While everyone else appears to be growing up, planning for the future and attempting to compromise (albeit accompanied by hysterical sobbing), Jenelle gets stupider by the day. Instead of ultrasounds she needs a brainscan for this amazing condition she's developed of never being able to make a rational choice – EVER!
So let's start with Jenelle, shall we. Get your barf bag ready!
Jenelle just took a pregnancy test and it said "pregnant!". Babs is teaching Jace to count while Jenelle is scrutinizing the pregnancy test trying to count the lines – one is a very faint pink. Her friend Tori (of the bright red hair) is there to deliver the Come To Jesus lecture and help Jenelle decipher the test. As if Jenelle who's been pregnant as many times as Michelle Duggar can't figure this out. Maybe the second pink line is caused by the reflection of Tori's hair?
Well, I'm not going to say this is at all surprising. No sooner had Jenelle Evans' husband gotten released from prison that there is now a warrant issued for his arrest. It's shocking to me that the Teen Mom 2 star wants to divorce Courtland Rogers when the pair clearly has so much in common. Bonding over multiple jail stints totally should have been the strong foundation on which to build their marriage.
But, alas, Courtland is likely on his way back to big house due to recent antics…and by antics, I mean stealing from a friend who was trying to help him get into treatment. Don't bite the hand feeds you, Courtland! It seems that his pal Katie McMillan invited him into her home at Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina and hoped to get him help for his addiction issues. He repaid her by stealing, and subsequently trying to pawn, her jewelry.
This week us lucky ducks get a double-dose of Farrah Abraham! First on the MTV special (is it fair to call something that tragic and terrible "special" which implies good?) Being Farrah and then again on Couples Therapy. Woooh!
And since two hours of Farrah on my TV this week are not enough we get to hear even more about her shenanigans in the media. Oh joy! First up, since Farrah likes loves plastic surgery something awful, she is totally fine with her 5-year-old daughter getting it in the future. Like she might have to get Sophia's binky surgically removed!
"I have to say, we very much believe that we are pretty,” Farrahtells Radar Online. “We are secure people. But if there’s something that she can’t live with, then yes go for it!” This from the woman who waxed her three-year-old's eyebrows.
Farrah does agree Sophia should wait until she's an adult to get nipped and tucked. “If she would like to do that, she’s her own adult," she rambles. "And … if it’s for a real reason.”
In case you missed it, the Teen Mom 2 star crashed his car last week. Adam, who was pulled from the wreckage by a witness, suffered a concussion. What's left of his Corvette is burnt to a crisp. The elderly couple Adam hit suffered broken bones. All in all, they're extremely lucky to be alive, but broken bones in an 87 year old and a 94 year old are a big deal in my opinion.
Adam, 23, has been charged with five crimes: reckless driving, driving with a revoked license, driving with a suspended license, driving an unlicensed vehicle, and not having insurance. Sioux Falls Police confirmed neither drugs nor alcohol played a part in the crash. Just stupidity.
Being Farrah entails many things. It does not entail telling the truth, accepting responsibility for your actions, or acting like an adult – just an adult film star.
We check in with the former Teen Mom as if we haven't seen enough of her on Couples Therapy, and Farrah Abraham tells us she's raising Sophia alone – or not because she's actually living with her dad Michael and traveling all over for her big important career of not being in the adult entertainment industry or taking a break from reality TV.
While Farrah is off being Farrah, Michael is actually raising Sophia in the huge enormous house Farrah's not being a porn star career paid for, but she doesn't want to talk about all that. Like ick! Now that MTV is back, so is Farrah. Lucky Sophia!
Debra and Michael are now divorced. Debra moved 1000 miles away and was happy in isolation until MTV knocked on her door with cameras. "How did you find me?" she whispers. "Leave me alone…" Next time try the witness protection program, Debra! And try wearing a less flamboyant coat than that full-length leopard-print number.
Last summer,Teen Mom 2star Adam Lind bought two Corvettes with his most recent paycheck from MTV. Which is utterly ridiculous considering Adam has a bad driving record, including three DUIs, and probably doesn't have a license.
Yesterday, KELO News reported that Adam was in a fiery car crash that left his Corvette burnt to a crisp. Thankfully neither Adam nor the elderly couple he hit were seriously injured in the crash. They are all very lucky to be alive.
Last night the ladies of Teen Mom 2 complained a lot, made future plans, and in some cases displayed a delusion so deep the Pacific Ocean way out in California couldn't engulf it.
Kailyn Lowry is never happy – even when there's cake. Even when there's caramel + cake. She literally is the Snuffleupagus of reality TV. She's stressed by wedding planning and Jo not doing what she wants, then Javi has to go and stress her out more by surprising her with keys to the new house!
Instead of celebrating, Kail snuffles about how much it would suck if they had to move because of Jo. Say it with me now: should have thought of that BEFORE buying a house! Javi, sweet Javi, marvels that he's twenty, a homeowner, and a father. Say it with me now: Should have thought of that BEFORE hooking up with Kail!