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Tamra and Eddie

Last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of Orange County was jam-packed, wasn’t it? It went from a literal brawl over Shane of all things, to laughing and crying, and in between people were dating, divorcing, apologizing, and maybe even dating people who are using them for their money! People were also getting their livers probed by an alien from planet moon fingers. Which is perfect because Gina Kirscheheiter literally always looks like a character on Star Trek.

Tamra Judge is in her room, drawing hearts on her ankle boot or something when downstairs Gina is literally wrestling Kelly Dodd and Emily Simpson apart. Over Gina’s head, Emily screams “I’ll kill you!” I mean, it’s only warranted because Kelly called Emily’s husband, Shane, a “prick” a “pussy” and a “twerp” among others.

90 Day Fiance Before The 90 Days Recap: Truth Or Lie

There were so many bombs dropped on 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days last night, we all need Paul’s military heat vest to withstand the fallout. DUDE, these peeps be CRAY! But I wouldn’t want it any other way, would you? Before we get to the raging hot mess of Angela and Michael, let’s check in with our other couples.

Newcomers Marta, a single mom of two from Milwaukee, is introduced to us and we learn about her online relationship with expert-selfie taker Daya, from Algeria. These two very misguided people are a perfect match, according to Daya, except for one small problem: She is Catholic and he is Muslim. And neither of them have any plans to convert. No prob!

LeeAnne and Brandi fight Over LeeAnne

Last night the Real Housewives Of Dallas left Beaver Creek to return to their roots: the rodeo! D’Andra Simmons celebrated her 49th birthday and some of her friends treated her like a little girl who was gonna eat too much cake and make herself sick!

Cary Deuber is still in Jackson Hole Wyoming, and Stephanie Hollman is in Italy pasta-scarfing all her feelings about Kameron Westcott away. Much better than therapy if you ask me! This means Brandi Redmond‘s left to be the one-woman fun machine. She did not disappoint, although poor old LeeAnne Locken was trying to nip at her heels.

LeeAnne loves a competition over nothing, doesn’t she? Is she in therapy for this or does she not recognize that it’s a problem? Last week she argued with D’Andra over who was queen of nothing, which resulted in sexual assault on a K-Cup; this week she’s competing with Brandi for the title of D’Andra’s BFF. LeeAnne one-upped D’Andra’s K-Cup with an audition for a Def Leopard video – except MTV stop making music videos about 300 years ago, about the time LeeAnne should’ve handled her insecurities.

Below Deck Reunion

Last night was the Below Deck Mediterranean reunion, and Captain Sandy Yawn wants us all to know she wore her boss pants. Joao Franco, on the other hand, wore a diaper.

The set of these WWHL Reunions is so depressing, isn’t it. Like getting married in a Vegas chapel with a liquor store next door. It just doesn’t translate to ‘daytime’ activities. Who wants to bear their soul in front of a rhinestone Snoopy or a photo of Ramona Singer doing Turtle Time in a satin dress? I guess Joao’s nervous breakdowns don’t discriminate?

Want To Write For Reality Tea? Looking For Freelancers To Join Our Team!

We’re looking for a few passionate reality TV fans who want to write news articles, podcast transcriptions, and/or show recaps!

If you’re someone who keeps up with the latest episodes and the latest news on the most popular (and not so popular) reality TV shows and stars, we want to hear from you!

We’re looking for fans with knowledge of the reality shows and stars that we cover here on Reality Tea (Teen Mom, 90 Day Fiance, Real Housewives and others – but it’s not required that you need to know them all!).

To apply, send an email to [email protected] with the following information:

  1. Which shows you are most familiar with and are interested in covering
  2. If you’re interested in show recaps or news articles or both
  3. A sample of your writing (not something you wrote previously that’s unrelated to reality TV).
    1. If you’re applying for a recapper position, send over a recap of the first 10-15 minutes of a show that aired this week. Example here.  Note: we are currently set with recappers for the Real Housewives shows.
    2. If you’re applying for a podcast transcriber position, send over a sample of the first 10 minutes of a reality related podcast interview that aired this past week. Example here.
    3. If you’re applying for a news position, send over a sample article of something reality TV star related that was in the news in the past week. Approx. 250-300 words.  A Few Examples here, here, here and here.

And yes, these are paid freelance positions – not enough to buy a yacht, but probably enough to buy some pinot and popcorn.

Emily Simpson screams at Kelly Dodd

Dramy, dramy, dram-dramzs on last night’s Real Housewives Of Orange County. So Emily Simpson was really glad that after all the rumors, speculation, and gossip Shane could come to Tamra Judges party, be his best Mormon self, and everyone would get to know ‘the real Shane.’  Except The Real Shane(TM) turned out to be kinda worse than the Shane of everyone’s imagination. This is gonna go either one of two ways here, kids: Emily will find herself divorced, or her happy marriage will cost her the show next season!

This episode might as well have been titled The Real HouseHUSBANDS, because it was about bad husbands or lack thereof from start to finish. After our two week hiatus, we’re still on the golf course celebrating Vicki Gunvalson‘s 400th birthday. This day has more fits and starts than Vicki’s ever-evolving face. Suddenly Shanon Beador was storming away from the lunch table because Tamra “doesn’t care” about Shannon’s opinion.

90 Day Fiance Before The 90 Days Recap: Just A Try

The doomed relationships of 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days hit critical mass last night, with some couples calling it quits, others revealing new secrets, and one couple even getting officially hitched. Yup, Karine signed up to be Mrs. Paul FOR REALS, you guys. And she doesn’t have anything to show for it except a blocked Instagram account, a few used up pregnancy tests, and 67 poop emoji pillows.

The moment Family Karine has been dreading is here: their beloved daughter will meet Paul and Siri at the altar to wed in holy matrimony. The day of the wedding, Karine is still nervous but committed her bad decisions. As Mother Karine cries by her side, Paul rides to the ceremony hall recounting his terrible relationships of yesteryear and hoping he doesn’t have a panic attack today. No running into the woods, Paul! BAD PAUL. Sit. Stay.  

Real Housewives Of Dallas in Beaver Creek

Peace, love, and ice cold hearts? On last night’s Real Housewives Of Dallas Beaver Creek continued to offer up its many splendored dramas and arguments, but this time the only thing that got naked was D’Andra Simmons‘s foot! Kameron Westcott is OK with podiatry nudity – after all one has to get pedicures!

It’s a crisp, sunny morning in Beaver Creek and it’s as if the previous night of arguing over bashing over Brandi Redmond‘s baby Bruin never happened. At all. Freshly fallen snow has wipeth clean the slate and painted it as white as Kameron’s undead skin. Well, kinda. In actuality, everyone blames their lack of sanity on high altitude and high alcohol content.

But at least Kameron didn’t stage an insurrection to forcibly throw Stephanie Hollman from her house, leaving her to trudge to the PJ platform in nothing more than striped PJ’s like a common criminal. Although Kam’s feelings are still hurt. After all, why wasn’t she inner-circle enough to know about Brandi’s baby? Um, probably because, as D’Andra later points out, because Kam doesn’t even like Brandi or Stephanie! Kameron essentially only tolerates Stephanie because Travis is wealthy and influential. Which is probably what Kameron considers the basis of an everlasting friendship anyway…