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Good lord – in reality TV world a divorce last longer than a marriage! The latest couple who can never resolve their differences whether in holy matrimony or bitter divorce is Adrienne Maloof and Paul Nassif

The former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills stars finalized their divorce last year and despite contentious arguing and unfounded abuse claims finally came to a 50/50 custody agreement. However, some of the particulars are still being debated. Adrienne and Paul's 11-year-old son Gavin has been the subject of the latest family court drama. 

Gavin reportedly has "some learning and attention issues" so Adrienne and Paul were arguing about where he should attend school. Adrienne, says TMZ, wanted him to continue in his regular school yet receive special attention. But Paul preferred to send him to a school that specialized in learning disabilities. 

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Joe Gorga Melissa Gorga

Hmmm… well color me surprised! Last year Melissa and Joe Gorga listed their Montville mansion for $3.8 million dollars. Some reports speculated they were having financial troubles and had to move, other sources claimed they were illegally living in a "spec house" built to promote Joe's business and were responsible for sudden mortgage hikes if they didn't sell the property. 

Melissa herself said she wanted to move so her kids didn't go to the same school as Teresa Giudice's children. Despite being told by realtor Jennifer Dalton that the house wasn't worth $3.8 – especially with the faux marble sink that collapsed during an open house, the Real Housewives of New Jersey stars told Us Weekly they just sold the place for full asking price!  Um… right…. I'll believe it when it closes and I see the bill of sale!

"I feel like this was meant to be. It happened just in time for the kids to start their first of day of school," Melissa gushed.

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phaedra porsha

Wanna know what Real Housewives of Atlanta would be like if it were for-real scripted television? You may be able to find out soon! 

Phaedra Parks' life may be getting made into a musical movie. A screenplay was submitted to the U.S. Patent Office which denotes a "screenplay/script" for a "Dramatic Work and Music; Cinematography". The U.S. Copyright office commented that "Deposit contains text of treatment/outline only”. 

Hopefully it hasn't been written by Phaedra's biggest fan Angela Stanton! The author of the treatment is not Phaedra and may be an "unauthorized screenplay" according to LA LATE. Phaedra is currently suing Angela for defamation over the book Lies Of A Real Housewife in which Angela accuses Phaedra (without any proof) of being a criminal mastermind behind an autotheft ring. 

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Vicki_Brooks-Facebook

Dang, don't mess with a grifter's game! Brooks Ayers had a pretty sweet gig as the affirmation swilling boyfriend of sugarmama Vicki Gunvalson

Unfortunately everyone saw Brooks' true colors but the Real Housewives of Orange County star who finally wised up (after he reportedly caused her to be sued) and dumped Brooks! Now it seems horrific details of their increasingly volatile and frightening relationship will be aired during the third installment of the RHOC reunion where Brooks will make an appearance! 

Vicki and Brooks' relationship seemed increasingly sketchy this season as he was pressuring her with ultimatums and odd emotional manipulations. Vicki often seemed desperate around Brooks, who last season was bending over backwards to flatter and woo her. 

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samantha-orme-below-deck

Is there anyone on the cast of Below Deck who doesn't have a mugshot?

​Last week, C.J. Lebeau was arrested for assault and this week it emerges that his fling Samantha "Sam" Orme has a record herself! Way back in 2006 when she had just a budding dream of being a rocket scientist and sending Adrienne into space for insubordination #sarcasm, Sam got popped for a DUI. 

Sam was arrested in Tallahassee, Florida while she was an undergrad at Florida State University. Sam was 18 at the time and got caught using a fake ID and driving drunksee! 

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rhom-adriana-lea

I just can't figure out what's going on with Real Housewives of Miami. It's like in a desperate bid to be as good as all the other shows, they scrambled to switch everything up – giving me no sense of security here.

On top of that, I think I'm Weddings by Bravo'd out. I mean on top of Tamra Barney and NeNe Leakes' big spinoffs we're now inundated with Adriana de Moura and Joanna Krupa planning weddings and bickering about weddings and out-weddings each other and weddings, weddings, weddings… Maybe we can just pull a Sister Wives, lump all the Bravo brides together, and throw them with one man. I nominate Andy Cohen to be tied to these broads for life. Payback's a bitch!

So last night Joanna and Romain Zago had the big talk. You know, the prenup one. In a pseudo intimate moment in which Joanna's minimalist makeup was applied to perfection, they had breakfast in bed and argued, over freshly cut fruit, that Romain was going into wedding planning by planning his divorce. Um… he's agreeing to marry JOANNA. 

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Bravo Events - 2013

It seems Melissa Gorga changes her stories faster than she changes her lipgloss. I mean, one minute Jan is her BFF and they were in each other's weddings and the cheating allegation is the ultimate betrayal. And in the next minute, like in her recent blog, they were only friends for like a hot second 300 years ago. 

So that means one of two things: Melissa didn't have any real-real friends to stack her bridal party with or she's lying about the nature of her relationship with Jan! Whatever the case, like all things Real Housewives of New Jersey, it doesn't add up! 

According to our source Melissa is intent on continuing the "victim act" at all costs. "She just wants to blame Teresa for everything," our source tells us exclusively. "Melissa really needs a story line." What – you mean writing a marriage bible and staging a J. Faux pop star career isn't enough?! <gasp>

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rhoc-reunion-2-recap

Oh the tears of a Real Housewife. As legit as beachfront property in Arizona. Last night on the second installment of the Real Housewives of Orange County reunion it was Gretchen Rossi's turn to crumple face without tears. 

I dunno what you call that sort of cry where no liquid emanates? I mean is it all the botox? At the very least I would expect wine to come out 'cause all they consume is wine. Well, that and bulls#*!. 

So much happened last night – where to begin… 

Well, let's all get this out of the way: Alexis Bellino talked about JIM BLOB's man part. It was the most awkward 2 minutes of television ever! She tripped and stumbled over a forced non sequitur about how he wears a size 14 shoe if you know what she's saying… EW! So that's how things started and if you can believe it they went downhill from there! 

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