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Teen Mom

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Jenelle Evans has been on a downward spiral since being committed (by her mother) to a mental health facility in November. Since December, the Teen Mom 2 star married Courltand Rogers, got pregnant, very publicly "broke up" with Courtland, reunited with ex-fiance Gary Head, and had a miscarriage (and that's just the super condensed version).
 
Last month, an inside source admitted that Jenelle has become "too much of a liability" for MTV. What to do? What to do?
 
Well, at MTV's request, Jenelle has voluntarily checked herself into a rehab facility. I hope it's better than the ineffectual rehab Amber Portwood visited on Teen Mom. Several sources have confirmed Jenelle's whereabouts… but why is she there? The answer depends on whom you ask. 
 
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Another day in the life of the girls of Teen Mom 2's craziness.  I feel like the girls are starting to morph into one another.  Leah Messer Simms Calvert is starting to act a lot like Chelsea Houska when it comes to getting over old boyfriends, and Kailyn Lowry is getting to know the inside of courtroom almost as familiarly as Jenelle Evans.  What is going on with these girls?  Let's get on with it, shall we?

It's been nearly two weeks since Kailyn or Isaac has seen Jo.  The hearing for her Protection From Abuse Order is coming up, and Kailyn is going to see her lawyer to prevent Jo from harassing her.  However, she admits to her friend that she really just filed it to prove her point.  Once at the attorney's office, her lawyer asks that her friend remove Isaac from the meeting so they aren't talking about his dad in front of him.  Kailyn suggests that the pair take anger management classes, and her attorney recommends a co-parenting class the two could take together.  Kailyn's eyes light up at the thought of it…more time with Jo!

At her new digs, Chelsea is caking on the make-up and trying not to think about the fact that Aunt Flo still hasn't made her monthly visit.  She hasn't talked to Adam since they hooked up, but Chelsea can't worry about him as it's her first day of beauty school and Aubree's first day of daycare.  She is such a cute little girl, and I only hope that her mother's whining won't screw her up for years to come.  You can practically see the excitement in Aubree's eyes as she's passed off to the daycare administrator.  "Freedom!"

It's hard for Jenelle to focus on schoolwork now that Kieffer's out of jail.  She explains to a friend that she would probably be with Kieffer if Gary wasn't in the picture, but Kieffer isn't what is best for her.  Gary has a job and a car, so he's clearly the mature choice. 

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On today's episode of These Are The Days Of Jenelle Evans Life:

According to the melodramatic Teen Mom 2 star, Courtland Rogers caused her to have the "most horrible day ever" and now she regrets ever marrying him. Can you feel the passion behind those words? Most. Horrible. Day. Ever. 

Considering the mess that is Jenelle's life, I braced myself for what could have possibly led to the "most horrible day ever" and continued reading. 

Oh… the anticipation.

Jenelle tweeted, “Found out all of my clothes got pawned at Platos Closet today by @coutryb11, so upset.”

Oh… it gets worse.

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We all know that Teen Mom 2's Jenelle Evans goes through boyfriends like tissues…and then she recycles them.  I likely couldn't put together a timeline of her paramours if my life depended on it.  

Of course, each of her past loves/fiances/husbands/boyfriends all want their fifteen plus minutes of fame, and it appears that Jace's father Andrew Lewis is no exception.  Also trying to extend his notoriety is Jenelle's soon-to-be-ex-husband Courtland Rogers, although he's going about it in a way that will likely wind him up in jail.  Oh gracious!  Will these guys (and Jenelle, for that matter) ever learn?

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MTV certainly didn't give us the opportunity to miss the girls of Teen Mom 2, did they?  Just last week, Dr. Drew Pinsky had his regular sit-down with Leah Messer Simms Calvert, Jenelle Evans, Chelsea Houska, and Kailyn Lowry.  While all the moms seemed to be in a better place when speaking with Drew (well, maybe not Leah's love triangle), they quickly remind us that the moments of normalcy and good decisions are fleeting with this bunch. 

Let's get started with the stupidity, shall we?  Chelsea's friend comes by to visit, and Chelsea whines that her IUD fell out the other day when she was going to the bathroom.  TMI.  Her friend inquires as to whether Chelsea saw her doctor, but Chelsea didn't have time…Adam came over to see her for the first time in ages.  Not shockingly, they pair ends up getting it on…sans condom, of course.  Don't worry, y'all.  She won't get pregnant because he pulled out before finishing.  TMITMITMITMI!!!!  I wonder how she thinks Aubree came to be…Her friend urges her to make better choices, and Chelsea whines that she doesn't have her normal "giddy for Adam" feelings.  That's definitely something to be proud of as you await your period, moron!

At least Kailyn is making better choices, right?  Oh wait…no.  She gets upset that Jo's girlfriend is over at his house when she drops off Isaac, and she and Jo get into a physical altercation that ends with her filing for a temporary order of protection from abuse.  Violence is not the answer, but I will never understand her double standard of allowing Javi around Isaac after one date while Jo's serious girlfriend is a problem.  Kailyn's friend Mark (who is totally in love with her) comes over to hear her story.  Mark tries to give her some sound advice, but she won't listen.  I can't believe the language she uses in front of her son.  Kailyn explains that she'll have temporary full custody until their hearing in two weeks.  Mark just seems totally befuddled at his friend's behavior.

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How sweet! Kailyn Lowry and Javi Marroquin were reunited after a three-month separation on Valentine's Day!

Kail and Isaac traveled to Texas to see Javi graduate from Air Force Basic Training. In true Teen Mom fashion, Kail shared her happy day with her Twitter followers. "I could start crying any second now and I haven't even seen Javi yet," Kail tweeted. "I love my followers! Y'all are so supportive!"

Yesterday morning, the Teen Mom 2 star excitedly shared, "I get to see my husband today!"

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Oh sweet lord Jesus, save us all from these two deplorable famewhores! In the latest travail of Jenelle Evans and the life she can't control (is this girl a Lifetime Movie plot or what?!) she and Courtland Rogers are taking allllll their dirty laundry to the media and twitter cause you know they got nothing else going on. Might I suggest getting a job! It really helps fill-up the day. 

First of all, in case you weren't aware Courtland was in the hospital on suicide watch, claiming he couldn't deal with Jenelle leaving him. He has since found that "no girl is worth taking your own life."  

The Teen Mom 2 star was fine with his hospitalization, because "a source" ran to RadarOnline claiming she was afraid of her ex. 

Jenelle is terrified that Courtland is going to come after her when he gets out,” the source reveals. “She knows he wants to talk to her and probably see her, and he knows where she is usually so she’s afraid that he is going to do something stupid and confront her in person.” 

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It's that special time of the season we've been waiting on for what seems like eons…the season finale of Teen Mom 2.  Last night, the girls and their children/parents/boyfriends/users sat down for a two hour chit chat with MTV's resident "therapist" Dr. Drew Pinsky.  Wait…what's that you say?  It wasn't the season finale?  Mid-season finale?  What the–?  I have never heard of such a thing.  You know what this means, right?

Let me break it down for you.  Remember how last week everything wrapped up ever so nicely in the calmest ninety minutes in the show's history?  Jenelle Evans and mom Barbara seemed to be mending their relationship.  Leah Messer Simms Calvert Insert Next Husband's Name Here realized she needed to move on from Corey now that she's pregnant with her new fiance's baby.  Kailyn Lowry began a new romance and was working to co-parent with Jo, and Chelsea Houska finally passed her GED.  Things were in a good place.  

Of course, leave it to MTV to make sure the true finale will be total chaos.  Next week the insanity of broken relationships, drug abuse, and violence spirals out of control when we are treated to the midseason premiere.  I can't keep up, so let's just focus on last night's drama, shall we?  Take it away, Dr. Drew

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