Katie Maloney is newly engaged, gainfully employed, and in a good place with her friends these days. All things ex-BFF and Vanderpump Rules star Stassi Schroeder is decidedly not! While THE RETURN OF STASSI! seems to be the Japanese horror film headline everywhere one turns on VPR these past weeks, Katie says she’s trying to focus on the more positive aspects of her life. She does admit that seeing her old friend squirm under the expert interrogation/verbal spanking Lisa Vanderpump doled out was a bit uncomfortable to watch this week. But she agreed with Lisa’s astute points, just the same!
Before Katie breaks down the Stassi Situation, she reflects on the “perfect” time she and the gang spent in Hawaii – that is, until Jax Taylor decided to play petty sunglasses thief. When she found out about Jax’s arrest, Katie admits, ” I had no words and still have a difficult time articulating how frustrating and disappointing that day was. We had all separated for mere hours and for something this catastrophic to have happened is purely mind numbing.”
But no thank you, Tom 2, for the reference to your flaccid penis. Katie Maloney, please get off Scheana Marie‘s drama train and onto your man. If the way Tom 2 was making out with that Hooters chicken wing is any indication, that was a man deprived and we know how Katie feels about make-out cheating!
The Kristen Doute Apology Tour continues on, gathering steam by adding Stassi Schroeder, and growing into a cloud of vicissitude by adding Jax.
In Hawaii the group continues having a conniption fit over Lala Kent‘s existence. After Lala confronted Brittany Cartwright about Jax’s lying, and then confronted Jax about his lying, to which Jax lied about lying, Lala retreated to her hotel to cry into the complimentary towels. Reality TV is so hard! She just needs her mommy! But, as Lala pointed out, Faith also took off her top, but no one was yelling at her! Katie Maloney, a hypocrite? Nooooooo…
Vanderpump Rules villainStassi Schroeder and Nashville’sChris Carmack were Andy Cohen‘s guests on Watch What Happens Live last night. Stassi dished on her friendship withKristen Doute, the status of her relationship with Patrick, and more. Jax Taylor released a statement about his arrest in Hawaii.
Stassi says that she and Kristen have been friends again for a while now. “It was a slow process. I didn’t speak to her for a year, then every month after that I felt like it was giving another inch and then eventually it just got back to the way it used to be,” explains Stassi. “I’m really happy about that. I love Kristen.”
Remember when Stassi Schroeder told the world, “I am the Devil. And don’t you forget it”…? Well, on this week’s Vanderpump Rules, she’s baaaaaaaaaack! The Return of Stassi is poised to shake up frenemy circles at SUR this Monday, but viewers are uncertain about what Stassi’s presence will really mean for cast dynamics. Will Stassi’s head spin around? Will she Jedi-mind-control Jax Taylor into tattooing her name on his forehead? Will she levitate new girl Lala Kent above the sticky tables of SUR, slamming her into the ice machine, Kylo Ren style? (A girl can dream!!!)
Sadly, previews suggest what Stassi really does on the upcoming VPR is a whole lot of whimpering and grovelling, perhaps in an attempt to ingratiate herself to the friends and former boss who she’d formerly cut out of her life. But not everyone is buying what Stassi is selling. Except for Kristen Doute, who claims, “I was really excited,” adding, “I think I was the only one.”
Scheana Marie has already shared her justification for why she texted Ariana Madix‘s mom to complain that Tom Sandoval stole her best friend and like made her do adulting, but now it’s Ariana’s turn to explain just what made Scheana’s texts so offensive and surprising.
“I was just really disappointed and confused,” says Ariana. “Tom truly has always gone above and beyond for his friends, especially Scheana and Shay, so I couldn’t understand why she would be so rude about him. She said some seriously awful things.”