Little Women: LA recap - Christy

Is it just me, or has this been the most exhausting season of Little Women: LA yet? We are on episode sixteen, for fudge’s sake! Thank goodness, next week is the season 5 finale, after which Kevin Frazier will return to lay down the smack on certain cast members (Christy McGinity and Terra Jole) during the 2-part reunion.

After last week’s Casino Night exploded like a dirty bomb in everyone’s faces, Christy is hell bent on getting back “in” with the group. But it’s too little, too late for Briana Renee and Terra, who can’t even stomach the sight of their former friend on a “survivalist retreat” that Tonya Banks delusionally organizes. Terra is more concerned about meeting her partner for Dancing With The Stars, who she suddenly laments will be taller than her. Ya think!?

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After Tonya gets called a “mother f–ker” by Thing 2 in Christy’s posse, Casino Night’s peacemaking mission is officially dunzo. Tonya hangs in there, however, trying to convince Christy one last time that she needs to apologize for a long, long list of missteps she’d made throughout the past months. Christy would rather “prove” her case though. Which is not the way to fix things. Exhausted, Elena Gant would rather be home with her babies than attending this clown show. She’s straight up sick of defending Christy.

Before this pathetic night ends, Christy does apologize to Tonya for her bad behavior. Tonya accepts. Jasmine Sorge says that it’s all well and good for Christy to apologize to Tonya, but what about her major issues with Terra and Briana? Those chicks are not playing! But they also aren’t taking any ownership of their equal parts in this situation. Of course, Jasmine doesn’t mention this salient point.

Out to lunch, Terra shares her DWTS news with Tonya, who’s all: Heffa, I wanted to do DWTS! But she is happy for her friend…as long as Terra wears Tonya’s active wear during rehearsals. Tonya fills Terra in on Casino Night, then Terra admits she does want to move on with Christy. Not as friends, mind you! But as silent enemies who can coexist on camera. Tonya suggests a “survivalist retreat” to help them bond. This is not the worst idea producers Tonya has ever had, but it’s damn near.

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Christy is out shooting pool with her sober friend, Laurie. She’s coming up on her 7-year sobriety anniversary, and is proud of herself – despite the rumors Briana and Terra are spreading that she’s popping pills. Christy doesn’t feel tempted to relapse due to the drama, but she does hold out hope that they’ll all be friends again one day. Laurie tries to get Christy to see the light: These women don’t want to be your friends! But Christy still wants to apologize to Terra and Briana in an effort to do the impossible. She just can’t accept that the damage is done – on all sides – and might be irreparable.

In the alternate universe where Terra and Joe Gnoffo  act like they enjoy hanging out with Briana and Matt Ericson [Grundhoffer], the two couples meet out for drinks. Terra shares her DWTS news yet again, saying she wants to be taken seriously on the show. Briana snarks in her confessional that SHE was supposed to be on that show last year, but whatever! “I’m really happy for her,” she deadpans. Sure. Just like Terra is really happy you married that human sewage pile you’re sitting next to!

Briana still harbors delusions that Christy is behind all of the legal drama with her publicist, and Terra vows that she’ll never have “a kumbaya moment” with Christy. But she does want the group to settle down for the sake of their paychecks, so they all need to be willing to attend this survivalist retreat for the good of the order.

Out shopping for wilderness gear, Jasmine and and Elena get skeeved out by the prospect of this trip. “This is like a store for criminals!” Elena hilariously comments, picking up some handcuffs, then turning her nose up at basically everything else. Elena and Jasmine want peace among the group, too, but know that it’s not up to them. They just hope Christy leaves the cray-cray behind for once. #DreamOn

Back at Terra’s house, she’s talking to Joe and Tonya about her DWTS fears. Her partner is coming over to meet her, and Terra is nervous about their height difference. Is she going to bond with her partner? Or will he just think she is a joke? Sasha Farber rings the doorbell, and cheers when he sees Terra open it, putting all of her fears to rest. They hug, then visit for a bit to discuss their season ahead. Sasha will have to modify his steps, since Terra has to take two steps for every average-sized one. He’s never met a little person before, but already has some good ideas for how they’ll make it work. And we know that they do indeed make it work!

Meanwhile, Christy is trying to make it work at the treadmill store. She’s been on a journey to lose weight for some time now, but hubby Todd’s weight is the real concern. He’s legitimately obese, and his health is in jeopardy. Christy hasn’t ever seen and “old, fat little person” and she still lives in fear that Todd’s going to drop dead. She’s also scared that Briana will never forgive her, so she hopes she can still somehow make things right. Christy’s friendship with Briana runs deep, and she’s planning on doing whatever she can do at the retreat to salvage what’s left of it.

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Time for some Cabin In The Woods bonding time! Joel, the survival instructor, greets them and immediately gives them the bad news: There are no toilets here. So, get squatting, ladies! Christy tries to blend in with the group, but Terra’s cold shoulder immediately sets her on edge. Joel wonders what their goals are for the day? Elena naively says they want to reconnect. Tonya looks like she wants to use a lifeline. Or phone a friend. Lil’ Boss is taking one for the team as the architect of this adventure, for sure.

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When Joel asks who wants to team with whom, Terra states that “because of legal action,” she will NOT be paired with Christy! Briana doesn’t want to be with her either. Christy’s like, meh, whatevs. The ladies are paired off to tie sticks together in teams of two: Jasmine, Elena, and Christy versus Briana, Terra, and Tonya. This is not exactly the “bonding” scenario Tonya was hoping for.

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Over on Tonya’s team, Terra says the legal stuff ruined her opinion of Christy forever. Briana also says there’s no hope for a reconciliation with her. She feels betrayed, and Christy is no longer welcome in any part of her life.

When the teams reconvene as a large group, Joel wants the girls to rub mud on each other. But Briana and Terra are still whiny babies about being teamed with Christy. So Tonya and Christy pair off in the end, getting their mud rub on in peace.

As a last resort, Joel suggests they all write down their issues, then burn them up in the fire later as a way of letting go of their resentments. Terra thinks they’ll all have issues being honest about their feelings, which is strange coming from a woman who rages “her truth” in anyone’s face without hesitation.

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Later on in their ring of fire exercise, Tonya reads her letter. It can basically be summed up thusly: I may be a b*tch, but y’all are crazier b*tches! She throws it into the fire and laughs. Christy is up next. She reads a letter to Briana about “a lot of hurt” that’s happened on both of their ends, then launches into an admission of breaking her trust. She then says that Terra just doesn’t care, and has “poked” her relentlessly, finally admitting she’s felt very alone this season. Into the fire goes her letter too.

Briana’s like, Where’s the apology here? She feels Christy is still just playing victim. Briana also delusionally thinks she has no part to play in this mess, which is simply pitiful. She explains that what Christy did with her family hurt her deeply, then basically asks for an apology on the spot. Christy says she’s sorry, but “I can’t control your family being a$$holes!” since she didn’t know Briana’s family would go to the press after she contacted them (while Briana was in the hospital). This is not exactly the apology Briana was looking for. But it’s kind of the one she deserves, in some respects.

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Christy maintains that she only contacted Briana’s parents because she truly cared about her friend. “Did you tell them about Plastic too?” asks Briana. Christy doesn’t answer, just reiterating that she’s sorry for contacting them, period. But she can’t control that they “went psycho” on Briana afterward. Briana hears the apology, but can’t forgive Christy. Elena doesn’t buy this “tough girl” act from Briana, who she knows is sensitive. Why is she fronting so much? Elena wonders. (Hmm. Could it be due to a certain person in Briana’s life who’s name starts with an “M” and rhymes with A$$ Hat?)

Moving on to her beef with Terra, Christy still maintains she was legitimately hurt in the bar fight. That’s not the issue though. Terra says she was ready to apologize the very next day, until she got a call saying that Christy had filed a police report against her. That’s when she “went into combat mode.” Concussion or not, the police report ended any chance of a trusting friendship these two women could have. It’s not about the fight; it’s about the aftermath of the fight. But Christy does not – or will not – understand this bottom line issue.

Terra does want to move on, but plainly states that she will never be Christy’s friend again. Elena thinks Briana could bring herself to forgive Christy one day, but that Terra is influencing her to stand her ground.

Terra reads her letter last, which is (of course!) directed toward Christy. She finally vows to not call Christy “Crusty” anymore, admitting it was immature and done out of anger. She also wants the group to be okay, no matter what ongoing issues simmer between Christy and her. Tonya says that Terra’s heart is just broken, and it may take a long time to heal. But Christy isn’t okay with this – she wants peace now! What Christy doesn’t understand is that all the whining in the world won’t get her there.

TELL US: IS BRIANA BEING INFLUENCED BY TERRA TO NOT FORGIVE CHRISTY? OR IS MATT BEHIND HER STUBBORN ATTITUDE? IS CHRISTY DEMANDING TOO MUCH FROM HER FORMER FRIENDS, OR DOES SHE DESERVE ANOTHER CHANCE? 

Photo Credit: Lifetime

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