Poor Kris Jenner wants everyone to know she's not the evil pimp momager we think she is!
Speaking to Joan Rivers on In Bed With Joan, Krisadmits to being devastated when the news of Kim Kardashian's sex tape with then-boyfriend Ray J leaked.
"I literally fell apart," the Keeping Up With The Kardashians mom admits. “I cried myself to sleep. I don't think anything can prepare you for something like that when it comes to your daughter."
Kris said that she withdrew for a few days before deciding to be strong for Kim and her whole family. And thus the Kardashian kingdom was born. Thank goodness for serendipity I suppose… "I'm somewhat a religious person – and I keep that to myself," Kris says. Lest you forget she owns a church… "So I live a certain way and I feel a certain way and I pray for my kids everyday. I'm so in love with my family life; and that hits me, you know, up the side of the head and I literally fell apart."
You know, I gotta hand it to NeNe Leakes she has learned from her mistakes and grown from them. Case in point, last season she gave Kenya Moore a chance but she has since seen the error of her ways and is henceforth intolerant of such "foolishness"! You and me both, Ms. Leakes!
Getting down to the business of things like say, Chamber of Commerce parties, Yolanda wonders what Kyle Richards' motives for cozying up to Lisa Vanderpump are especially since Kyle doesn't seem to think too kindly of her former friend.
"It’s nice to see Kyle in her store and working to succeed in the Beverly Hills business world. It didn’t seem like she quite understood the purpose of the Beverly Hills Chamber of Commerce," Yolanda begins in her Bravo Blog.
"There are so many catering services in this town. The fact that she is choosing to hire Lisa’s restaurant, SUR, to do her party is once again a clear example of first degree ass kissing and maybe the greatest lie of all! Even her own daughter is pointing this out to her. What kind of message does that send to her children? She belittles Lisa and then turns around and pretends nothing ever happened. It’s all so fake and confusing to me." O-U-C-H.
Last nightJoanna Krupa made it down the aisle on Real Housewives of Miami, but not without some serious hijinks! Like oversleeping, missing her flight, and ending up on a cheeseball pseudo-dramatic roadtrip to San Diego with Lea Black driving like a bitch out of hell.
After the epic bachelorette party, Joanna leaps out of bed in full makeup only to learn that she's tragically late. She rouses the other girls, whose lack of artifice make me think that perhaps they really did over-sleep. Lisa Hochstein and Joanna have forgiven each other for their drunken whore-gument the night before. Lisa is passed out on the floor or something and has no recollection of storming off the party bus after humping the open bar. Which is for the best.
Everyone scrambles to get ready, choose the perfect accessories and 6" heels for travel, while Lea actually arranges said travel. They end up renting an SUV, getting stranded in the dessert when Fembot needs to stop to vomit up nuts, bolts, and silicone and Adriana de Moura attempts to pee against the wind in a flowy maxi dress and some serious stripper heels. Again, who wears that on a ROAD TRIP. It's called JEANS. Well at least everyone is having fun, not taking things too seriously, and joking about the drunken antics.
Last night was the season premiere of Vanderpump Rules. Everyone on this show needs a Lysol bath and a therapist for their narcissism.
Stassi Schroeder, Princess of Booze, Bitchiness, and Over-inflated Egos, has not changed one bit! She is now on a quest for world domination, something she plans to write the POTUS about. Stassi wants to make it a law that she has a pet zombie. I thought Jax Taylor was her pet zombie?
Jax is still in loooourve with Stassi, but doing everything humanly (and zombie-ly) possible to screw it up. All Jax's groveling and begging her dad for forgiveness doesn't count if he's still planning on dipping his wick in the non-insane bitch ladies pool!
Other than JaxAssi acting JaxAssi-ish, Scheana Marie has gone full-fledged SWF nutty! Let's talk about her, shall we? In the off-season Scheana has devoted every moment of her life to worshippingLisa Vanderpump and replacing Brandi as the object of Lisa's maternal affections. Can't Giggy have a baby already? Scheana has also decided Pandora is her BFF – and even better, they share a birthday.
Last night was the season premiere of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Not much has changed since last season except for the fact that Lisa Vanderpump is being given the bitch edit. Or she's become a bitch? Or always was one? Whatever – things are odd so far!
Kyle Richards and Lisa spend the whole episode playing tit-for-tat and throwing shady covert digs at each other that are kind of diggy and kind of funny and definitely fake as the boobs in the ol' BH.
Things begin with Yolanda Foster chaperoning daughter GiGi's modeling shoot. GiGi is gorgeous and Yolanda could not be more proud. A fact she expresses by reminding GiGi that all the dieting and exercising has paid off. Yolanda is still rocking last season's outfit and the same set of natty extensions. You own a private plane – get better hair! I should cut the lady some slack, she has been battling lyme disease.
Not getting any slack from me is Kyle. Good ol' Splits! She's adding business woman to her resume because Kaftans Too For Me & You or whatever the H-E-Double-Hockeysticks her shop is called is now getting the attention of the Beverly Hills Chamber of Commerce. They want Kyle to join, presumably because the country club needs new robes and she has a bunch in stock.
Since Joanna is trying to be nice she invited the entire RHOM crew, including Adriana de Moura. There were strict instructions that Adriana had to be on sedatives. Adriana's half-hearted apology to Lea Black didn't really patch things up, so they too still have an awkward tension.
Lisa is thrilled to be getting away form Lenny 'cause they're having issues and she needs to let loose and get drunk. Fembot's adventures in Vegas are a recipe for disaster! First of all, Joanna makes all the ladies fly coach, which is hilarious. Lea is scrambling to stuff one of her 6000 purses in the carry-on hold and seems on the brink of meltdown. I swear Lisa probably almost missed the flight sprinting through the airport looking for an ATM when she realized you had to pay for booze in coach!