Recaps

LHHATL joseline jessica

So Love & Hip Hot Atlanta, right? I hope y’all didn’t crash Fandango’s site trying to get tickets to the movie that surely proves the apocalypse is near. What in the world? Are Stevie J. and Joseline Hernandez the next Brangelina? I digress…let’s backtrack a bit, shall we? Last night’s episode begins with the Jessica Dime/Joseline showdown, except it’s not an actual showdown. Both women want to remind the other of their memories of the past. Jessica wants Shanellequa Bennecourt to recall their friendship and their nights out on the town…and the evening they stayed in together, but all Joseline can recollect is that they once shared a locker at the strip club. For some reason, Joseline has a handful of singles she starts throwing at Jessica, who retaliates by throwing the dollar bill back in Joseline’s face. Before anyone can get bent out of shape over the dollar shower that’s happening, Jessica is escorted out by production assistants. Really, ladies? I had higher hopes for you both. 

Kirk Frost is working with new artist Ashley Nicole who is rightfully nervous about how his wife Rasheeda will feel about her upcoming performance given the recent back and forth between the two. Ashley is hoping to prove herself to Rasheeda so that her contract doesn’t get shredded due to her disrespectful behavior. Rasheeda prides herself on being a businesswoman, so she’s happy to oblige, and she vows to Erica Dixon that she know there is no funny business between Ashley and her husband. If this girl is going to make her money, that’s fine by Rasheeda. Of course, Ashley’s auto tune lip sync and barely there outfit leave Rasheeda with a bad taste in her mouth…that and the fact that Kirk introduced her as his “sexy new artist.” Not able to read her audience, Ashley approaches Rasheeda immediately after her song who is happy to give her constructive criticism. Ashley teases that Kirk picked out her outfit (it was classier than what she’d first chosen), but she needs Rasheeda’s input on her future career. Ashley is humble, and she wants Rasheeda and Kirk to be one happy family on her upcoming promotional tour. Erica can’t believe her ears, and Ashley has the somewhat good sense to exit before she further sticks her foot in her mouth. 

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Jeff-Lewis-Flipping-Out-Bravo

The wait is over! Grab your breath spray and your cherry chapstick, because our favorite OCD interior decorator Jeff Lewis and the gang are finally back for season 8 of Flipping Out! I have been giddy just watching Bravo previews, but now that we’re back inside Gramercy with Jeff, Zoila Chavez, Jenni Pulos, and Gage Edward (wah, wah), it’s like Christmas in July for this girl! 

We open at Gramercy, Jeff and Gage’s gorgeous home, where Jeff is rising before the crack of dawn to demand coffee from Zoila and to wake Gage up via intercom so they can get the day started. Jeff interviews that he is sick of clients and their high maintenance needs, and wonders if he couldn’t just make more money developing products and flipping houses? He feels like he is aging “at a dramatic rate” because business is so stressful. Gage joins Jeff in the kitchen to get his caffeine IV drip going, updating Jeff about his client appointments that day. Jeff feels like they are chasing their tails, too busy, and working seven days a week. Gage is used to a frantic pace, having grown up working in his parents’ Nebraska businesses seven days a week since childhood. Jeff admits his business wouldn’t be nearly as successful without Gage’s help these past six years that they’ve been partners – both in work and love. “I mean, if something happened to Gage, I’d lose a lot of money,” quips Jeff. “That can’t happen.” Ah, that’s why I love this man.

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Sonja Morgan snaps!

When Snapped meets Real Housewives Of New York insanity (and hilarity) ensue. In what has become my favorite episode like ever, last night was the perfect genesis of drama (and melodrama) meets fun and friendship. Keep it comin’ Bravo. 

The ladies are all Scary Island 2.0, but this time it’s Sonja Morgan having a total break from reality (gummy bears optional). After Sonja and Bethenny Frankel went head-to-head over whose head was more screwed up, the ladies chowed some lobster and went to bed. Drama makes a mama cranky and sleepy. Rather, it makes most people cranky and sleepy – it gives Bethenny and Ramona Singer a crackling energy. 

They stay up discussing the Sonja-sodes (the Sonja Episodes) and Ramona confesses to being worried about her bestie. Both agree Sonja is turning to alcohol to cope with loneliness – something ironically they can relate to. This spirals into a truly touching conversation where Ramona opens up to Bethenny about her divorce from Mario.

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Cori-Goldfarb-Crying-Secrets-And-Wives-Bravo

If last night’s Secrets and Wives revealed anything, it’s that the men in this circle are bloody awful. And the women who love them appear clueless. But when a Fire Island trip brings the women together during which tempers flare, these ladies show how to get over a reality TV fight in 3.5 seconds, which is more than I can say for the Real Housewives of any city on the planet. 

We pick up at Cori Goldfarb’s party, where Susan Doneson’s husband Jonathan is making an absolute drunken fool of himself, verbally abusing his hostess with such gems as “Shut the f*k up!” Cori breaks down in tears when Susan is unable to control her attack dog man. While an embarrassed Susan tries to do damage control with the group, Jonathan corners Cori in the kitchen to demand that she “not be upset.” That’s as much of an apology as she’s going to get out of this scumbag for now, I guess. On the ride home, Susan tries to explain how to act like a human to Jonathan while he promptly falls asleep in the cab.

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dance moms abby 2

Remember that time that Abby Lee Miller pitted sister against sister and lost her cool anytime she felt threatened by another competing studio? Of course, you do…it was only last week! This week she serves up even more drama on Dance Moms, ousting Kira and Kalani and prompting many cry faces from her dancers.

The episode begins with the ALDC meeting in her shell of a new studio for the pyramid. She claims her contractor has promised that they will be dancing in the space in three weeks, my my very meager knowledge of renovations says otherwise. Abby begins by harping on the group’s second place finish the most recent competition, and then congratulates a missing MacKenzie on scoring a bit guest spot on a Nickelodeon show. She also reminds the troupe that MackZ is her last first place winner, and all of the girls now standing in front of her are just first losers. Jill and Kira interrupt to say that the girls are suffering from the lack of dance classes being offered in LA…which is none. When Holly agrees, Abby draws the line…the ALDC can either take classes or pursue stardom, but not both.

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RHOC Recap

Last night on Real Housewives Of Orange County the ladies put aside their differences, pettiness, and spite in the name of philanthropy. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 

In Napa, at the Bello’s fabulous mansion, celebrating COLLETTE, the fabulous non-champagne occupying the niche market of Methode Champenoise, aka sparkling wine coolers, drama is ensuing. When in fabulous surroundings, act not fabulous! Shannon Beador and Meghan KING Edmonds are arguing over being non-charitable regarding Meghan’s wine fundraiser for juvenile diabetes (because nothing says diabetic and kids like wine!).

Meghan doesn’t understand why Shannon doesn’t want to help her host this event, because although Meghan is tall enough to reach the sky, she has difficulty understanding that the world doesn’t revolve around her. I mean, OF COURSE Shannon would want to help some young upstart third wife of a has-been athlete, because charity starts at home among your RHOC kin. DUH!

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lhhatl joseline

So, there definitely wasn’t a lot of love being shown on last week’s Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. Margeaux expressed her desire to separate from husband and sex tape star extraordinaire Nikko, and Khadiyah sent Yung Joc packing after he couldn’t commit. After all, he’s got all the members of his baby mama club wanting to dry his tears in the wake of their break-up. Best friends Mimi Faust and Ariane had it out over Mimi’s participation in said tape’s leak, and Kalenna and Tony faced tension in light of his new investment…and his decision to no longer manage his wife’s career. 

It seems the only couple that is doing halfway decently is Rasheeda and Kirk Frost. Funny how quickly the tides change! The episode begins with Joc and Rasheeda discussing the statuses of their respective relationships. Rasheeda chides Joc that he can’t keep hopping from one ex to the next, and Joc changes the subject to share how much Kirk claims to love his wife these days. Joc requests that Rasheeda intervene on behalf of he and KD, and she agrees. Anything to get him off her and Kirk’s sofa! Across town, Jessica Dime is meeting with Dawn. She’s tired of letting Mimi barely manage her career. The women are getting massages and complaining about Mimi’s lack of professionalism. Jessica wonders when she’ll get to work with Stevie J., but Dawn reminds her that Stevie isn’t going to be doing anything anytime soon. Jessica needs to come on board with Dawn’s management, and Dawn promises a big payout for appearances.

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Sonja Morgan is defensive

Real Housewives Of New York – when it’s too hot in the city, despite the arctic winter chill, escape to the islands of Turks and Caicos but bring the arctic chill with you! I truly did love this episode – it was old times RHONY – real friends, serious drama that wasn’t fake or fabricated, yet light-hearted frivolity and laughs. 

I’ve come to love the friendship of Bethenny Frankel and Luann de LessepsI think they deserve their own bestie name: Bethann? Luannethy? I’ve also come to accept Kristen Taekman as being silent, but necessary – her facial expressions are the omnipotent narrator and her outfits are a pleasant diversion from such atrocities as macramé, lucite stripper heels, or neon yellow bikinis purchased from the MTV Spring Break store in 1993. 

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