Recaps

Katie Cazorla - Second Wives Club recap

Last night’s Second Wives Club was all about miscommunication. Like, was the boat supposed to be a yacht? Is owning a nail salon worse than being an Instagram model? Is “junky” a compliment? Does “single” on Facebook mean single in real life? Oh the quandaries to ponder!

Tania Mehra is “busy” “planning” her wedding. Sometimes. No one is sure if this wedding is an actual thing or some sort of figment of Tania’s imagination where pigs fly on wings of diamonds and dinghies sail to Cannes with P. Diddy on  board. To keep up the pretense, Tania invites some of the girls to a tasting of potential wedding food. Katie Cazrola‘s appetite is lost by sitting next to Morisa Surrey‘s constant chatter. Like, can a Pisces eat fish or is that cannibalism? Is a farmed salmon still a real salmon?

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Sonja.Morgan.Bethenny.Frankel.Beige.White.Party.RHONY

Well, it’s been over a year and at least one sizable scandal later, but the Real Housewives Of New York are not ready to get off Tom D’Agostino‘s jock just yet! Now, Carole Radziwill has new intel that will fuel speculation about Luann de Lesseps‘ fiance (now husband) for the rest of the season to come. In the mean time, Bethenny Frankel tries to apologize to him at Dorinda Medley‘s charity event. It goes over about as well as a karaoke solo at an office party. In the daytime. Meanwhile, Sonja Morgan continues to bring the hammer down on Tinsley Mortimer‘s life choices – this time in the bedroom!

Dorinda is throwing a charity event for Beauty for Freedom, so she enlists Bethenny’s help – or at least, her commentary – in the effort. They meet out shopping, where Bethenny is more concerned with the “gigantic apartment” in SoHo she’s just purchased, which is 2,000 square feet larger than her current pad. She’s good at flipping properties, she says. And she’d like you to watch her real estate spinoff, please. She’s not good at forgiving Ramona, however, and has no plans of doing so. Though she does vow to be cordial when they’re forced together at social functions.

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Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

Well holy crap, that just happened! It was a rushed, whiz-bang episode of Survivor, featuring not one, but two Tribal Councils. Oh yeah, and it was also the last regular episode of the season before next week’s two-hour finale. The first Tribal of the evening was fairly straight-forward, but if you are like me, that last one left my head spinning. Let’s get to the bottom of what went down.

Be sure to read the fine print, as this week’s recap is non-transferable and can’t be stolen. Please only proceed if you have seen Episode 13 of Survivor: Game Changers. And while we WILL hit on all of the important developments, remember that this is more of a discussion and analysis and not a blow-by-blow account of how the episode played out.

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Below Deck Mediterranean recap

Last week’s episode of Below Deck Mediterranean showed us why a crew of young, good looking people who like to hook up with one another makes for great reality TV. We rejoin the Sirocco mid-blow up, with Chief Stew Hannah Ferrier and Deck Hand Bobby Giancola, continue to go toe-to-toe over what essentially boils down to a really bad case of blue balls for the night. That’s right, Viewers, they are drunkenly fighting over whether or not Hannah ruined Bobby’s chances of possibly hooking up with fellow Deck Hand Malia White.

Ahhh, this reminds me of the good ole days when I was young and carefree, going out and getting wasted with my friends on the Croatian coastline and then coming back to the yacht and arguing about who I get to hook up with. Oh wait, sorry, no that wasn’t me, because that isn’t a real problem or a real lifestyle that anyone can relate to so can these guys please spare me of all the dramatics? I know, I know, I sound bitter and I guess I am but I would like to move on from something so silly at this point. But alas, if we moved on, there wouldn’t be much for Bobby to throw a fit about and BOY, is he ever throwing a fit. My man Bobby really needs to get laid because he is just not letting this issue go and he’s still grumbling about it the next morning.

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Little Women: LA Recap: Fractured Friendships

This week we find out a few critical pieces of news on Little Women: LA. Like the results of Terra Jole’s biopsy (she’s fine), and that Tonya Banks actually has an activewear line! But tempers flare when Tonya leaves Jasmine Sorge and Briana Renee off of the guest list of her fashion show. Because Briana is a MODEL in her own mind high demand, don’t ya know?!? Elena Gant and Terra also face off after Terra was last seen storming out of Elena’s baptism party. In short: Everyone screams at everyone. Welcome to another season of Little Women Who Loathe One Another!

We begin on the pier, where last week we saw Terra telling Tonya and Jasmine about her abnormal mammogram. Tonya tears up, then flies into anger about Terra not telling her earlier. Jasmine says nothing. Although Terra wanted to share the news with Elena as well, things between them are fractured since the godparent debacle. Jasmine’s advice: Talk to Elena. Soon.

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ashley

Was it hot on last night’s Southern Charm Savannah or was it just me? And I’m not just talking about a faulty attic fan…temperatures were rising on the back nine at the country club! Prior to Ashley Borders‘ house catching fire, we learn a little about her relationship with husband Dennis. As she heads out for the fateful girls’ night, she admits that she and Dennis wed because she became pregnant with their son. When Izzie was a toddler, the pair divorced only to remarry a few years later for the sake of their son. Ashley reveals that she and Dennis haven’t had a sexual relationship since Izzie was born, but she realizes he was put in her life to save her son from this fire. She sees him in a different light now, and perhaps the flames of love will be rekindled.

Happy McCullough‘s family has been in Savannah for a really, really long time, and clearly she went to Savannah Country Day. While the expectation was she would settle down with a Savannah blue blood like herself, Episcopalian Happy is engaged to Atlanta native Azam who happens to be Muslim.While her very conservative grandmother has been nothing but supportive, her mother has been harder to convince. Happy’s mom dated Daniel’s dad for close to a decade, and he is Jewish. However, Happy’s mother argues that she didn’t marry him. Happy considers Daniel to be her brother even though their parents are no longer together, and he feels badly that her mother won’t come around where Azam is concerned.

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kathryn-jd-southern-charm

I have to say, I am enjoying this season of Southern Charm for no other reason than the lacking drama. It’s kind of nice when everyone gets along…for the most part, at least! Of course, with this crew, there are always whispers of underlying messiness. After Patricia Altschul and Whitney Sudler-Smith tried to set up Landon Clements and Thomas Ravenel at a small dinner party last week, I received an e-mail from a friend who saw the duo grabbing coffee at Starbucks this past Sunday (or as the rest of the world called it, Mother’s Day) with Kensie. Who knows if this intel is true, but if so, it’s a doozy! Maybe their budding romance isn’t just a story line? (or maybe it is?) That said, friends can have coffee together whenever they damn well please, but what a not-so-subtle burn to Kathryn Dennis if it’s accurate. Or perhaps she knows and everyone is getting along now?? Sure.

The most recent episode begins with everyone getting ready for another beautiful day in the Holy City. Kathryn heads to JD and Elizabeth’s house to catch up, and the trio discusses Jennifer Snowden’s sip-and-see. Kathryn can’t believe that Thomas was invited and she wasn’t, especially given that, according to Kathryn, Jennifer slept with T-Rav while Kathryn was pregnant. She definitely should have been included in the afternoon. Um, does she remember her lunch with Jennifer? Elizabeth skirts the issue, focusing on adorable Kensie, but JD rationalizes that it’s difficult to accommodate both at a party given their tumultuous past. As godparents, JD and Elizabeth want to see the couple co-parenting, and JD gives the same advice to Kathryn as he’s given to T-Rav. Just be civil for the children. Kathryn reveals that she has received a text message from Thomas, which is the first communication she’s had from him in over nine months. However, she’s not sure she’s ready to respond.

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Phaedra

Last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta Secrets Revealed episode may has well have been our official goodbye to Phaedra Parks. Her swan song, if you will. At one point she even licked a peach-shaped candle and mocked it for not being a real peach. Art imitating life!

Obviously there was much ado about the drama between Kandi Burruss and Porsha Williams, which we now know was all initiated by Phaedra. Ergo, it was quite funny when Phaedra and Sheree Whitfield visited a book store to see Sheree’s new book, and discussed Kandi and Porsha’s argument.

Phaedra guffawed that she needs to hook up a lie detector test up to some vaginal lips – and isn’t that so ironic?! Girl… you need one here, down there, and everywhere… from your tiny baby toe, to your eyebrow!

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