Reality Tea

katie doesn't understand why tom 2 doesn't defend her.

On Vanderpump Rules last night Jax Taylor decided that, for once, he was gonna work the rumor-mill to his favor, and play a game of telephone with the story of Katie Maloney “motorboating the crotch region of a gentleman.” Yes, I just typed that. And yes, that is a direct quote. And yes, we will be using that phrase many more times through this recap. You’ve been warned!

Jax is recovering from his nose job, and as he deals with the debilitating pain of a deviated septum he realizes there’s been just one person who hasn’t reached out, who hasn’t checked in on his recovery: Katie. He broods over muddled ginger at the SUR bar, and every time he feels the bandage tape creating friction across his oily pores, his anger increases just a little bit: it goes from beer, to wine, to whiskey, finally distilling into pure moonshine. And then he snaps: how dare she! How dare Katie not only ignore him in his time of need, but how dare she choose Stassi Schroeders side over his. And even worse, how dare she attempt to keep Tom 2 away from him, dammit! Besides, Tom 2 wants to be away from Katie – not Jax.

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Teen Mom 2 Adam Lind arrested

Not so shocking news: Teen Mom 2 hellion Adam Lind was arrested Sunday. Slightly shocking news: Adam’s 138th arrest – just a guesstimate – wasn’t for a traffic violation. Adam was jailed on domestic stalking charges this time.

However Adam and his most recent ex-girlfriend, Brooke Beaton, don’t agree on the details surrounding the arrest. Adam said Brooke is a drug-addicted slut who went CRAZY, slashed his truck tires, and told the police LIES about him because he broke up with her. Can you blame Brooke for lashing out? I mean, losing your one chance at true love with Adam Lind? The struggle is real!

Brooke said Adam is an abuser who stalked her and her family on Facebook and physically attacked her more than once. Considering Adam was arrested, I’m going to guess South Dakota’s finest have reason to believe Brooke.

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Tamra Judge

Despite rampant rumors that suggested she’d been fired and the high hopes that followed, Tamra Judge confirmed she’ll be back for Real Housewives of Orange County season 10. 

Tamra was one of the many Bravo reality stars who showed up to the premiere of Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce. Because, Lights! Camera! Famewhore Action! On the red carpet, Tamra talked season nine regrets, sung Heather Dubrow‘s praises, dissed Vicki Gunvlason and Gretchen Rossi, and confirmed she will be back next season. Le sigh. 

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love hip hop hollywood princess pool

Y’all remember last week on Love & Hip Hop Hollywood where Ray-J side stepped Princess’ drink throwing and she landed in the pool? That was hilarious. Last night’s episode begins with Ray utilizing what he’s learned in anger management by just walking away. Princess chases after him, flashing the production crew that tries to restrain her. Ray is so over this relationship. They are finished! Plus, it makes for a good story line with Teairra Mari, right?

Soulja Boy is reevaluating his relationship with Nia after her miscarriage and a bad car accident. Nia and Cameron were involved in an accident where Nia’s car flipped twice. The two are very fortunate that they escaped with minor cuts and bruises! Soulja wants to focus on rebuilding their love and being attentive to Nia and Cameron. I’m so glad they are alright–it’s crazy the real drama that coincides with this heavily scripted mess! Speaking of messes, Teairra is hoping that another showcase will make people forget about her horrendous debut (re-but?) back into the music scene. This time around, Yung Berg is cosigning this debacle, and he’s hoping that Teairra will prove to Sincere that she is worth the trouble after their spat. Berg and Teairra gossip like middle school girls about how he now considers Masika to be his girl, and the fact that Teairra is feeling nostalgic about Ray. They should be passing notes out of a Lisa Frank notebook, don’t you think? 

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Kim Kardashian Bing

Dear Diary,

Today was the best day of my life, as I, Kim Kardashian, was named the most searched celebrity of 2014 by Bing. Me! Not Beyonce! ME! MEEEE! I love, err, everybody loves me more than Beyonce!

Sincerely,
Kim #KissyFaceSelfie

Kanye West

Photo Credit: FayesVision/WENN.com

Vanderpump Rules - Season 3

Jax Taylor got a new nose – and that’s not the only thing that has changed on Vanderpump Rules. Jax swears that this season, a new villain will emerge – and he is taking matters into his own hands to expose the truth! He promises this season there will be an even more surprising twist to expose a villain no one ever saw coming. It better not be my Peter

“A lot of things are going to come out that people are going to very shocked about. I’m really tired of being called a liar and a cheater,” Jax reveals. “I don’t mind being called the villain, because everything I do on the show is me, but there are other villains on the show who I start to call out. It’s going to get really dirty.”

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The Girlfriends Guide To Divorce - Season 1

Well, we know this is old news, but we wanted to discuss it anyway: Caroline Manzo is reportedly in talks to return to Real Housewives Of New Jersey. Say it ain’t so, Bravo!

After branching out on her own in a lackluster spinoff Manzo’d With Children, RHONJ is desperate to save the show with Teresa Giudice‘s departure. Dina Manzo has already stated she is done, and Jacqueline Laurita promises to return and terrorize us all some more, but will Caroline also be signing on again? 

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