Was everyone watching the same Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion I was last season? You remember the one where Melissa Gorga tearfully dabbed at her eyes with a sequined sleeve and told Andy Cohen they were selling their Montville mansion so her daughter wouldn't be bullied at school by Teresa Giudice's wayward band of hoodlum children?
Just checking because apparently now that's not the case. Apparently now Melissa and Joe Gorga are moving to avoid rush hour traffic or something and because they bought some oceanfront property in Arizona to lovingly construct their next zillion-dollar, impeccably finished mansion. Joe – little tip: this time skip the plastic sinks. Teresa's in debt maybe she can sell you some of her marble vanities.
Last week everyone was talking about Krayonce getting evicted!
While the Real Housewives of Atlanta star was "out of town" the Sheriff's office was spotted serving her with an eviction notice on her doorstep and demanding she vacate the property. Kenya had three-days to respond to the notice. Kenya's landlord also filed a suit for unpaid rent.
Kenya's landlord, Coya Weems-Dillon contacted us and revealed that this is the second time Kenya has almost been Gone With The Wind Homeless, but last time she paid up at the very last minute and Coya couldn't boot her out!
Well now it seems Kenya is at it again! She insists her rent for May/June is paid-in-full and filed a countersuit for wrongful eviction, slander, and emotional distress. Um… seriously?
I'm sure the Mexican government is bogged down with the drug war, but they also need to turn their attentions to a more pressing issue: The Battle For Tamra Barney. I predict a full-fledged blonde extensions tearing, botox rearranging, wine bottle throwing, Gretchen Christine Plastic Sack swinging, stiletto stabbing, lip gloss jabbing, boob job deflating battle on next week's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County. Get the popcorn ready!
On last night's episode the ladies remained in Mexico to terrorize the locals. Vicki Gunvalson decided it was high time she reasserted herself as the true BFF of Tamra, so she smuggled her out to a Mexican bar and forced her to woodenly shake her butt on the bar like they were 20. You can just call her Vicki FUNvalson!
Oh ladies… Grannies Gone Wild! Poor Lydia McLauglin, forced into light-up Minnie Mouse ears that were leftovers from a Disney on Ice performance in the area, didn't even look like she was having fun but was putting on a drunk act to fit in.
Like twoseconds after the scandal broke, the Real Housewives of Orange County star's twitter and facebook conveniently disappeared. Well now Vicki is insisting her social media was hacked. A likely story… #WeDontBelieveYou
Last June Daniellealleged her liabilities at $1.9M and her income of only $63,791 in 2011. She earned $13,791 from her work with Dial-A-Star (HA!) and $50,000 for winning the massive reality TV flop Famous Food. Danielle owes Nordstrom a few thousand dollars and is in hot water with the IRS for $111,161. Does anyone in Jersey pay taxes?!
She also owes $70,000 to the town of Wayne NJ because of unpaid property taxes! $5,162 to the New Jersey Taxation Department (whomever that is?) and a whole slew of money to lawyers and "communication experts." Is Danny on the list? I'm guessing low-budg sextapes and stripper antics don't cover the cost of paying PIs to dig up dirt on all your RHONJ co-stars!
Tamra Barney's wedding spinoff is getting both a name and a premiere date. Lucky us!
It's clear whomever usually comes up with the titles for these shows was on vacation (or hates Tamra too) because according to the Bravo press release the "limited run, three-part series" will be called "Tamra's OC Wedding". How creative!
Premiering on Sept 2nd Tamra and Eddie Judge will get three episodes to show off their love before being relegated back to the loser ensemble cast category. That is strangely reassuring because it means Bravo definitely has no plans to do a full-time Tamra show!
On last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey the Gorgadice battle continued, although the small beginnings of a peace treaty seemed to have been forged. Maybe…
Things begin in Casa de Giudice. Teresa Giudice is cooking while wrangling four screaming girls. Apparently there is some confustion (Teresa tawk) about who is actually the mama because while Milania is playing on the stove terrorizing some peppers, Gia is lecturing her about safety. Teresa meanwhile is flitting around in full hair and makeup yelling, "O.M.G!"
Teresa says she always reminds her girls to stick together and not end up married to men their siblings hate. Then she gives them a lecture on table manners. 1) Like, don't scream 'prostitution whore' unless the person really is a prostitution whore and has been engaged like 19 times! Like O.M.G!