Were you guys as freaked out by the previews for this week’s Little Women: LA as I was? Briana Renee hinting around about being PREGNANT with He Who Shall Not Be Named’s baby!? I need a power nap before I even hit play on my DVR tonight. This is going to be traumatic/exhausting/cray-cray! 

Before we get to the more shocking moments, Lifetime throws us a bone in the form of Terra Jole, Tonya Banks, and Elena Gant frolicking in a field, flying kites. Weird, yet somehow…comforting? Terra and Tonya tell Elena about the Briana confrontation that happened at apple picking, and how Briana promised to “think about” reaching out to her parents. Not really a promise worth its weight in cubic zirconia, but it’s all Briana was willing to say. Elena confesses she didn’t come to the apple picking because Jasmine Sorge’s face was there, and she didn’t want to see it. Terra encourages Elena to sit down and mend fences with Jasmine, but Elena is all eye-rolls and long sighs on the subject. She’s not ready. Guess who is ready to rekindle the romance with ex-boo, Kerwin? Tonya! She’s looking for love wherever she can find it, apparently.     


Over at Briana’s house, she’s making cookies with her adorable daughter Leiana, when Matt Ericson (if we don’t speak his name, his horcruxes only gather strength!) ambles downstairs to talk about how they haven’t been to Washington where his abandoned kids reside in a long time. Briana says Matt is a “great dad” to his boys and an amazing step dad to Leiana, but they want to complete this insane puzzle with another baby.

Briana-Renee-Greenshirt-Leina-Little-Women-LABriana hints around that she’s been feeling a little off. She confesses in her talking head that she’s been experiencing sore boobs, missed periods, and a bloated stomach. Gee whiz! Could it be the flu? Could it be stress? Hmmmmm. “I think I’ll have to schedule a doctor’s appointment,” she tells him. Matt of the unemployment line just needs to check his calendar and – oh, yeah! He’s free to accompany her on whatever day that happens.   

Kerwin is coming into town, per Tonya’s orders. This pair have had an on and off relationship over the years and have raised a lovely daughter, Angelique, together. Kerwin is shocked to hear that Tonya is interested in him now that she’s desperate, as she’s turned him down so many times before. Kerwin basically wants a signed contract or something close to it because Tonya’s bound to change her mind again. Plus, her ex, Jaa, is still in the picture as Tonya’s business partner in their workout video enterprise. Tonya assures Kerwin that she’ll prove her commitment to him if he just gives her a chance. We’ll see about that…

Christy McGinity and her charming mother (who’s moving in with her) head out for  girls’ night. They talk about how small their current house is and how their house hunt needs to be sped up. Also driving everyone crazy is Todd’s video game addiction. Todd’s sedentary lifestyle is the main concern though, as Christy fears his morbid obesity will be the barrier between them and an adopted baby. Christy’s proposed solution? Gastric bypass for Todd! (Todd just doesn’t know it yet.)

Elena and Saint Preston are at the cosmetic surgeon’s office consulting about ANOTHER butt implant. Elena wants a butt worthy of Terra Jole’s badonkadonk (why!?), so she’s back to fill her head with more possibilities…butt, boobs, and fixing up a few “problem areas.” Terra spills the tea that Jasmine is thinking about a boob job too! But Elena is not up for hearing anything Jasmine-related. She sees Terra for the sh*t stirrer she is right now, and she’s over it.

Double date time! Preston and Elena meet Tonya and Kerwin out for dinner. Elena asks where Kerwin is staying. At Tonya’s? In Tonya’s BED? Preston seems shocked to hear Elena grilling Tonya like this. But she keeps going, asking why their relationship didn’t work out in the past. Kerwin admits the truth: Tonya’s been tough to pin down. Plus, Kerwin is kinda-sorta in a current relationship with someone else. Messy. Tonya doesn’t want to treat Kerwin like a light switch she can turn on and off anymore. And Kerwin is not sticking around to see it happen. He wants Tonya to be 100% in, or he’s out.


Jasmine and her hubby Chris are out on a blase’ shopping trip when Jasmine suspiciously starts eyeing up baby supplies. Chris side-eyes her for awhile, then finally asks her what she’s up to.  He doesn’t think it’s the right time to add another baby to their family, as his job situation is up in the air. “There’s never a right time to have a child,” Jasmine argues, and Chris crumbles like a house of cards. He’s down to have another baby. So, let’s take those babies supplies to go!

It’s dinnertime at Matt and Briana’s, where Briana is feeling let down by the news at the doctor today: She is not pregnant. Repeat: SHE IS NOT PREGNANT. Matt comforts Briana as she breaks down in tears about not being pregnant and her fears over what’s actually causing these health issues. Stress? Yeah, no doubt. Briana fears she might not be able to have more kids, which is kind of a drastic place to go to in her head. Matt really wants a baby, and they’ll keep trying (so, we finally have an admission that they’re “trying,” eh?). One thing’s for sure, Briana isn’t up for IVF, so she hopes it doesn’t come to that.

The last day of Kerwin’s trip is upon us, and Tonya still doesn’t have an answer about whether they’ll be taking their relationship to the next level. She’s going full court press on this one: she wants Kerwin to move out here, buy a house with her, and live happily ever after. Kerwin’s not so sure. Is Jaa still on the back burner? Tonya says no. Is Kerwin just Tonya’s second choice? Maybe so. As for Tonya, she wonders where she stands too. Is she the mistress? Kerwin is, after all, in a relationship with some unsuspecting woman back home. One thing’s for sure: this “relationship” is happening, for the most part, in Tonya’s head at the moment. #KerwinKluster

Hoping to bond with Briana over baby-talk, Jasmine meets her out for lunch to dish. Briana admits she thought she was pregnant and is disappointed not to be. Jasmine wonders if Briana’s “fertility issues” are due to the extreme stress she’s put herself in with this whole Matt-versus-Briana’s-family drama. Jasmine assures her she has her best interests at heart, but she understands the girls’ concerns about Briana’s estrangement from her family. Claiming she’s too emotionally “fragile” to discuss this topic anymore, Briana shuts down the family conversation immediately. She appreciates her honesty, but refuses to hear it. Just as she refuses to hear every other person in her life whose concerns are heart felt and legitimate.     

In another attempt at light hearted fun gone awry, Jasmine and Terra go rollerblading. Jasmine biffs it sidelong into a curb. And Terra drops head first over a sidewalk crack. That’s gonna bruise up later! Dayum! Why do these ladies beat their bodies up so badly!? For the sake of the show? My 5-year old daughter’s gym teacher sent home a note last week that the kindergartners were “so excited to start their rollerblading unit soon!” and “could you please send a helmet along with them to school?” Cue to me searching frantically for knee pads, elbow pads, human sized bubble-wrap, ace bandages, ice packs, mapping out routes to the closest ER on my iPhone, mentally suing the school…you know, the usual! Little people plus roller blades (at least to me!) = panic. Jasmine says it’s a bonus, though! They don’t have as far to fall. Mmmmmmkay. 

They manage to have fun despite their mishaps, then sit down to talk about Jasmine’s dreams of more plastic surgery. Terra isn’t into it; she likes herself the way she is. Good on her! For all of Terra’s faults, I do love that about her. Conversation turns to Briana, who’s not only estranged from her family, but from most of her friends at this point. Jasmine fears Briana is distancing herself from her as well, so she plans to back off on the family talk. She doesn’t want to lose her friend. 

In a much less physically active moment, Todd is at home playing video games. After Christy convinces him to back sloooowly away from the game, she confronts him about his weight for the 100th time. She’s worried about adopting a child, and how Todd may deter their chances of being chosen as adoptive parents due to his health issues. He can barely walk to the car without sweating and huffing and puffing, says Christy, and she fears he’s going to drop dead – with or without a child. 

Christy wants Todd to get gastric bypass surgery. Todd’s scared to go under anesthesia though, as little people have extra issues when going under for surgery. But Christy is adamant. She wants him to take her seriously. Todd promises to “look into it,” but isn’t willing to commit to the idea until he gathers more information from a doctor about the risks. More concerning is how they can never get on the same page about anything – kids, weight, the future – says Todd. He thinks counseling is more in order than gastric bypass right now. Christy’s face says “WTF!?” but her mouth says, “Ok, if that’s what you want to do, I’ll do it.” Ooh. The tables have turned. Didn’t think you’d be the one on the hot seat, Christy! #ToddIsAJediMaster 


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