The super-sized Real Housewives of New Jersey part 1 reunion episode aired last night. The good news? With the exception of some of our brain cells, the show ended with no casualties.
For some odd reason, I assumed the highly promoted “fight scene” between Teresa, Danielle and innocent bystander Andy, would occur in part 2 of the reunion set to air next week, but thanks to the ape-like animal instincts of Teresa Giudice, all the drama went down within the first 20 minutes of the show!
The reunion started out with host Andy Cohen greeting each of the ladies, while issuing them phony compliments, buttering them up for the madness that is about to ensue. Andy decides to ask the ladies about that other little Jersey show aka the Jersey Shore, and Teresa, who likes to request an occasional spanking on her bottom in public, immediately lets us know she does not approve. When asked why, Teresa reveals one of the female cast members jumped into bed with a guy on the show after barely knowing him.
All was going well until Teresa decided to take a dig at Danielle 2 minutes into the show. “I think Danielle could relate to them, right Danielle? Because after a week you met Steve, you slept with him in my Shore house, in front of your kids. That was okay, right, right?” Danielle calmly refers to Teresa as insane, and Teresa retorts by calling Danielle a pig. Jacqueline chimes in, stating that Danielle’s kids heard her having sex with her ex Steve on that faithful day. More on Danielle’s kids later, as we will discover their mother’s actions is taking a toll on them.
Andy decides to ask the ladies how their kids are dealing with the notoriety of the show. Danielle immediately lets us know her kids are doing amazingly well, you know, despite the fact that their prostitution whore of a mother is on national television acting loony, and released a sex tape just a few months ago.
Danielle is accused of not congratulating Jacqueline when she had her baby boy. So she congratulates Jacqueline, who fake accepts the congrats. Dina Manzo‘s name comes up, and the big topic of last year’s reunion show is brought up, which was the accusation by the other ladies that Danielle did something very awful to Dina. Dina has since come out this year, stating in a national magazine that Danielle offered unsolicited help to her ex-husband to try to have her daughter taken away from her. But what we didn’t know is that following the publication of Dina’s interview with Life&Style magazine, Danielle had her lawyers issue a gag order to Dina, forbidding her from discussing Danielle’s role in whole issue.
“We can’t talk about it. Can’t talk about it! End, done, next,” proclaims Caroline Manzo. Danielle doesn’t yield to Caroline’s command and continues to discuss the issue. “Do not speak of my sister! Did you hear what I said? Do not speak of my sister, she is not here!” screams Caroline.
And I have nothing against Caroline, but at this point I’m trying to figure out who died and made her authority over what can and cannot be discussed. Yes, I understand she wants to defend her sister, but that sister was a part of the show this season, and because she chose not to attend the reunion doesn’t make her exempt from discussion. Caroline came off as a major bully in this scene.
Some more words are exchanged amongst the ladies, and Teresa brings up the fact that Danielle failed to acknowledge Jacqueline’s son. “Do you acknowledge your nephew?” are the words uttered by Danielle, obviously meant to get a reaction out of Teresa. “Yes of course I did,” calmly replied Teresa before giving us a delayed reaction by going into an extreme rage! “Do not bring up my family!” screamed out a very angry Teresa. “You bitch, you f*cking bitch,you piece of sh*t, you motherf*cker,” were the words of Teresa, who I found out last night is actually college educated with a marketing degree.
Andy Cohen even got a powerful shove from the angry Teresa as he tried to hold her back from Danielle, who calmly walked off the stage. Okay, yes Danielle tried to push Teresa’s buttons but Teresa’s reaction was over the top, uncalled for, and pretty much a very unnecessary sequel to last season’s table flipping. Let’s assume Danielle’s accusation is untrue, why react like a lunatic? By now, we all realize what a trouble maker and sh*t stirrer Danielle is, why give her that reaction? It seems to me that Teresa’s over the top reaction as more to do with the other issues going on in her life at the moment.
We are back from commercial break and we see Caroline, who looks a bit mortified, attempting to calm down an enraged Teresa backstage. Danielle wonders out-loud why her life and past is fair game, but she’s not allowed to bring up their dirt, which is a sorta valid point. “It’s true, she didn’t even acknowledge her nephew,” says Danielle to her new posse.
Back on stage, Andy Cohen grows some balls, albeit very little balls according to the good folks at AbsurdtoSublime, when he tells Teresa she must keep her animal rage in check! Danielle is backstage relishing in her role as a victim, while being consoled by her ever changing posse. With a hug from her rumored lesbian superstar superhero girlfriend Lori Michaels, Danielle is ready to face her foes once again.
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