While Lauren has resolved to legally (and religiously) yoke herself to one Vicotta, of the saltiest and savoriest salamis, Albie Manzo remains adrift in the wind, spraying his pot fertilizer up at the sun and watching it disappear. Albie went from being the prodigal son, to being mommy’s biggest flop – even Lauren mocks him for failing out of law school. It was all that pot prosciutto!
Last night on Manzo’d With Children times were a’changin’ as Vito Scalia and Lauren Manzo told their parents it was time for them to claim some independence. Naturally that was just token gesture, and absolutely nothing will change.
The Manzo-Scalia bunch is still in Italy. For their final night in the paradise of Caroline Manzo‘s 1/16th dreams they are amid the splendors of a villa that is both a working farm and a restaurant. Alas it will be a nightmare for Vito Sr. and Denise when their blessed miracle Vicotta tells them the worst news they could imagine: he doesn’t want children he’s planning to open his own deli in Manhattan.
It seems like we blinked, and just like that, the finale of the Real Housewives of New Jersey: Teresa ChecksIn is here. We laughed, we cried. In a brief moral crisis, we wondered why we were laughing and crying (maybe that was just me?). But it all comes to a close now, as Teresa Giudice checks in for the last time on national TV before she is released in December from Danbury Correctional Facility.
Since Teresa has been locked up, Joe Guidice has been running the household. Which means he has been spending 100% of his time trying to control Tropical Storm Milania. After fixing a clogged sink for cutie-patootie Audriana, Joe heads outside where Milania is feeding rocks to the pond fish (because she spilled all of their food on the ground). Gabriellais attempting to discipline Milania, but she gives up quickly, knowing it’s a futile battle. Joe Gorga comments that he has to hand it to Juicy for taking care of these 4 little girls because “they’re not just normal girls; they’re tough!”
Yes, it is true. The Real Housewives of New Jersey star revealed yesterday that she is opening a clothing boutique in New Jersey. Melissa, who launched her own jewelry line last year, said, “Moving into apparel was a natural next step for me. Fashion and styling is something that I have always enjoyed.”
In the case of Lauren Manzo as her wedding approaches so too does the nagging about when she will be carrying on the illustrious Manz0-Scalia lineage and fulfilling her role and Caroline and Denise’s grandchild vessel. Caroline and Denise, henceforth, “Team Grandma” are on a two-pronged mission to get Lauren pregnant even if they have to tie her up in an Italian receiving blanket and inject Vito’s sperm into her with a meat tenderizer. Yes – it’s that drastic.
It’s July 1: five months before Teresa’s expected release and eight months before Joe begins his sentence. Joe is fixing Milania’shair while he reflects on becoming “Mr. Mom.” Meanwhile, Melissa Gorga shows up to take Gia, Gabriella, Milania, and Audrianato get pedicures with her daughter, Antonia. Melissa says she’s reached out to Teresa in prison, but she hasn’t heard back because “Teresa’s email chain is full.” <side eye> Melissa is still praying for her, though because she knows which side her Bravo bread is buttered on. Antonia and Milania, who have always shared a special bond, hold hands the entire way to the salon. #tendermoment
It was previously thought that Teresa might go with her former long-time ghost writer Heather Maclean, but it looks like the felonista has gone in a new direction. Teresa tapped People magazine writer K.C. Baker to lend her a hand. Turning the Tables: From Housewife to Inmate and Back Again, is set to be released on Feb. 9, 2016 by Gallery Books.
For those of our readers who miss the Real Housewives of New Jersey twins, Teresa Aprea and Nicole Napolitano, I have exciting news. <crickets> Um, at least one of you misses them, right? <tap tap> Is this thing on?
Well, then I have exciting news. 😉 On the latest episode of the twins’ podcast, Girls In Heels, Teresa and Nicole revealed whether or not they plan to return to Real Housewives of New Jersey and dished on a new reality show in the works – they already shot the pilot – that will focus solely on their family.