Tom was loitering, casually constructed behind the bar at SUR, when a trainwreck of botched lip implants and an immobile face appeared before him! He jumped; he recoiled in horror. No, not because he saw who it was – Annemarie from Miami – but because she ordered a Cosmo (is this Sex And the City circa 2002?!) – then he bolted. From her vantage point across the restaurant, perfectly positioned so she could witness the showdown while guzzling wine, Kristen leapt from her seat and went running after him. This wasn’t supposed to happen – Tom was supposed to run TOWARDS Kristen, not away from SUR.
So now that we’ve set the scene, let’s rewind – Lord knows I did a lot of that last night to catch every wimple of drama.
Tonight’s episode of Vanderpump Rules is when all the crazy breaks free from its tenuous grip on sane-ish behavior and explodes. Kristen Doute has schemed and conspired to out Tom Sandoval as a cheater and the woman he supposedly cheated with in Miami will confront him on camera.
Way back when – in March of last year – Tom went to Miami with Jax Taylor and Tom Schwartz where he allegedly hooked-up with AnnemarieKunkel, a self-described receptionist from NYC, (photo above) who claims she had no idea the boys were on reality TV. Poor Annemarie was so innocent and sweet, she then sold her hook-up story to a tabloid. Then, of course, she found Kristen on instagram to try and get some attention. Well, her hard work paid off!
Last night on Real Housewives Of Atlanta no one wanted to grow up as they took good old fashioned road trips, flirted with the football players, and relived their glory days at Ridgemont High on the last day of senior year. Also, Cynthia Bailey wore a stupid hat in every scene. Are her edges thinning too?!
NeNe Leakes gets picked up at the airport by Greggum, her basement troll clamoring into the sunshine for the first time in weeks, sadly it’s an overcast day and he’s forced to linger in the parking garage until he catches sight of the shiny ring. Still – it is human contact! NeNe reflects on Puerto Rico and acknowledges that maaaaaaybe her comments to Claudia Jordan were crass and terrible, so she apologized. An apology Claudia did not want to take.
Then NeNe tells us her life used to be a Lifetime Movie and she worked her way through college stripping – basically living Kyle Richards’ dream as played by Tori Spelling circa 1992. Let’s just say, NeNe skipped English 101 in favor of studying Human Sexuality, which is how she knows about the amazing transitive powers of Clawdia’s clit.
NeNe Leakes is about to take her “Girl, bye.” phrase to court (no, it’s not cause Cynthia is filing for divorce)! According to “Black-owned family business” Tees in the Trap, a company that creates tees referencing pop culture and the “urban girl experience,” NeNe lifted their slogan and their t-shirt design, but then issued them a Cease & Desist letter for infringing on her territory! Oh dear.
NeNe became known for using the phrase “Girl, bye” on Real Housewives Of Atlanta, but this season she decided to expand on her vernacular by creating a line of tees that features all of NeNe’s “infamous” sayings – “Girl, bye.” included.
Unfortunately Tees in the Trap was already producing a tee that looks remarkably similar to what NeNe has brought to the market. They claim NeNe spotted one of THEIR tees in an Atlanta retailer – she was even photographed wearing it (see below) – and decided to co-opt the idea for herself! Then NeNe trademarked the phrase and is now demanding Tees in the Trap stop using it. Oh dear.
Farrah just unveiled her new boyfriend – at the same time she unleashed her blowup doll on the world (let’s hope he’s with the right model). Farrah’s new man is 26-year-old Simon Saran, a real estate agent from San Diego.
Eileen Davidson knows from many years of experience on soap operas that it’s best to keep your distance when dealing with a psychotic uber-villain, a family drama, or a former celebrity on a bender. But unfortunately she accidentally welcomed that mayhem in her home!
“Vincent and I thought it would be fun and different to have a poker tournament with the ladies,” explains the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills star. “We’ve done parties like this before, and it really can be such a good time…so much for that. Vincent tried so hard to keep things light and fun, but the wheels started falling off the bus right away.”
Gia says the Real Housewives Of New Jersey star is “doing amazing,” contrary to reports that Teresa is being bullied and ostracized by fellow inmates. Gia confirms they have visited Teresa, and adds that she “chats and emails with her all the time.”