Last night on Real Housewives of Miami we were exposed to the parental lineage of the Housewives clan. No not just Mama Elsa, but we met Fembot Fakenstein's in-laws and Joanna Krupa's mama. And Adriana de Moura hosted an anniversary party for the parents of the man she's been stringing along for years and will probably never marry until Bravo agrees to shell-out for the wedding and a spinoff.
Things begin with Lea Black having a birthday party for her eleven-year-old son RJ. They've decided to host the party at the "new house" on Star Island which they are planning to gut renovate so it doesn't matter if the wild boys tear up the joint. And since this is how Housewives roll Lea decides to invite some of her fellow-Housewives, plus Elaine Lancaster, to cause some drama.
Fembot shows up first, very early, and nervy beans but ready to rip on Lea's not-yet-redone home. Then Alexia Echevarria, Elaine, and Lisa Pliner (who whaddya wanna bet is auditioning for next season's cast). Immediately talk turns to Marysol Patton and the drama at Lisa's party last week.
Lisa P is still Team Elaine and maintains that Marysol tried to convince her to hire someone else over Elaine, citing it would be free. Elaine/James is highly incensed and everyone bickers back and forth about Marysol's motives. Lisa perceived it as Marysol was attacking her. Alexia defended Marysol as being non-confrontational. It's so rare to see Housewives defend each other. #shocking
Well, I guess the house that boobs built will have to be home to another hedonistic, lingerie party loving couple! Lisa Hochstein has just listed her mansion featured in the infamous bitch slap n broom beat-down episode for $10.75 Million dollars.
The Real Housewives of Miami star recently purchased the homeLea Black wanted on Star Island, an elite celebrity resting ground and apparently they are finally ready to relocate to their next palace of boobs, butt implants, and Botox.
Dang – boob jobs buy a lot of equity – I may have to consider a career change! Dr. Lenny Hochstein, lover of bright colored man-blouses, built chateau, self-titled "Palacio del Eden," in 2007 and shortly after moved Fembot in to be his living recreation of his life's work.
You can't not love Mama Elsa. Or maybe you can. I will say she's given me several moments of pause this season. I like to think that the celebrity has just gone to her head, and who can blame her for that?
I will say that Real Housewives of Miami has come back in a way no one anticipated. Sure, the series started out as an awkward cooking show that morphed into a housewives favorite, but I'm still shocked. I just can't believe that these women have become such a popular reality staple. Yes, I love them, but I'm also really proud. I feel they've come a long way. Mama Elsa totally forged this franchise.
Uh oh. Poor Real Housewives of Miami newbie. I love the totally plastic Lisa Hochstein, but she's going to have Alex McCord and Simon van Kempen after her screaming trademark infringement….mainly because they have nothing better to do and desperately need to remain relevant. I kid, I kid. If anything, Lisa is boosting Silex's t-shirt sales. The uber-enhanced housewife is sharing her insight on the most recent episode of RHOM, and I have to say, it's both spot on and hilarious. It's why I adore Lisa–at first glance, you expect nothing under those injections but a ditzy airhead, but she's actually extremely down-to-earth and objective (except when she's bathing her dogs, of course).
Taking to her Bravo blog, Lisa dishes on the fashion show drama that had Marysol Patton literally running away from the teetering and towering drag queen Elaine Lancaster. Stealing the words right out of Silex's mouth, Lisa writes, “It was the wrong time, wrong place, wrong attitude. She looked like a thug in a cocktail dress," adding, “I understand Elaine was angry, but the pointing, tone of voice and chasing made the guests uncomfortable. Although Elaine is dressed as a woman, she/he is still a man.”
Both Joanna and Romain shared their news and reactions to the breakup with In Touch. (Why InTouch? Next time call us, Joanna!) She explains, “We got in a huge fight, and I just pretty much got fed up with it. He loves me to death, he wants to be with me, but there’s something that’s holding him from committing 100 percent. It’s been more than five years, we don’t have a wedding date set … Nothing was going to change.”
I think we all learned a good lesson on Real Housewives of Miami last night. Thomas Kramer's house is no place for Housewives of any strife, location, or wig-wearing persuasion.
The creepy, weird older guy who hosted the ladies of Atlanta on an unforgettable girls weekend two seasons ago, once again did Housewives no favors by hosting the ladies of Miami for an atrocious dinner party where the lest desirable thing at the table was Thomas himself. Look dude, if you think telling an 80-year-old woman to sit down and shut-up because she's nearing her expiration date is going to get you a reality show, you're mistaken.
Things begin at Lea Black's house withMama Elsa and a case of missing mozzarella. Apparently Mama Elsa wants Lea and Marysol Patton to make up, but Lea has a conflict of interest – or two. One of them is 8 foot tall drag queen in a 40" wide wig named Elaine Lancaster. And the other is that essentially that The Patton Group screwed up The Black Gala two years in a row and there was nary an apology in sight.
Speaking with James he gave me his perspective on the situation with Marysol and how he believes their feud started. Now, bear in mind this is James' perspective.
James calls the show a "wonderful experience that has been very cathartic in a lot of ways." James says his issues with Marysol started a "couple of years ago."
He says their relationship was always casual. "We have a lot of the same acquaintances; people that I socialize with on a regular basis," he says and they often saw each other at social events.
James said he always felt Marysol had a "problem" with him, but he's not sure why. He thinks it has something to do with jealousy over him being a "bright light" and charismatic presence on the Miami social scene.
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