On last night’s episode of Vanderpump Rules, Tom Sandoval introduced us to a bass guitar bedecked with dildos, which made more sense than almost everything else happening with this group.
Katie Maloney has been waiting and hoping, begging and whining, pleading and crying to get engaged to Tom Schwartzsince the dawn of Twitter. Maybe even before in the prehistoric age of Facebook. It finally happened so OMG! WEDDING! is her entire life.
Katie bombards Lisa Vanderpump and begs to have her engagement party – a casual BBQ for 50 or so sane people plus one full-scale rampaging case of psychosis (Kristen Doute) and one bitch ghost with a superiority complex who is temporarily angelic in order to wheedle her way back in (Stassi Schroeder). After some hesitation, Lisa decides to let Katie and Tom have the party at Villa Rosa, BUT! Kristen and Stassi are not allowed to come! Katie agrees so fast heads spun exorcist style. Some re-friend she is.
Andy jumps right in and asks Stassi, Katie, Kristen, and Scheana to explain some of their worst moments on Vanderpump Rules. (This is only a half hour show, right?) First up, Kristen sleeping with James Kennedy, on the top of his car, just a couple minutes after he made her cry, “It wasn’t the way that he said that it happened. He is a liar. But it was a huge mistake. HUGE.”
Jax Taylor is the unequivocal villain onVanderpump Rules, but he’s not shying away from that portrayal, nor is he pretending to be anyone but himself for the sake of fame. Quite the opposite, actually, Jax is tired of Hollywood and ready to live a normal life!
In a revealing new interview, Jax is unabashed about his televised mistakes and flippant about his future stardom. “I hate [Hollywood],” he laments. “I hate it. It’s nothing. It’s bullshit.”
Jax, a former model, was actually in the process of leaving SUR and LA behind to become a firefighter in Florida when Lisa Vanderpump persuaded him to stay, because ‘something big’ was about to happen, which would change his life.
James says his inspiration for the album was “the ocean” and “the deep waters planet Earth has to offer.” Don’t Look Down follows James, joined by Max Todd, through his day. Apparently, his days start with a shot of tequila before he even gets out of bed… “to make the start of the day as rockstar as possible.”
When Katie and Scheana Marie rolled up unannounced on Stassi and Kristen Doute’s “girls trip” in Palm Springs, Lisa admits, “I see a glimpse of sincerity when you see Stassi’s reaction because she’s taken off guard by the arrival of Katie. I think Katie’s plan was ultimately a good one. It’s not one that I recommended, but I think, actually, she was right with her tactic.”
Does anyone else feel like we’re missing something on VanderpumpRules? Besides the obvious lack of maturity? It just feels like we’re not getting the full story regarding TomSandoval and ArianaMadix.
Everyone seems to really despise Tom and Ariana all of the sudden? I refuse to believe the “Dislike” button plaguing these two like a cloud of Axe Body Spray that you got zapped with by the Costco sample lady, is purely about all their friends suddenly lovingKristen Doute. Honestly, has anyone even given a reason for why they want to hang out with Kristen soooo badly. A reason other than “Kristen is FUN!”? Fun does not totally a friendship make.
Other than Saint Kristen pulling of a coup d’etat by winning back the approval of the most-exalted masses of SUR, Stassi Schroeder‘s re-entry into the friend group is causing major anxiety for JaxTaylor and ScheanaMarie, the two worst people in We-Ho!
They dig right in, wanting more info on Stassi’s now infamous ‘sex tape’. Stassi reveals, “Honestly, I only did it like twice.” She then compares it to people who get pregnant after one try, because her sex tape happened after one try. Brandy asks questions, trying to get a better visual of the whole thing. Stassi was naked, alone in the video, and it was filmed on a phone that was propped. “I don’t like reliving this.” Julie and Brandy try to convince her that it probably looks hot. Stassi admits that Scheana told her it looked hot when she saw it. “That did not make me feel better at all.”