Recaps

teen-mom-reunion

OK, so if you tuned in for the supersized Teen Mom 2 last night, we are now on to the actual reunion portion of things, with hopefully ALL the teen moms. If you didn’t have the stomach for two hours (and believe me, I understand), check out my recap on the first half so you’re all caught up. You’re going to need it as a point of reference and really, that’s where all the action happened. Tonight’s reunion was pretty quiet in comparison.

As Leah Messer and Kailyn Lowry get hair and makeup, Chelsea Houska is back on set after a fever yesterday and (surprise!) so is Jenelle Evans, who faked sick and stormed off set because she was mad at her mom. In the makeup chair, Jenelle defends herself and blames the producers again for her troubles with Barb. Under the watchful eye of Baby Daddy/Creepy Control Freak David Eason, Jenelle goes to film her intro on the reunion and when asked what her most positive trait is, she doesn’t have one but two for us: being well spoken and also, educated. HA! With that little gem, on with the show!

kailyn

So last week on Teen Mom 2, we were left with the ever frustrating “To Be Continued…..” as Kailyn Lowry proclaimed to soon-to-be ex-husband Javi Marroquin that “sometimes you need to hurt people to make yourself happy.” That seems to sum up Kail pretty nicely but hey, at least girlfriend is staying true to herself. Naturally, Javi can’t leave on that note and after storming out, he storms right back in – without knocking!!!! Take that, Kail!

When Javi does come back in, he doesn’t get the warmest welcome and Kail immediately tells him to get out. Javi plops down on the couch and says he doesn’t want to fight anymore. Kail insists that she doesn’t want to make their divorce about them, it’s about Lincoln. No, sweetie, your divorce is about your marriage, not your child but nice try to get out of dealing with whatever problems you guys did have that led up to this point. After brow beating Javi some more, he is finally worn down to the point of getting teary and realizes he won’t get through to Kail at all. He asks if they can leave today on good terms and co-parent together. “That’s up to you” Kail snaps back. On to the reunion!

Kenya & Phaedra

Despite the failed Restoration on last week’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta, I thought people were moving forward, but like Paula Abdul dancing with a cartoon cheetah it was two steps forward and two steps back … except Kenya Moore and Phaedra Parks do NOT go together because sometimes opposites attack!

I gotta say Phaedra really disappointed me. Usually I’d see Kenya as the cartoon cheetah in this scenario, but last night it was sooo Phaedra! One thing about this trip to Maui was that that the ladies really shed their facades and let their guards down for a change.

The episode opens with Kenya and Phaedra playing tennis, bantering as they batted balls – badly – back and forth. Kenya seems hopeful that she and Phaedra are on their way to a real friendship, but Phaedra is still content to keep things at a distance. Although she’s glad she and Kenya aren’t having drama like everyone else. DUH – DUH -DUH… that’s some horror movie foreshadowing right there! Especially when Phaedra mentions, again, that she doesn’t quite trust Kenya (or any of these girls) with the status of her divorce.

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Survivor Jackpot

If last week’s double-episode premiere of “Survivor: Game Changers” was any indication, then this group is here to play. But despite how good of a player one may deem him or herself, luck always is a major factor in shaping how a season goes. Not only that, but the game itself will usually contain enough twists and surprises to keep most players humble.

Last night’s episode of Survivor not only gave us the first big “game twist” of the season, but it also included the first hidden Immunity Idol find. Add to that, we learned at Tribal Council that in a season of game-changers, “strength” is in the eye of the beholder. Get ready to grab this goat by the horns – a male goat, not a baby or mama goat please – and let’s get to recappin’!

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rhobh-hong-kong-junk-boat

Sigh – Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills is always one step forward; two steps back. Last night, the ladies journeyed halfway across the globe, from Beverly Hills to Hong Kong, only to find themselves mired in the same old “who said it” drama. Well, it’s good to change it up a bit and fight in new settings, and the gorgeous scenery did not disappoint.

It’s a fourteen-hour flight, which means one could find themselves trapped on an airplane using Kyle Richards‘ hair kaftan as a blanket (or parachute!), or being bored to death by Eileen Davidson discussing trans-particle fusion as applied to soap villainesses and their cognitive dissonance coping skills.

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Little Women: LA Recap - Terra Jole

Terra Jole came back to reality on last night’s Little Women: LA, and that reality was filled with health problems and broken friendships. As Terra prepares for hernia surgery, Christy McGinity Gibel begins the slow process of recovering from neck surgery – including complications which resulted in a mini-stroke. Sadly, the group is so fractured at this point, they can barely support Terra or Christy in their time of need, focusing instead on their resentments and anger. Case in point: Briana Renee and Elena Gant. 

Terra returns home after her press junket, which followed elimination from Dancing With the Stars. Tonya Banks has been Terra’s sole support system throughout her stint on the show, while Joe Gnoffo has basically been imprisoned with their two children (he can’t leave the house with them, given his own health challenges). After coming home, Joe admits he’s glad DWTS is over. Terra admits she placed a ton of pressure on him to single-parent their kids while she was gone, but now she has to face the music – motherhood and hernia surgery.

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Tom and Katie - final days

Last night’s Vanderpump Rules traveled through the few remaining days before Tom Schwartz legally yoked himself to Tequila Katie. Actually, Tom has optimistically decided to eulogize Tequila Katie – maybe that explains why they spent $10,000 on flowers! Double-duty for a funeral?

Before everyone converges in the middle of nowhere “where no one can hear you squeal, boy,” (name that movie!) Tom 1 and Jax Taylor must take care of some risky business in the big city. They must summon their courage with a tiny trumpet and drink raw eggs for manliness. They’re doing this for Tom 2. As he relinquishes his bank account, his soul, and what’s left of the d–k he can only partially find, that only partially works, Tom 1 and Jax will be his everlasting strength.

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chelsea-aubree

Tonight’s episode of Teen Mom 2 is setting us up nicely for the season finale next week. Chelsea Houska and Cole DeBoer are getting hitched, Leah Messer is going back to school, Jenelle Evans is still battling mom Barb in court for custody of Jace and Kailyn Lowry and Javi Marroquin are still in the miserable stage of getting divorced, with no end in sight. So let’s get this recap on the road!

Chelsea is going to get her marriage license in Nebraska and is pretty excited to be a wife. As she shares that with her mom and Aubree over lunch, her mom ruins it by telling Aubree that Cole will officially be her dad now. A confused Aubree asks how he can be her dad when she already has a deadbeat one (OK I added the deadbeat part) and Chelsea insists her mother stop. Instead, her mom takes it up a notch and asks Aubree if she calls Cole dad. Aubree gets annoyed and who could blame her. These are questions she should be handling on her own and it’s not up to anyone else to pressure Aubree into defining her relationships with the adults in her life.