Kandi Burruss tied the knot in April, but it was not without major (and I mean Mama Joyce) drama. Despite the uphill battle the couple faced, Kandi and Todd Tucker are happy, in love, supportive of each other, and eager to grow both their brands and their union.
Speaking to Ebony, Kandi shares her keys to a fulfilling marriage and gives her tips for making it in business. Since their wedding Kandi reveals that she and Todd have been spending most of their time apart due to work commitments.
"I guess we still don’t feel married yet. We went from seeing each other and being together every day to a long-distance relationship—because he’s in L.A. producing his show, Hollywood Divas, for TV One, so we see each other on the weekends. Sometimes we don’t even get to do that."
Kandi adds, "We make it work through a lot of communication, and we try to see each other as often as possible."
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"There was a time when we both got really busy and went a while without seeing each other. I actually was getting really upset, almost crying," Kandi continues. "I called him fussing one day and, as I was fussing, he came through the door and surprised me. To me, you have to do things like that and make your relationship a priority. Our new rule is to not let two weeks go by without spending time together. That’s the limit."
Kandi reveals that communication has been the most vital asset to their relationship – that and ignoring outside advice! "Going into the marriage, everyone had something to say. (laughs) Of course, everyone says communication is key. I agree. Actually, I think that’s why Todd and I have worked as a couple for so long. He enjoys talking often. In fact, I need to step my call game up throughout the day. And if we have disagreements, I’m less inclined to want to talk about it. He wants to talk everything out. That’s helped me get better with my communication."
"Of course, everyone also says to not let anyone in your business," Kandi admits. "Obviously, that was a big issue with my mom, and I’m working on that. I had to be like, 'Hey, this is what we’re doing and this is how we’re rolling.'”
Unfortunately for Kandi she never had a good role model for making a marriage work. "I’ll be honest: both of my parents have been married multiple times. With that being said, I never really had confidence in marriage. I felt like, if you can get married and divorced so easily, ain’t that just like going together?"
"And as I got older, I wanted a teammate to spend the rest of my life with. It’s like Ne-Yo said, I’m killing ’em by myself but I’m a force when we’re together. Todd and I are a force. We’re able to do things together that I probably wouldn’t have even thought about. He pushes me. He motivates me. I just love us, us. And at a certain point in your life, you don’t just want someone who you go with. You really want to be in it together. It’s a different type of commitment. You can’t just walk away from it."
Another thing that Kandi separates her relationship to Todd from previous relationships is that they truly work together. "Times in the past when I was in a relationship and things were good, my business wasn’t together. When my business was on point, my relationship sucked. I feel like a lot of men need to be catered to… a lot. So when a woman is focused on her business and putting so much energy into that area, it can be hard to give your man the attention he needs. The way to get past that is to have someone that motivates you and wants you to win. I have that with Todd, and now it seems like everything is coming together."
Kandi also shares her advice on building a business.
- "First, when you’re trying to start a business, before you even tell anybody about it, buy the web domain for it, all the social media tags, get your trademarks, everything. Because as soon as you start talking about it, someone else will snatch it up. Other people love to jump on the bandwagon and benefit from something that’s already hot." I guess Phaedra Parks should have talked to Kandi first because didn't she experience this first-hand with her workout video drama!
- "Another thing: if you want to go into a business in which you don’t have any experience, you need to intern in that field to gain your own contacts and relationships. Relationships are everything! If you don’t do that, you need to be partnered with someone who has already worked in that area successfully."
"People can be so much about having their own and not wanting to split anything, but it can be a huge benefit to have a partner who has strengths you don’t."
- "Also, start following up on your ideas. We talk ourselves out of it before we even try. We think of all the ways it won’t work: it’ll take too long or cost too much. I say don’t wait. Start small if you have to, but follow up on your ideas."
- "I would also say that a lot of people don’t like to spend money. But you have to spend money to make money. I’ve always been the kind of person to live within my means, but I will put most of my money into a project that I know will make me more money."
"Pull back on your expenses and put money to the side until you’ve stacked up enough to put toward your dream. If you’re not willing to invest in you, why would anyone else?"
[Photo Credit: Instagram]
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