Luann is cool, why aren't you?

I was hoping Luann de Lesseps’ blog would give us some juicy inside information on what we didn’t see on this week’s Real Housewives of New York, but other than hinting that she didn’t get past first base with the “Englishman” (wait – wasn’t he Scottish?) she brought home, she spends most of her time rehashing what we’ve already witnessed on screen. Maintaining that Heather Thomson and Carole Radziwill broke #GirlCode, Luann still seems rip-roaring mad about them barging in on her the morning after Heather found an unattended naked man in the room adjoining hers. 

Noting that she’s writing this week from Ibiza, Spain, on vacation with “great friends and enjoying the fabulous nightlife,” Luann jumps right into the “‘f— you dinner‘ where Dorinda [Medley] reached her dirty martini limit.” Luann shares, “Heather being her usual bossy self, shooed Dorinda from the table so they could resolve their issues alone. Ramona [Singer] followed the girls into the bathroom and basically forced a hug on Dorinda and that’s when Heather got all gangsta on her so she would leave. I think Heather intimidated Ramona into backing off, and I believe Ramona when she said she felt scared.”

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When the ladies decided  to go out to a karaoke bar after the drunken dinner fiasco, Luann claims she was glad that Heather and Carole cut and run. “I wasn’t disappointed to see them go,” she says, “I went out with Ramona and Sonja [Morgan] to a karaoke bar, and we had the best time! We invited some lovely English gentlemen back to the house for drinks, and we were having so much fun we didn’t want the night to end…if you know what I mean!” Yes, we know what you mean, Countess. 

“The next morning, the sh– hit the fan in our villa when Heather stumbled naked into the bathroom and discovered one of our friends from the night before sleeping au naturel!” recalls Luann. “I had no idea that Ramona let her friend sleep upstairs. Thank God I sent mine home. That’s a first! The man wasn’t in Heather’s bedroom; he was in another room separated by a bathroom! Poor Dorinda didn’t make it down the stairs before being accosted by Heather and her sidekick Carole, whose reaction was over the top. Dorinda hadn’t had a chance to put her contacts in, never mind process what happened the night before. Then the hysterical duo decided to confront Ramona, and she, as usual, punted the problem off to me!”

What really ticked Luann off was how Heather and Carolebarged into my room, yelling about our overnight houseguest. They may have knocked, but I can assure you, they didn’t wait for an answer before running into my room. I could have been swinging from a chandelier with a guy on my back for all they knew!”  Luann defends, “I was angry that they didn’t respect my privacy. I’m single, and I can do what I like with whom I like, and it’s none of their business. Once I arose and came out to the kitchen for a much-needed caffeine jolt, Heather launched into me again and that was when I’d had enough of her histrionics and told her, ‘Don’t be all uncool.'”

Clearing up any suspicions of her having wrecked a home somewhere abroad with her drunken post-karaoke antics, Luann claims, “As for the man I was flirting with being married, I can assure you his marriage vows are still intact!” Hmmm…not sure if I’m buying what she’s selling with this line. 

After heading back to the city, Luann got increasingly heated about Heather and Carole’s invasion of her privacy, and was ready to confront them at Kristen Taekman’s Denim and Diamonds party. “As you can see, although I was enjoying decorating my jeans, I was still angry with the girls for barging into my room on our vacation. I couldn’t believe it when I confronted Heather and told her that Carole apologized to me that Carole, when asked, denied doing so. I assure you, Carole apologized for invading my privacy. My problem is that neither Heather nor Carole feel like they did anything wrong.”

Luann asserts that “Heather and Carole broke the Girl Code that morning in Turks and Caicos and after I said my piece, I was done. I decided to leave the girls to their jeans and their drama.” She closes her blog reminding us “Until next week, don’t break the #GirlCode!” 

TELL US: DO YOU THINK LUANN IS JUSTIFIED IN HER ANGER AT HEATHER AND CAROLE? WHERE’S RAMONA IN ALL OF THIS!? 

Photo Credit: Bravo

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