I'm sure the Mexican government is bogged down with the drug war, but they also need to turn their attentions to a more pressing issue: The Battle For Tamra Barney. I predict a full-fledged blonde extensions tearing, botox rearranging, wine bottle throwing, Gretchen Christine Plastic Sack swinging, stiletto stabbing, lip gloss jabbing, boob job deflating battle on next week's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County. Get the popcorn ready!
On last night's episode the ladies remained in Mexico to terrorize the locals. Vicki Gunvalson decided it was high time she reasserted herself as the true BFF of Tamra, so she smuggled her out to a Mexican bar and forced her to woodenly shake her butt on the bar like they were 20. You can just call her Vicki FUNvalson!
Oh ladies… Grannies Gone Wild! Poor Lydia McLauglin, forced into light-up Minnie Mouse ears that were leftovers from a Disney on Ice performance in the area, didn't even look like she was having fun but was putting on a drunk act to fit in.
Like twoseconds after the scandal broke, the Real Housewives of Orange County star's twitter and facebook conveniently disappeared. Well now Vicki is insisting her social media was hacked. A likely story… #WeDontBelieveYou
Last June Daniellealleged her liabilities at $1.9M and her income of only $63,791 in 2011. She earned $13,791 from her work with Dial-A-Star (HA!) and $50,000 for winning the massive reality TV flop Famous Food. Danielle owes Nordstrom a few thousand dollars and is in hot water with the IRS for $111,161. Does anyone in Jersey pay taxes?!
She also owes $70,000 to the town of Wayne NJ because of unpaid property taxes! $5,162 to the New Jersey Taxation Department (whomever that is?) and a whole slew of money to lawyers and "communication experts." Is Danny on the list? I'm guessing low-budg sextapes and stripper antics don't cover the cost of paying PIs to dig up dirt on all your RHONJ co-stars!
Tamra Barney's wedding spinoff is getting both a name and a premiere date. Lucky us!
It's clear whomever usually comes up with the titles for these shows was on vacation (or hates Tamra too) because according to the Bravo press release the "limited run, three-part series" will be called "Tamra's OC Wedding". How creative!
Premiering on Sept 2nd Tamra and Eddie Judge will get three episodes to show off their love before being relegated back to the loser ensemble cast category. That is strangely reassuring because it means Bravo definitely has no plans to do a full-time Tamra show!
On last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey the Gorgadice battle continued, although the small beginnings of a peace treaty seemed to have been forged. Maybe…
Things begin in Casa de Giudice. Teresa Giudice is cooking while wrangling four screaming girls. Apparently there is some confustion (Teresa tawk) about who is actually the mama because while Milania is playing on the stove terrorizing some peppers, Gia is lecturing her about safety. Teresa meanwhile is flitting around in full hair and makeup yelling, "O.M.G!"
Teresa says she always reminds her girls to stick together and not end up married to men their siblings hate. Then she gives them a lecture on table manners. 1) Like, don't scream 'prostitution whore' unless the person really is a prostitution whore and has been engaged like 19 times! Like O.M.G!
Tonight's episode the plot will mostly center around Teresa Giudice and Caroline Manzo facing off for the first time since last season's "Disgrace" argument in Napa. The former friends, turned frienemies, turned total enemies will meet to try and mend Teresa's relationship with poor, widdle Poison.
Tom Murro's source EXCLUSIVELY reveals that the main point of contention will be Teresa's continued friendship with Kim D. Caroline presses Teresa about why she would remain friends with Kim given her involvement in the Posche Fashion Show set-up with Melissa Gorga last season.
This Friday Robert Williamson III, a professional poker player, filed a lawsuit for $250,000 alleging that Vicki "breached contract, committed fraud, failed to live up to good faith dealings, misrepresented herself and conspired to unjustly enrich herself and partner Ayers." Brooks is named as a co-defendant in the suit even though we know his broke butt isn't worth a dime!