a nanny–surprise! Jasmine pipes up and says that she was under the impression that Kirk and Rasheeda are separated and just co-parenting in the same house. I'm extremely proud of Rasheeda's ability to keep calm. After Rasheeda kindly tells Jasmine to show herself to the door, Kirk is floored that Rasheeda didn't appreciate his effort to find good child care for their son. He can't be serious. Um, I think he's serious. Gracious, Kirk!
Karlie shares that she and Joc had wonderful make- up sex and now she's ready to see the house he has in mind for the pair. His drive/video vixen/stylish/realtor is showing them the property, and Joc is a bit concerned that he put these women together. Wait, did the realtor just tout the "route" iron banister? Try "wrought." Karlie is doing everything in her power to make me this realtor feel uncomfortable, from making out with Joc to discussing which countertops would be perfect for sex. When Joc steps out, Karlie asks point blank if the realtor was effing her man. Hell yeah, she is! Cue the beat down.
TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE? WHO HAS THE MESSIEST STORY LINE?
[Photo Credit: VH1]