Reality Tea

Noelle at Serpentine Gallery

Last night on Ladies of London the famewhores separated from the literal ladies (as in titled ladies) and the cream rose to the top, while the rest skimmed through the tabloids. 

It's the seasonal opening of the Serpentine Gallery which is compared to the Oscars, as in the British version of, but I think it's mostly similar to our MET Gala. You know the one Kim Kardashian attended wearing a sofa from 1985. Anyway, she hasn't besmirched the British equivalent yet, but give her time and also there are many in her stead. For instance, Caprice who wore a dress bedecked with sequined cockroaches. 

Oh Caprice. Caprice has found herself in an intriguing predicament. She is currently 7 months pregnant, but since she believed she was incapable of carrying a child she hired a surrogate in the states – and that surrogate is 8 months pregnant! At the same time Caprice got pregnant naturally. So Caprice is pretty much having twins from different mothers. She is thrilled for a couple reasons: 1) the obvious delight of having two children 2) the obvious delight of being able to sell these stories to the press for top dollar. 

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Farrah Abraham Vivid Cabaret LA Launch Grand Opening Party

Farrah Abraham took some time out from her Celebrity Sex Tape press tour to bash her Teen Mom co-stars, Catelynn Lowell, Maci Bookout, and Amber Portwood. As we all know, Farrah think she's perfect, and the word humble is not in her dictionary. Just kidding – one peek at her portfolio of literacy tells us she doesn't even own a dictionary. 

Speaking to Starcasm, Farrah said she can't bear to follow her former co-stars, "I wish them all the best – but it does make me very sad to still see them make poor choices." Seriously? Because a DUI and a PORN are great choices?!? 

"I can't even tell you – if I had to go through all the same struggles again that I had to deal with the first time with Sophia – and I did not like that and I knew better – it would crush me," added Farrah. Um, what? Can I buy a vowel? "So I'm very sad the other Teen Moms don't take that as seriously as they should." 

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kyle richards jumpsuit

The last season of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was had plenty of drama in every episode. And a lot of the drama surrounded Kyle Richards. From rumors about her husband cheating, supposed racist comments and being smack dab in the middle of one of the nastiest housewives fights in history, Kyle had a rough season to say the least.

She recently opened up to Radar Online at her store Kyle By Alene Too and talked about how last season affected her and moving on to next season.

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RHOC Shannon Beador

Last night on the Real Housewives of Orange County, Heather Dubrow presented Tamra Barney with a generous opportunity to promote CUT Fitness on Good Day L.A. While Eddie Judge showed appreciation, Tamra showed bitch face. Then Tamra proceeded to berate Heather for co-hosting Good Day L.A. – five months ago – while a different gym was promoted. Tamra acted like an ungrateful brat the rest of the night. A drunk ungrateful brat.

So Shannon Beador took to her Bravo blog to complain about Heather – not Tamra, mind you, but Heather. I can't. Don't get me wrong, Heather annoys me, but bitching about her while ignoring Tamra's drama queen antics? Yeah, no. 

Out of nowhere and with her enemy safely out of sight, Tamra announced that she needed to replenish the blood in her alcohol, err, alcohol in her blood. #DependsOnTheDay  "When Tamra, Lizzie, Danielle, and I were sitting in my living room, Tamra announced that she was feeling uncomfortable," explained Shannon.  "I had numerous conversations with Tamra about her feelings that Heather talks down to her. I wanted her to be honest about how she felt." 

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christine chiu rhobh

Another day, another casting rumor, right? This time around, the gossip is swirling around Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and I think we can all agree that the ritziest of the franchise is likely to get a major overhaul.

After all, last season's newbies Joyce Giraud and Carlton Gebbia are reportedly getting axed, and Andy Cohen has resorted to begging Queen Lisa Vanderpump as a staple after the mess that happened with Brandi Glanville. Add into the mix the fact that Kyle Richards and company are hoping to squeeze the network for a pay raise, and there is potential for an entirely new cast of characters. Will Christine Chiu be one of them?

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tamra vs heather at shannon's party

Last night on Real Housewives of Orange County a certain Heather Dubrow got a taste of her own medicine. No, I don't mean she was forced to wear Target clothing, I mean Tamra Barney shanked her with some petty, made up reasons to hate while at a party and Heather became the new Gretchen is the new Alexis. Stage an intervention to call someone fake, wind up in an intervention being told you're fake (and condescending!). 

See, it's a dog eat dog world that Andy Cohen created and you have stab someone with storyline drama before they can stab you. Alas Heather considered Tamra her a 'real' friend. Boy was she wrong, because you can't teach an old dog new tricks. But at least Vicki Gunvalson behaved decently… for a change! 

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sleazy zino's lhh atl

Last night's Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta highlighted the opening of Stevie J. and No-Neck's new venture…and I am going to venture a guess that we didn't even see the tiniest portion of the real drama that occurred that night! Sleazy and Zino's Bistro and Bar is becoming an actuality. Stevie and Benzino have brought their ladies to check out the space. Joseline Hernandez has grand plans to perform at the club once a week–maybe nightly–because everyone loves seeing what she has to offer. She bonds with Benzino's new love Althea, warning her that Karlie Redd will be back for No-Neck's money given the opportunity. The women laugh over the fact that Althea used to "hang with" Mimi Faust's sex tape co-star back in the day. I just don't get what is so appealing about Nikko. Joseline has heard that Althea gets around, so this news isn't surprising to her. Across the space, Sleaze and Zeen toast to their nightlife endeavor, and Benzino reveals his grand plans to propose to Althea. I cannot get to Atlanta fast enough to belly up to the bar at this magnificent establishment.

Rasheeda's grand plans to make Kirk Frost jealous with a girls' trip to New Orleans are quickly deteriorating. Kirk doesn't think that his wife needs to be out partying when she should be home tending to their son. At least he's finally claiming paternity! Rasheeda can't understand why it was perfectly fine for him to have a threesome at Benzino's cabin, but she can't take off for Mardi Gras for a few days. The couple is taking son Karter for a check-up, and Kirk wants the doctor to tell Rasheeda just how bad it is for her mother to kiss Karter on the mouth. The doctor shares that young babies are definitely receptive to germs, and she discourages them from allowing anyone to kiss the baby on the mouth. Perhaps she should also warn Kirk that it is probably unsanitary for Karter to be chewing on his gold chain as well. 

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kuwtk-ladies

Sunday night we saw the premiere of Keeping up with the Kardashians. We learned that Kourtney lacks emotions, Khloe likes talking about Vajay-jay’s, Kim loves Kanye mirrors and Kris is still dying to be the fourth Kardashian sister.

The episode starts with Khloe talking about her divorce and how she is handling it. Her description of how she is dealing with it sounds a lot like denial. Khloe decides jumping on her trampoline and hanging out at Casa de Kris is the best way to combat an ugly divorce, that and constantly referencing how her va jay-jay is trying to swallow her itty bitty daisy dukes. Yes Khloe, we’ve all seen your camel toe. Side note: did Khloe just say Kim looks like Paula Abdul? Poor Paula, she doesn’t deserve that.

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