On last night's Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta, I truly started to wonder just how orchestrated this craziness is. Based on the preview I was wondering if cameras were actually around when Benzino got shot on the way to his mom's funeral. At this point, nothing would surprise. I feel like the scene with Stevie J. telling Joseline Hernandez about the entire situation was filmed so long after the fact. I just can't handle the scriptedness!
Anyhoo, the episode begins with Althea, or Ho-thea as Joseline has coined her, in the studio, and the Puerto Rican princess heads to the studio to see if she's the real deal. Althea brags that it only took her one night to record her latest single and she suggests that she and Joseline should cut a track together. Please! Joseline only sings ho-lo, I mean solo. She isn't impressed with Althea, and Joseline is throwing a ton of shade regarding Althea sleeping with the entire cast. She hopes that Althea isn't playing Benzino. He's finally found the love of his life, or at least the love of this season.
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Kalenna are mattress shopping with Karlie Redd. Kalenna needs to find something cozy for her and her husband…and sometimes her best friend. Karlie is intrigued by Kalenna's threesome, and Kalenna admits that she wishes she could have both a husband and a wife. Of course, she doesn't love her best friend Ashley as much as she loves her husband. Sometimes she's just got to swim in the lady pond. Karlie admits that she's never been with a woman "in that way," and Kalenna offers a tutorial. This isn't real. This can't be real. Who talks like this–in a mattress store no less!? Speaking of mattresses, after his surprise trip to New Orleans, Kirk Frost has finally found his way back into his wife's heart…and bed. They are thrilled to be working on their relationship, but Kirk is still leery of kissing up to Rasheeda's mom.
Mimi Faust is nervous about the release of her sex tape, and she is meeting with Dawn and Nikko to discuss how to promote the video. Nikko looks like a cartoon character, and he hasn't seen Mimi since she kicked him out of her house. He's all about the money, and he wants to focus on a sequel. Sure, Nikko didn't leak the first one! Mimi wonders if she's been exploited after storming out of their meeting. Well, duh.
So, is Kalenna a new cast mate now? She pulls her husband Tony out of the studio to inform him that Ashley is coming to visit. While Tony doesn't mind his wife's friendship with Ashley, he reminds her that Ashley usually serves as a major distraction. Distractions aren't good when his wife hasn't put out an album in over three years. However, Tony doesn't mind a little girl on girl, and Kalenna can't wait to get some light skin all over her dark chocolate. Really Mona? Also in the studio is Joseline and Stevie. He wants her to be willing to work as hard as he requires, and she's convinced this new single is going to earn her a Grammy. Um, no, but this acting may earn her an Emmy! Joseline wants Stevie to schedule a showcase, and she's excited when Stevie agrees to put her on the stage. Stevie isn't happy to learn that Joseline paid a visit to Ho-thea. She wonders if Stevie put his bleep in Althea's bleep because Joseline knows that he and Zino like to share bleep. Lovely.
Rasheeda is catching up with Althea over lunch. They have known each other for years, but haven't seen each other in a long time. They discuss how much Althea has "dated" within the industry, but Althea says that people would be surprised to learn that she hasn't gotten around as much as people would think. Althea does reveal that she has an admission she's been keeping from Benzino because she's unsure how much he knows. Rasheeda reminds Althea that if it's something that could hurt him, he needs to find out from her.
Heading to the gym, Mimi wants the support of best friend Ariane, but she doesn't like what she hears. Althea wonders if Mimi can see the pattern in the string of horrible losers she chooses, but Mimi takes major offense. She just likes what she likes. When Ariane says she truly believes that Nikko purposely leaked the tape and sold it to the highest bidder, Mimi goes on the major defensive. Stevie screwed Mimi over enough, and Ariane hates to see Nikko doing it now. Just to keep the male viewer's attention, we are treated to a montage of Joseline and Stevie auditioning dancers for her upcoming showcase. The Puerto Rican princess reminds them all that she is queen of the stripper pole.
Ariane ambushes Nikko at his gym. When she inquires about his status with Mimi, he says that everything is hunky dory. She follows up by asking if he leaked the tape. He issues his regular denial with a a major smirk, and he accuses her of being a fake friend when she questions how good of a partner he is to Mimi. I can barely look at him, he's so silly looking. It's like he's constantly smelling poo. Meanwhile, Ashley has arrived in Atlanta ready to twerk and work. The women moon passers-by. This is going to be interesting.
Over a romantic evening in, Althea decides to tell Zino that one night awhile back she slept with Stevie. Gross. She then accuses Benzino of trying to play her because he should have known and never brought it up to her. Benzino was approaching their relationship with the don't ask, don't tell philosophy. He isn't surprised to hear about Stevie, but he's surprised she felt the need to tell him. When he didn't know for sure about her past dalliances, he didn't have to think about it. He's not happy about this new honest revelation, and he smashes his wine glass into the fire. Mazel!
Tony is glad that Ashley is in town. Watching another woman lick his wife is every man's dream, isn't it? He hopes that Ashley provides Kalenna with some inspiration, and not just ass-piration. Tony is upset to hear that Ashley wants Kalenna all to herself. He's left high and dry to clean up the kitchen as his dreams of a threesome quickly fade. Poor Tony. The following day (if you actually believe this timeline), Benzino goes running out of his house, tearful at the news that his mother has passed away. He foreshadows that the funeral will be awkward because he has issues with some of his family members. I'm glad that cameras were there to capture his drive to the airport, because there is no way that Mona would make him recreate that scene, would she? Don't answer that. Stevie rushes to his friend's side, heading to Boston for the funeral. He's worried about Zino due to the craziness with his family. Money, power, and greed don't mix, and he wants to make sure that nothing happens to him. Wow. Stevie should get a second job as a fortune teller!
TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE? HOW CRAZY IS THIS SCRIPTED MESS?
[Photo Credit: VH1]