Meanwhile, the sharks ate the Hollywood Exes alive, as only 667,000 viewers bothered to tune in. Hollywood Exes has two problems in my opinion. One – too much competition on Sunday. The show should move back to Wednesday. Two – viewers are over the Andrea Kelly and Jessica Canseco drama.
Finally, Princesses: Long Island finished their first (hopefully last) season on a higher note, with 899,000 viewers. Even the sharks swam away from this hot mess in search of something less irritating. Princesses Long Island's season average was 889,300.
Last week's episode of Princesses: Long Island ended with Ashlee Whitepoofing into thin air. I don't know about you guys but I've barely been able to sleep, eat, or care for my children. Worry consumes me! What if bad people kidnap Ashlee and force her to eat mixed cheese? What if she breaks a heel? What if Ashlee's parents hightail it outta Long Island before she's found? Who will care for little orphan Ashlee?
Thankfully, Chanel Omari is on the case, looking high and low for Ashlee. Mostly low. Winery employees can barely contain their smirks. I have a feeling they couldn't care less about Long Island's precious little snowflake. They're clearly bad people. Meanwhile, Chanel sobs, "All I can think about is, what's happening to her right now?" I know. I know! Cheeses, heels, orphans, it's all too much to process at once. Chanel adds, "I can't think about losing Ashlee forever." It's like she can read my mind!
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So, I'm not sure if you're aware, but the big gossip surrounding Princesses: Long Island is Joey Lauren's "persecution" of Ashlee White. HAHA. Ashlee is delusional – with a capital D – and her take on her ongoing feud with Joey is hilarious. Did you know Joey went after Ashlee at Amanda Bertoncini's white party? For no reason, Joey angrily screamed at Ashlee, "Nobody's on your side!" Is this bish for real? Her little recap leaves out the part where she tells Joey that none of "her" friends like her just to hurt her feelings.
"Love your enemies," advises the little wise one troll. "Just in case your friends turn out to be schmucks."
Am I sleeping? Is this a nightmare? I need a break from Ashlee – who's next? Ah, obnoxious Amanda and her speech challenged sister Taylor, of course. Bravo clearly has a mean spirited sense of humor. Amanda and Taylor are shopping. And talking. Amanda asks, "Want some Froooyooo?" and Taylor responds, "Froyo makes you lose weight, right?" Sure, it also boosts brain power, so eat up!
What did they do? Well, Aaryn and GinaMarie spewed racist comments inside the Big Brother house, and Stefan took off his shirt at a pool party featured on Princesses: Long Island. Hmm – one of these things is not like the other!
Sister Wives debuted on Sunday night and is off to a strong start with 2.5 million. We're still planning to cover it, but most likely not until next week due to technical difficult difficulties this week!
Ashlee's parents are away for the night. Ashlee reveals that she's hosting a sleepover in lieu of sleeping alone like a big girl. What, no nanny? Then, Ashlee's mom calls to check in, and the wretched troll complains about a mixed cheese tray. "I'm not serving mixed cheese – that's disgusting," she says. "Poor people mix things."
Ashlee's sleepover guests include Chanel and Amanda. The girls change into their sleep attire – footed jammies with a diaper flap for Ashlee, satin nightie for Chanel, and Frederick's of Hollywood for Amanda – and settle in for some wine, rich people cheese, and a game of Never Have I Ever. I swear, these women get more annoying every single week.