On this episode of Manzo’d With Children, it looks like a typical summer day in the Manzo household with Albie and Christopher practicing their chip shot in the backyard and Lauren moping around them. Caroline decides to drop the bomb that they are heading to good ole Austin Texas next week to do some research on BBQ sauce. It’s the last family vacay before Lauren gets married and Caroline wants to make sure her bbq sauce is competitive with other brands out there before it hits the shelves. The whole family is on board and this should be fun!
As they’re packing their stuff up, we learn Albie and Christopher’s dog died last Christmas and the last memory they have is of him peeing on their luggage. Gross. Across the hallway, Lauren is packing stilettos and might want to throw in some gym shoes because you know, Texas has dirt. Good God. Christopher is eager to get to Texas and experience some authentic Texas goodies (gun fights, big hair, etc.). While I appreciate their stabs at humor, it’s just very Paris Hilton/Nicole Richie-esque and not funny at all. Meanwhile, we learn Abie is now not eating meat and it’s apparently huge drama as Texas might not have any white meat for him. Oiy!
Once they touch down in Austin and they are en route to their hotel, they are amazed at the landscape of the state. I cringe as Lauren is completely mystified by the purpose of the oil wells they’re passing on the drive. Even Caroline can’t believe how clueless Lauren can be. Their first stop is a delish BBQ spot where Caroline tries to convince the owner to spill the beans on his yummy sauce recipe and she is brutally denied. This little research trip is going to be tougher than she thought! At the table, Albie continues to whine about the travesty of eating red meat, blah, blah, blah. I will eat red, white, brown, purple or pink meat any day of the week from that joint – it looked amazing!
To keep Caroline’s spirits up about her sauce endeavor – Christopher decides they head out to a bar for some real Texas fun and cocktails! Mission accomplished on his part, as their waitress Terri can’t keep the shots coming fast enough. The night ends early as they have a big day tomorrow trying all the BBQ Austin has to offer.
Surprisingly, Caroline is not hungover as she shares with Lauren she hasn’t been drunk since a bad experience with blackberry brandy way back in 1971. Once they arrive to a neighboring town, Luling, TX they’re off tasting food in tents and buying awesome cowboy hats for Lauren’s gigantic noggin. Post festival, dinner is at the BBQ gold standard in the USA – Salt Lick BBQ. This place is unreal and if Caroline thinks her BBQ can stand a chance against them then she has quite a bit to learn. The owner of Salt Lick graciously allows Caroline to tour the restaurant and try all the sauces, but short of laughing in her face, he informs her it’s taken about 150 years perfecting their products.
Despite all of this, Caroline feels the trip has been a success and next week is her photo shoot for the sauce bottles! Nothing like Caroline’s face slapped all over condiment bottles at Safeway. Also, Albie may or may not be getting a tattoo of Brittany’s ( I have no idea how you spell her name and have been most likely spelling it wrong this entire time) name on his back – to be continued!!
TELL US – DID CAROLINE SERIOUSLY EXPECT PEOPLE TO GIVE UP THEIR RECIPES?!