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Farrah Abraham Vivid Cabaret LA Launch Grand Opening Party

Farrah Abraham took some time out from her Celebrity Sex Tape press tour to bash her Teen Mom co-stars, Catelynn Lowell, Maci Bookout, and Amber Portwood. As we all know, Farrah think she's perfect, and the word humble is not in her dictionary. Just kidding – one peek at her portfolio of literacy tells us she doesn't even own a dictionary. 

Speaking to Starcasm, Farrah said she can't bear to follow her former co-stars, "I wish them all the best – but it does make me very sad to still see them make poor choices." Seriously? Because a DUI and a PORN are great choices?!? 

"I can't even tell you – if I had to go through all the same struggles again that I had to deal with the first time with Sophia – and I did not like that and I knew better – it would crush me," added Farrah. Um, what? Can I buy a vowel? "So I'm very sad the other Teen Moms don't take that as seriously as they should." 

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Farrah Abraham

So, I think we can all agree that nothing says Happy Friday to my Reality Tea friends like a Farrah Abraham post with a huge close-up picture, right?

The Couples Therapy singleton gave two in-depth interviews recently, one to Starcasm and one to THZ, but I pulled only the best quotes from each to spare you repetition. Not to mention a Farrah induced coma. 

Farrah celebrated her 23rd birthday last week. How does she feel about that? 

"I feel like it is the right age to be, which is good to say, because sometimes I’m like ‘Ugh my life’ and I’m trying to handle everything fame has gotten me," said Farrah. "I’m 23 – and it feels right!" Raise your hand if you're already lost. :)

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Being Dads Teen Mom Special Ryan Edwards

Are you ready for yet another Teen Mom special? If not, get ready, because Being Dad: A Teen Mom Special airs Sunday.

Ryan Edwards, Corey Simms, and Jo Rivera seem to be the focus, as MTV said we will see "Jo and Vee consider marriage, Corey work on co-parenting with Leah while having a wife, and Ryan move out on his own." To what extent Adam Lind, Gary Shirley, and Tyler Baltierra will be featured is unclear.

The mastermind behind Teen Mom Truth (Jenelle Evans) read MTV's caption and surmised that Corey's current wife, Miranda, is jealous of Corey's ex-wife, Leah Calvert. Um, what? Has she seen Miranda? She is gorgeous. Not to mention she carries a gun for a living. Miranda should be leery of Leah's penis flytrap but certainly not jealous.

Being Dad: A Teen Mom Special airs Sunday at 11/10c am & 8/7c pm. The sneak peek below features Jo, Vee, and Isaac

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Jenelle Evans Baby Shower

Teen Mom 2 star Jenelle Evans, who is 9 months pregnant and due June 29, celebrated with a baby shower over the weekend. "Had the first baby shower today," Jenelle tweeted. "Had a great time and got a lot of awesome gifts." Of course dad-to-be Nathan Griffith, Jace, and Barbara Evans were there too. 

Jenelle announced the pregnancy – which they planned – in December and the gender reveal – it's a boy – in February. Nathan and Jenelle decided to name their son Kaiser, which means Emperor in German, and they decorated his nursery with a king theme.  

Jenelle shared pictures from the baby shower via Facebook. You know, I have to give credit where credit is due, she looks happy and healthy. Happy can be faked for the camera – healthy not so much, so Jenelle's doing something right.

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Farrah Abraham 23rd birthday

Farrah Abraham's first erotic novel, Celebrity Sex Tape: In The Making, hits the stores next month. That means it is going to be a very long – but oh so entertaining – month. Yay! Last week, the Couples Therapy lone bird bragged about her portfolio of literature and challenged E.L. James to keep up with her, and a good time was had by all. 

So, today's good news is, Farrah has more to say about her book and life. The bad news is that I have pictures from Farrah's 23rd birthday party too!

Why did Farrah decide to write an erotic trilogy? "The whole sex symbol – that hype – and I'm single and 23, I felt now is the proper time for me to write about some fantasies and some great things that luckily I turned into a positive." Why I love Farrah so much – she never fails to turn "great" things into "positives". 

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Farrah Abraham Celebrity Sex Tape Book Cover

As Farrah Abraham continues to promote her erotic trilogy – Celebrity Sex Tape – she continues to remind me how important it is for my young children to learn vocabulary and how to put words together to form coherent sentences. "I really enjoy at this time of my life writing about sex," Farrah tells FOX 411. "I think it is because I am 22 – and I am kind of single. What better way to express yourself in a positive way than writing. I really enjoy writing." 

When will Farrah begin to express herself in English?

So, the Couples Therapy singleton says we'll see her on VH1 again soon, but she claims reality TV isn't her primary focus right now. "I am looking forward to grow my portfolio with literacy and the books and different genres. Hopefully I'll write a business book and I'll do more fictional things." Or hopefully not. Also? Farrah expects E.L. James to feel pressured to write more to keep up with her amazing portfolio of literacy

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Farrah Abraham

Book one of Farrah Abraham's trilogy, Celebrity Sex Tape, will be released July 1 – and I could not be more excited about it. No I haven't lost my mind. I do not plan to read Farrah's smut book, but this also means Farrah needs to give interviews to promote it! I can't stand Farrah, the person, but I love Farrah, the interviewee. Bring on the interviews!

Farrah sat down with Huff Post Live's Ricky Camilleri earlier today to talk about Celebrity Sex Tape and say awesome things like her trilogy is the next stop in her "portfolio of literacy" and reality TV taught her to be "more better at communication." Let's have a moment of silence for Ricky. He deserves it. 

Farrah introduced the main character of her trilogy, Fallon Opal, and Ricky asked, "Not Farrah?"  She insisted, "Not me. I think we all use our inspiration and experiences of life to build our stories but this is very different from anything that I've ever had in my life. But I noticed through some drama that I went through this past year of my own sex tape that this is a popular issue." 

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Jenelle Evans Nathan Griffith

All is right in the world when Jenelle Evans has "love" in her life – with a man, mind you. Her son's love isn't enough. And the Teen Mom 2 star recently took to Twitter to gush about her man of one year now Nathan Griffith. "I'm so blessed to have the relationship with [Nathan] like I do," she tweeted. "Breaking up every other day is a sad and unhappy relationship." 

You see, with her due date (June 29) fast approaching, Jenelle feels the need to try to convince herself us that she and Nathan are the real deal and more in love than ever. So sad. Thanks to her Twitter addiction and MTV's cameras, we saw a completely different year than Jenelle's deluded mind saw. 

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