Reality Tea

teresa and joe giudice plead guilty on rhonj

Last night on Real Housewives Of New Jersey everyone’s favorite lawless Housewife plead guilty to 4 counts of federal fraud.

After praying to God, Teresa Giudice put on her best purple fur coat, forced husband Joe to color-coordinate in a show of solidarity and admitted that you know, maaaaaaaybe, ok posssssssilby, well actually definitely she bought too many sequined bikinis with money illegally obtained. But it’s like Oops – lots of people do this – lots of people commit mortgage fraud so they can have big fancy re-done house showy-offy parties for houses they can’t afford, so why is this happening to her?! WHY?! Why is the government making Gia cry by demanding her parents go to court and possibly jail. Like UGH. But Teresa being Teresa, she just buries her head in a vat of sequins and covers her eyes with her hairline, and drinks another glass of Fabellini. 

With all of that said and done, Melissa Gorga and Dina Manzo feel sorry for Teresa that she’s under so much stress so they decide to plan a vacation to Florida. Like hey, you broke the law – let’s celebrate! 

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Dina Manzo

Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey focused on Joe and Teresa Giudice‘s plea deal, Amber Marchese‘s over-the-top dramatics, and Dina Manzo‘s charity Project Ladybug. Dina touched on the drama and teased what’s to come in her blog. Florida = the new Scary Island? Pass the popcorn!

To start, Dina talked Project Ladybug and Childhood Cancer Awareness month.

“PERFECT TIMING! I love how this episode has a Project Ladybug focus. Did you know that September is Childhood Cancer awareness month? Yeah, not many people know that, for some CRAZY reason it’s not as prevalent as other awareness months,” shared Dina. “I need a favor, whoever is reading this, if you can post that on your social media sites, I’ll love you forever.”

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marysol patton office

The Real Housewives of Miami’s Marysol Patton may have been unlucky in love throughout her time on the Bravo show, marrying in season one and separating in season two.  And her frenemy, Lea Black even implied that is was a green card marriage at a catty dinner party.

But now, Marysol is reaching out to another Bravolebrity in order to change her luck in the romance department.

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 rhom

On this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Melbourne, Chyka Keebaugh has invited all the ladies to a much-needed beach getaway. Jackie Gillies and Lydia Schiavello kick things off with a shopping spree to stock up on zebra-patterned caftans from a nearby caftan specialty boutique (these exist). Lydia models a modest Grecian dress and a Jackie steps out in a teeny, tiny leopard-print mini spandex dress and aptly pokes fun at herself by saying she looks like “a stick with big tits”. Ha! Meanwhile, Lydia can only muster, “Oh Wow” (remember, she is just sooooo articulate) the entire time they shop.

Andrea Moss finishes up her packing, ensures her nanny has the 735-point checklist and off they go to airport where the group will be taking private helicopters to Queensland for their vacay.  Surprise, surprise Gina Liano is late. Again.  Janet Roach is about to cut a b*#%h if Gina doesn’t arrive in like 5 seconds. Gina rolls up (how many colbalt blue dresses can one have in their wardrobe anyway??!!) and is hoping everyone is chill for the trip.  

teresa and joe giudice plead guilty on rhonj

Real Housewives Of New Jersey is finally picking up speed in the drama department. And with the release of the mid-season trailer it’s assured that the best is yet to come. Starting with… Teresa Giudice heading to court with husband Joe Giudice to plead guilty to a 41 count federal fraud indictment. Oops we spent money and lied about it! 

Teresa and Joe ended up pleading to 4 and 5 counts respectively with Teresa possibly serving up to 27 months in prison. Their sentencing was just delayed again until October 2nd. This is really going to mess up Bravo’s filming plans isn’t it? They’re hoping to capture Teresa and Joe’s sentencing for the season finale, of course. 

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alexis-vow-renewal

This weekend Alexis Bellino renewed her vows to Jim Bellino in an over-the-top wedding that wasn’t a wedding on David Tutera‘s CELEBrations. And I can see why all of Alexis’ Real Housewives of Orange County castmates couldn’t stand her because Alexis needs sedatives – or some sort of psychiatric drugs. She constantly throws tantrums and is mega attention seeking! 

Alexis wants David at her beck and call and treats him like ‘the help’. Two queens don’t make a right!  To add to the drama, David is also in the middle of planning his daughter Cielo’s first birthday party and is strapped for time. 

Jim surprised Alexis with the concept of a ten-year anniversary renewal by hiring poor to David show up at their house unannounced while Alexis was ‘reading’ the Bible (translation: looking at a children’s picture book version of a Bible while wearing knock-off Chanel). Jim’s surprise gift is that he wants the party to be in a week and he wants something classy and elegant – the irony of classy and elegant being used to describe anything related to Alexis does not escape me. Or David, who smirks at the correlation.

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Joan Rivers Melissa Rivers

As always, it’s been a busy week for reality TV news, filled with ups and downs. First and foremost, our condolences go out to Melissa Rivers on the loss of her mother, Joan Rivers. A true legend, Joan will be missed by many

Also this week, ABC announced the new Dancing with the Stars cast, Farrah Abraham left us speechless, and Kyle Richards talked Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Check out more photos, recaps, and reality TV news:

PHOTOS

Which stars celebrate September birthdays?

Real Housewives enjoy Labor Day weekend

Kim’s Tacky Tuesday and Thirsty Thursday

Wouldn’t be DWTS without cheesy cast pics!

RECAPS

Tennis on Real Housewives of Melbourne

Season (series?) finale of Game of Crowns

Wedding prep and season finale of KUWTK

Biermann’s camping trip on Don’t Be Tardy

Tamra faces her accusers on RHOC reunion

The Atlanta Exes seek help from a mediator

Girls prepare for Nationals on Dance Moms

Part two of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta reunion

Josh Flagg shows Venice Beach on MDLLA

REALITY NEWS

Real Housewives of New Jersey grasp at straws

Worst part of Dancing with the Stars season 19

Lizzie Rovsek and Tamra Judge’s final thoughts

Oh my… Jenelle Evans is as delusional as ever

Dr. Jenn says it is the most volatile season yet!

Heather Dubrow preaches mistakes & forgiveness

Jim spills Real Housewives of New Jersey secrets

NeNe Leakes lands role in Cinderella on Broadway

Joe & Teresa Giudice sentencing postponed again

Photo Credit: Twitter 

kim-k

I interrupt your weekend to bring you this truly gag inducing story. Plus, we can never get enough of the Kardashians, right? I kid, I kid. Clearly, they can’t get enough of themselves, and Kim’s recent nekkid GQ shoot is just more of the same for this crew.

The other day we asked what you thought of Kim’s bare bum and fake tan (missed it? Check it out after the jump! You’re welcome). I thought the picture alone was bad. I was so, so, so wrong. Along with the photograph, Kim also gave an interview in which she brags about her sex life with husband Kanye West, hints about another potential sex tape (she does love to star in those, doesn’t she?), and reveals that Vogue editor Anna Wintour put her stamp of approval on North’s creative name. Poor Anna. She’s losing cool points left and right these days!

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