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Real Housewives of New Jersey

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No matter what happens, Teresa Giudice of Real Housewives of New Jersey will always end up smelling as sweet as a product from her Milania hair care line…at least in her own mind!  After a very Zen like trip to Arizona, Teresa is still catching heat for her role (she had nothing–NOTHING–to do with it!) in Melissa Gorga stripper-gate, as well as the Karma-will-come-back-your-kids comment she made to Jacqueline Laurita.  To be totally honest, I never thought Tre was targeting little Nicolas with that statement…not because she's not that mean, but because she's not that quick on her feet!  I kid.

Someone Teresa takes to her Bravo blog to set the record straight.  She begins, "I was really happy after the Milania Hair Care party, because I felt like Penny had put the rumors about me being involved in any Melissa rumors to rest once and for all. Apparently, though, she didn't. I guess no one could. My brother and Melissa are going to believe whatever they want to believe — even if dead people are telling them!"

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teresafamily

Less money, more problems! I guess every penny counts when you're about to go to prison and owe the feds a zillion dollars! And I guess when you've already pulled a big, humogo scam a little, bitty one doesn't hurt, right?

Teresa Giudice and fam were at the beach this weekend soaking in some of the last hot days of summer. Sadly, like all things Real Housewives of New Jersey, an innocent gathering quickly turned into a hot mess needing police involvement! 

Here's the story from TMZ: Teresa and Joe Giudice were at Ship Bottom beach on Long Island with a ton of friends and family, including their kiddos and parents. Unfortunately the beach requires $5 entry fee per person and somebody didn't wanna pay no stink' $5 dollars! (TUH-REE-SA!)

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rhonj-recap

I don't know what else to say about last night's Real Housewives of New Jersey except YAAAAAWN! I am so over this "reconciliation" storyline (and apparently I'm not the only one if ratings are any indication!). Let's move on and stir up a fresh new pot of drama! 

So everyone is pretending they like each other to head out to Arizona and celebrate Melissa Gorga's birthday at some spa retreat. Melissa isn't feeling too good - I think what Melissa is coming down with is a bad feeling of impending drama… 

Before everyone packs up their sequin-sucking chuckalina bathing suits, Teresa Giudice is doing a cooking demo at the mall for the 85 & Older Club. I mean seriously, yeah spinach will probably save your life but you likely have to start eating it before you're eligible for AARP. 

Kathy Wakile shows up to support whatever it is Teresa is doing with olive oil, bread, and loud rambling. I remain focused on her hair. It's literally a hair helmet (hairmet?) at this point, all plasticy and just perched there. I'm perplexed. So is Wallpaper; she's confused about how all of the sudden Teresa is absolved of her sins? Kathy tells her, 'It's not like a sponge, Tre, you can't just wipe it over the mess with some kitchen cleaner and have it be gone. This is like a big mess - like you need a hazmat team, but hey – let's go heal on another Vacations By Bravo. Free shit is free shit, right?!' Cannoli and Wine for the Jersey Woman's Soul by Kathy

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2013 MTV Music Video Awards

Because Teresa Giudice has nothing more pressing to worry about in her life, she's making sure we all know that her sister-in-law Melissa Gorga was not the only Real Housewife invited to the MTV VMA's last night.  

Sunday afternoon Teresa Tweeted that she turned down an invite to the VMAs to spend the weekend with her family, which might not be the whole truth.  You're shocked, I know.   

teresa-tweet-1

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teresa-giudice-milania-haircare-launch

Remember that childhood expression that when you point a finger you have four more pointing back at you? Newly minted delusional hair care maven Teresa Giudice recently launched Milania Hair Care (and won an award for it!) and despite her own um… helmety plasticy looking locks she's now dispensing advice along with her shampoo!

The Real Housewives of New Jersey star recently sat down with OK! Magazine to share which Housewife she feels is in desperate need of a hair intervention. The answer: Alex McCord!

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New York Premiere of 'Grown Ups 2'

Despite the less than inspired decor sparsely populating her own mansion, Melissa Gorga is focusing on her own "Italian Style" home decor venture! 

Basing the collection, which will be featured on Joss & Main's site in a special flash sale on her Italian-Renaissance inspired home, Melissa's " Home Italian Style" collection features furniture, upholstered pieces, rugs and accessories which represent her own personal tastes! Yikes

"I want you to walk in and feel like our home is something you haven’t seen before," the Real Housewives of New Jersey star gushed. "I always strive to find pieces that are unique. I love the wow factor."

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Joe Gorga Melissa Gorga

Hmmm… well color me surprised! Last year Melissa and Joe Gorga listed their Montville mansion for $3.8 million dollars. Some reports speculated they were having financial troubles and had to move, other sources claimed they were illegally living in a "spec house" built to promote Joe's business and were responsible for sudden mortgage hikes if they didn't sell the property. 

Melissa herself said she wanted to move so her kids didn't go to the same school as Teresa Giudice's children. Despite being told by realtor Jennifer Dalton that the house wasn't worth $3.8 – especially with the faux marble sink that collapsed during an open house, the Real Housewives of New Jersey stars told Us Weekly they just sold the place for full asking price!  Um… right…. I'll believe it when it closes and I see the bill of sale!

"I feel like this was meant to be. It happened just in time for the kids to start their first of day of school," Melissa gushed.

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teresa-giudice-full

It's time for the spin cycle–Real Housewives of New Jersey edition!  On the heels of Melissa Gorga's blog about some chick she barely knew a bazillion years ago, now we're getting Teresa Giudice's version.  You have to love how Tre (or her Bravo blog ghostwriter) makes her look like an innocent bystander who just loves and supports her sister-in-law as she navigates this crazy world of reality fame!  If I was Andy Cohen, and this was my clubhouse, the drinking words would be "best friends!"

Of her take on Melissa's experience at her launch party, Teresa writes, "I was sorry that Melissa got into a fight with one of her best friends at the launch party. For the record, I didn't invite Jan or Penny. The party was open to any salon owners who called in and spoke with the Youthful 8 company reps. As soon as I found out Jan had RSVPed, I called Melissa to warn her and make sure she would be OK with it. If Melissa didn't want them to come, believe me, I would have uninvited them immediately!"  I believe that, don't you?

Teresa continues, "I don't really know Jan, I just know she was one of Melissa's best girlfriends, and they were in each other's wedding. I have no idea why Jan and Melissa would have a falling out, but like I said in my interview on the show, I have Melissa's back…When Jan and Melissa were talking, I was right there to make sure it didn't get out of hand. My brother was right there too, and he wasn't upset, shrugging it off as crazy talk, so I did too. My main concern was that Melissa knew I was there for her."  Really?  I don't believe Melissa as far as I could throw her, but it appeared to me that Teresa didn't want to leave because she didn't want anyone to say something she wasn't expecting…

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