Lisa Vanderpump had a restaurant. O-E-Oh-E-Ho. And in that restaurant she had a bartender. Who would cheat cheat here. And would cheat cheat there. Here a cheater, there a cheater. Everywhere a cheater cheating. Lisa Vanderpump had a restaurant. O-E-Oh-E-Ho. And such is the tale of Vanderpump Rules.
Last night the rampant epidemic of cheating that spread through SUR claimed another victim: Tom Schwartz. While Katie Maloney was busy “motorboating a d–k,” Tom 2 was making out with some girls and possibly having sex with others. In the middle of it all was Jax Taylor, erstwhile on a struggle for people to recognize his true nature as a gentle giant, an angel hellbent on protecting those he loves, a man who cries at the injustices of his friends being in relationships with toxic girls. Why does no one understand him?!
In other news Lisa is hosting a Gay Mayors party at PUMP and needs Tom 1, Jax, and Tom 2 (temporarily re-hired, but remanded to bring paper bags in case of panic attacks) to “Tray Pass” – i.e. hold catering trays of food and wander around. Tom 1 and Jax are pissed – that’s such an insult! That’s the lowest echelon of bar tending – they have standards, y’all!
“I cannot imagine my life without Ariana,” Tom 1 gushed. “It’s just explosive happiness for me on a daily basis.” I imagine degrading hell on daily basis was how he defined his previous relationship to Kristen Doute.
Tom 1 reveals that he and Ariana have discussed marriage and it’s a strong possibility for the couple who has been together about a year. Somewhere Kristen is impaling herself on a curling iron or a stiletto heel. You know she’ll crash that wedding!
This weekend we received some information from a very credible source about the status of Phaedra Parks‘ marriage to Apollo Nida. Phaedra told our source that she has absolutely no plans to visit Apollo while he is incarcerated at FMC Lexington Prison in Kentucky.
Brandi says it was Lisa who made the decision not to continue their friendship. “I thought there was a chance but I guess not… You’ll see it all unfold,” Brandi says blaming Lisa for ending the friendship. “She’s now saying there’s no chance we can be friends.”
Claudia Jordan has a new place. She wanted to live in a high-rise condo to hang onto her NYC roots and she apparently hit-up Kim Zolciak‘s yardsale to buy a collection of red Solo cups because she has no dishes or furniture to speak of. Claudia isn’t proud – she knows we’ve all spent many a’day sippin’ on Maddog 20/20 like this was 1993 and we’re in a Coolio video. Claudia invites Kenya Moore over to show off the new place, but then immediately puts her to work assembling iKea furniture while chugging wine out of said Solo cups. Kenya’s all like I didn’t wear my only pair of Louboutins for this. Then she wonders if Claudia has been buying her Louboutins from a Made In Hong Kong authentic discount site and painting the soles red herself. I mean, the only red bottoms that seem authentic in Claudia’s place are the cups!
Later Claudia and Kenya go to the gym under the pretense of Claudia getting her own stallion booty. Why doesn’t she just ask for the name of Kenya’s Mexican butt doctor? Claudia grew up with an Italian immigrant mother and a black father from NYC. Her dad left when they were kids and she doesn’t have much of a relationship with him.
Kenya Moore has been the victim of Apollo Nida‘s lies for years over sext-gate. After initially saying she wanted to apologize to Kenya for calling her a “whore” based on Apollo’s tales of cheating, Phaedra Parks has now placed Kenya at the bottom of her priority list. But has Kenya decided to forgive her anyway?
A source says that although Kenya no longer feels anger towards Phaedra, and accepts that Phaedra was reacting to Apollo’s lies, but she still hopes to receive an apology. Apparently it’s a matter of principle to the Real Housewives Of Atlanta star. “She’s tired of all the lies and the scorn that Apollo has caused,” an insider close to Kenya explains. “Now that Apollo has come clean and told Kenya face-to-face that he lied about her, she instantly forgave him. She no longer harbors any hatred in her heart for him.”
Brandi admits that it definitely looks like she’s being excluded by her co-stars, but only some of them gave her the cold shoulder. “Yolanda, Kim and I really hit it off with Rinna and in the beginning Kyle [Richards]… but not after some drama takes place,” Brandi reveals. “I LOVE Kim. We have such an honest bond. We laugh, we cry, we get into true silly girlfriend stuff. We call each other constantly.”
It’s been rumored for a while that NeNe Leakes will be getting her on talk show and today she confided the rumors are true!
While she didn’t land the gig on Fashion Police, NeNe revealed that she’ll instead be hosting an online talk show called “Fab Gab.” The show will be featured on NeNe’s website – she owns her own production company! – and will air episodes of her interviewing celebrities, talking about gossip, and in general anything going on in her life, I presume.
As NeNe continues to move away from Real Hosuewives Of Atlanta and build her own brand (including a spinoff), she is now also branching out into the talk show route! “You can see my exclusive fun, exciting, off the cuff, raw interviews with Celebs At Neneleakesofficial.com,” she revealed.