Kelly & Vicki

Kelly Dodd never fails to crush an opportunity to rise to the top! Most of us were on her side when Meghan Edmonds claimed Kelly attacked her by accusing Jimmy Dad Jeans of cheating yet failed to mention that she initially accused Kelly of having a boyfriend, but then Kelly undid all her Brownie points by trotting out a rusty ol’Gretchen Christine, Queen Plastine, to further rumors that Eddie Judge is secretly gay.

And even worse, Kelly did all of this to try and sell the idea that Vicki Gunvalson isn’t responsible for the mean and erroneous things she says. Dang does it stab me in the heart to have to even loosely defend Tamra Judge on anything (but I’m doing this for Eddie you guys! It’s like my version of bathroom porn, or something).

Anyway, in her Real Housewives Of Orange County blog, Kelly thanks Lydia for defending her to “MEghan,” defends defending Vicki, and rightfully, calls out Peggy Sulahian‘s phony stupidity routine.

First up, Kelly’s ranty take on “MEghan” and Lydia’s hike over the abyss! And just as Kelly didn’t allow Meghan to use being pregnant as an excuse for the affair text, Kelly doesn’t give Meghan a pass for “whatever psychotic, delusional, hormonal paranoia” she blames for the fight with Lydia. Instead, Kelly diagnoses Meghan, “A very thirsty whack job.”

Nor does Kelly back off from questioning Meghan’s mothering and points out that most mothers “do so without the benefits of the privileged life MEghan enjoys. As Tamra said previously, ‘drink your champagne and cry me a river’. Apparently, per MEghan, she cannot handle the ’emotional burden of a newborn.’”

“I personally have never heard any of my girlfriends claim their baby was an emotional burden. What the hell? What else is going on here?” Kelly asks. “Are there issues in her marriage that are causing her to stress and act out? Is that why she complains Jimmy is never around? No wonder Jimmy isn’t home, instead of dealing with all of her drama, Jimmy ships her off to the OC to annoy the locals.”

During the hike, Kelly was “shocked to see MEghan get flustered and play the victim of our affair text exchange yet again.”

“Such nonsense,” she complains of Meghan denial that she is innocent. “I was not going to let her get away with it. I definitely retaliated by disclosing that I had heard from a mutual friend of ours, that Jimmy had been having an affair for 10 years, including the time he has been with MEghan. That apparently hit too close to home.” Yes, Kelly… harbinger of truth. Oh wait, that’s supposed to be Meghan’s role (#SuchNonsense).

Kelly also reminds us that Meghan “perpetuated” the lie Kelly attacked her for no reason by mentioning it to Vicki over lunch. The same lunch where Meghan “unbelievably” told Vicki not to perpetuate rumors about Eddie. “What a hypocrite!” scoffs Kelly.

“Clearly MEghan just wants to stir shit up,” Kelly continues (agreed). “Even if it means airing and calling into question Jimmy’s alleged indiscretions. She must have thought her original disclosure to Vicki, and then to the ladies at drag queen bingo, lacked impact and didn’t garner her the sympathy she was seeking. So, she then tries with Lydia to sell her story in a more dramatic way, with righteous indignation and crocodile tears.”

RELATED – TAMRA SAYS VICKI IS ADDICTED TO BEING MEAN

Kelly warns: “Lydia is no dummy. Don’t let Lydia’s polyanna persona, rainbows, and fairy dust fool you. A lesser person would have caved to MEghan’s emotional blackmail. Kudos to Lydia for having the guts to stand her ground, correct MEghan and stand up for what she believes to be true.”

Kelly also has many questions and qualifications for her feelings about Eddie’s sexual orientation. Oh goody!

Tamra’s reaction to people questioning Eddie’s sexuality makes absolutely no sense to me, unless infidelity is involved,” Kelly asserts, “which, as I understand the timing of things, for Tamra and Eddie, isn’t the case. I don’t understand why Tamra is so indignant about the rumor that Eddie is gay. What’s her agenda here? Does she just want to use that as an excuse to continue to ostracize Vicki? Really?” I say yes, and no on that one!

Kelly insists she “doesn’t judge” Eddie and “doesn’t care” if he’s gay or not, but then she goes ahead and suggests that perhaps there is a reason these rumors keep popping up! Like when Eddie joked about only being gay on Tuesdays. Or, “When Eddie imitates giving a bj with a Popsicle, it’s just tongue in cheek, right? If Eddie wants to ‘sword fight’ with guys, ‘no girls allowed’, go ahead, have fun. I don’t care what happens in the privacy of a couple’s bedroom as long as all parties involved are consenting adults. Eddie seems like a great guy, he loves Tamra and treats her well. Most importantly, he makes her happy.”

Kelly then accuses Tamra of allowing Shannon and Meghan to discourage her making amends with Vicki. “Immediately, Vicki is verbally dismissed and Tamra is pressured not to fraternize. They have to stay a cohesive unit. To borrow from our future Viking theme, there can be no chinks in the armor. No wavering. No breaking ranks.”

Kelly is annoyed by Peggy’s pretend clueless immigrant act. Somebody is a fan of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, eh. “What I don’t understand is how the hell Peggy was accepted to and graduated from ULCA as an English major, when I couldn’t get in?” Kelly then advises any UCLA English students to “Change majors immediately!!!! God forbid that, after you graduate, you won’t understand that bad kids get lumps of coal in their Christmas stockings, or that bears really do shit in the woods. Live by my mantra…C’s get degrees!”

“Just keep watching. It gets worse, and funnier, you’ll see,” Kelly hints.

Finally Kelly mentions Shannon and David’s terse emotional discussion about the state of their marriage. You know, literally the only thing they EVER talk about! “I feel for her, for them, and their family,” Kelly shares. “Shannon has a sweet, wonderful soul and I want her to know I am always here for her.” Well that’s something.

TELL US – IS TAMRA OVER-REACTING TO THE EDDIE RUMORS? DO YOU THINK PEGGY IS FAKING? IS MEGHAN TRYING TO PLAY VICTIM?

[Photo Credit: Bravo]

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