Recaps

Below Deck recap

On last night’s Below Deck, love was in the air for Valentine’s Day. And Kate Chastain decided it was her turn to play Cupid! As both the coordinator of the charter guests’ engagement dinner and the mastermind behind Ben Robinson’s slick move to win over Emily Warburton Adam, Kate had her hands in everyone’s emotional business. (At least she didn’t have her hands all over Ro anymore, as most of us are still recovering from last week’s eternal public makeout session.)

Meanwhile, Captain Lee Rosbach still has a bee in his bonnet about Kelley Johnson’s ability to bosun up. Kelley doesn’t do himself any favors this week when he practically crashes the tender into the sea pool, the yacht, everyone on board…you know, just a minor slip up in the day of a yachtie! Oh – and Kyle Dixon decides it’s time once and for all to club his Alaskan faced woman over the head and drag her back to his cave (er, bunk). A dizzy Sierra Storm has no chance to escape The Kyle. The Kyle is a’comin, and he’s a’comin with no Wellies this time!

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Real Housewives of Orange County recap

Just when you thought the Real Housewives Of Orange County couldn’t behave any worse in Ireland, Vicki Gunvalson flashes her boobs at the dinner table and Shannon Beador turns into a after-school special about middle-age bullying.

What a strange episode! So Kelly Dodd is a rampant liability who needs to be exposed, so suddenly the ladies are all BFF with Vicki again. Yes, even Shannon. Tequila Shots became the Trojan Horse of RHOC last night, and it was well, awful.

These women know Vicki’s love tank, all cylinders of it, are running on “E” and her yearning to be their friend is so palpable you could drink it in a shot glass. Yet, who is Kelly’s only conceivable ally on RHOC? Vicki – the other ostracized one. And how do you get Kelly defenseless when she’s indefensible? Capture Vicki, leaving her bogged down in the conflict between what is right and what is right for her right now.

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Juicy Goes To Prison

Last night Real Housewives Of New Jersey lost one of its greatest assets when Joe Giudice left for prison. Just think – all it took for the Gorgadices to mend their family feud was for Juicy to get incarcerated!

The episode begins counting down the days before Joe goes “away” for 41 months. No one feels it as deeply as Teresa Giudice, who tries to make each moment count with special activities for the girls to bond with their dad. First is a little Magnolia Bakery plug to decorate cupcakes for the birthdays Joe will miss while locked up. Also, there was glitter and we know Teresa has never been able to turn her back on an errant piece of glitter.

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90 Day Fiance recap

Chantel and Pedro finally came clean on last night’s 90 Day Fiance. And it went as well as expected…which is to say, not well at all. Meanwhile, Nicole is still playing out her Arabian Nights fantasy with Azan in the deserts of Morocco, but the physical exertion of a single outing on foot is enough to make her pine for the days when she could merely sit on her couch and Skype with Azan from afar.

As for Anfisa and Jorge, they’re still in deep negotiations about the terms and conditions of Anfisa’s stay in the U.S. By the way, Anfisa thinks she can be a model! Jorge of course perpetuates this delusion, hoping that she’ll rake in her own dough so he can stop pretending he has any. Although he draws the line at “distasteful” photos (read: topless). As for the other couples: They are still a depressing mess. (TLC, where do you FIND these people?!?!?)

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Little Women: Atlanta season finale recap

Well, Little Women: Atlanta fans, we made it through season two, just barely. As far as season finales go, this one just so happens to be on the tamer side but given the brawls, babies, and wedding blow out plans we have sat through all season, it’s a nice change of pace. Chicken wings won’t be thrown and the shade is at a minimum, but we finally get to see these ladies come together as real friends before they rip each other to shreds next week at the reunion.

Last week, we learned the deeply saddening news that Emily Fernandez’s newborn son JJ passed away. Best friend Bri Barlup knows she needs to be there for Emily to help her grieve and heal so she has decided to move back to Dallas to support Emily. As noble as that is, there is one catch – her boyfriend and baby daddy, Wooda, is settled in Atlanta now and doesn’t want to pick up and go. She knows she has to sit down to try and convince him, but that won’t be easy.

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Little Women: LA recap

On last night’s Little Women: LA, Joe Gnoffo and Terra Jole went 32 rounds over the naming of their newborn son while Briana Renee went to buy a gun! Because, you know how it goes when your husband acts like a toolbox on national TV, causing otherwise balanced people everywhere to feel rather murdery toward him? Yeah, that’s what happened. Thus, the many “death threats” coming Matt Ericson [Grundhoffer]‘s way of late aren’t making Briana feel too secure about her safety. Just another day in the life of this Ride or Die Tryin’ couple.

But of course, Briana blames Christy McGinity for the death threats. Cause… why not?! Meanwhile, Elena Gant tries to talk sense into Christy’s head about smoothing things over with the ladies. But an utterly exhausted Christy is not up for another beat down by the ladies. Yes, she’s (sort of) ready to apologize, but her heart’s not in it.

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Dont Be Tardy recap

Part Two of The Biermann’s Family Vacation means that Don’t Be Tardy is still home on the range in Montana.

Kim Zolciak Biermann is still alive despite not being able to access Starbucks and it looks like Brielle has also survived (just barely) without any Chick fil A to eat. The rest of the kids seem completely unaffected by their environment because after all, life is just one giant romper room for them to wrestle in and it does not really matter if that romper room is at their house in Atlanta or at some lodge in Montana.

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Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen-X Recap

Daaaaang! Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen-X brought it tonight! In what was clearly the best episode yet this season, we had all sorts of excitement: An Idol was found, there was a epic Reward Challenge battle (#showdown4theages, if you will), and there were so many twists and turns with strategy leading up to and right on through Tribal Council, that someone summed up best by the end of the episode when they simply said, “Wow.”

You know it’s a hoppin’ night of Survivor when new lingo is introduced, as we all now know what #LiveTribal means (more on that later). And I’m pretty sure no one on Survivor has ever uttered the phrase: “They about to see some tatas tonight.” Yes, there were some eye-opening, potentially boneheaded maneuvers as well, but Episode 4 had pretty much everything I love about Survivor rolled up into one hot, juicy hour of television. It was almost enough to knock Jeff Probst off his feet (wait that happened too!).

We’re going to take a deep dive into tonight’s episode of Survivor and what it all means coming up. Here’s your last chance to turn back in case you haven’t yet seen Episode 4. Spoilers to come!

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