Last night was the season finale of Real Housewives Of Dallas. Shockingly we weren’t subjected to a charity event where LeeAnne Locken berated everyone for not knowing their place in the Dallas Charity Scene. Instead Stephanie Hollman and her husband Travis threw an adult kegger-rager to celebrate the Byron Nelson PGA golf tournament being literally in their backyard – which is coincidentally also the Four Seasons.
Only rich people would pay a zillion dollars to regularly have random men strolling through their backyard hitting balls and swinging clubs near their bedroom window, right?!
The party planing consists of Travis micromanaging Stephanie and constantly reminding her that it’s her responsibility to pick up dog poop. Forcing Stephanie to constantly deal with poop is a pretty good euphemism for their marriage because Travis constantly treats Stephanie like poop! Honestly next time he hands her a list and a pooper-scooper, she should just rip it up and snap, “Don’t bring that shit into my house” (ala her cutting comment to LeeAnne in Austin).
Heather Dubrow, benevolent dictatress and ever-so-snarky voice of reason on Real Housewives Of Orange County, is known for her calm, collected, witticisms that shoot through the BS like Lysol through a Mexican bachelorette party. She’s also known for her fabulous wardrobe, but that’s a whole ‘nother topic!
In anticipation of season 11, where Heather will finally unveil all 14 of the bathrooms in her massive new mansion, we’re remembering some of our favorite moments of Heather’s hubris – like the time she threw a fit over transporting her cake for her Colette champagne launch, and later we discovered the cake was fake! It was actually made of Styrofoam and inedible (#DietsByBravo). Good times!
Below Reality Tea counts down Heather’s 11 best moments on RHOC!
This weekend Nathan was arrested in Myrtle Beach, SC for disorderly conduct, public intoxication, impairment and endangering himself and others. This is perfect timing for theTeen Mom 2 train wreck – today he and Jenelle are due back in court for a custody hearing related to Kaiser. Jenelle, mother of the century, is currently trying to secure full custody by proving Nathan is unfit. Which is sort of like Pot calling the Kettle’s bottom black!
Cynthia and Peachter, Peachter Happy Eater have been separated for months – possibly their divorce is already in motion. Peter has been living in Charlotte, NC and focusing on Sports One (and opening another bar), while Cynthia remains in Atlanta traveling and promoting her various businesses. After largely staying silent about his marital issues, yesterday Peter posted a cryptic rant on instagram which seemed directed at Cynthia!
Yeah, I’m just gonna admit it – I didn’t want to write this Real Housewives Of New York recap. I had to rally and force myself, because last night was just so icky, fake, mean, desperate, and scheming. I wish for Carole Radziwill and Bethenny Frankel to take a good, hard, long inventory of their lives before they judge one more person. That display last night was, again, all kinds of hypocrisy and person-shaming, and lady bashing. I don’t care how much they boast about how it was one of the greatest episodes of all time – it wasn’t, in my opinion. So it’s round two of Get Crass With The Countess.
I don’t think Luann is any sort of innocent – she is annoyingly self-righteous, her jumpsuit was sinfully ugly, and I was pissed that she turned supplicant by apologizing to Bethenny after Bethenny’s barrage of insults. Also, I do think Luann likes to shift around the truth of things – like her relationship with Tom – but I don’t think anyone deserves the sort of treatment Bethenny dished out and I think Luann more than held her own in a calm manner, which impressed me.
“If there was anything I would do now that I never would have done when I was younger, it’s a reality show. I could only do it now because I am so grounded in who I am,” explains Carole. “So there’s no fear that I am suddenly going to become this crazy, screaming lunatic.” Well… maybe not the “screaming” part… Or wait – didn’t Carole grab Aviva Drescher on a flight of stairs over #BookGate?
Apparently one vital step in the Lyme healing is to flaunt your bikini body while celebrating freedom. I too am celebrating freedom from Yolanda monopolizing Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills – hold on imma get my bikini and my iPhone. Anyway, while off frolicking in Tahiti, a curious story popped up alleging that Bravo presented Yolanda an ultimatum if she hopes to remain on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills: No Lyme Disease, or lose your job. Since Yolanda has integrity, y’all and living her journey as a warrior for victims of silent diseases… Oh wait – no she’s not; she wants to be famous, so Lyme? What Lyme?!