Last night the over-grown adolescents of Vanderpump Rules made the trek to Miami for Scheana Marie‘s bachelorette party. Naturally the thing to do is to also invite your Maid of Honor’s mortal enemy, who also happens to be on the FBI watch-list for stalking – just to make sure everyone has an unforgettable time! If Kristen Doute were a superhero her power would be stealing fun. Except Kristen is not a superhero – she’s a super villain.
Packing for the trip Shay, the lumbering manhulk of sullen drudgery, finally speaks. Holding up a pair of flamboyant swim trunks, he looks down at his open suitcase, then at Scheana and mumbles, “This is really setting in right now.” Yep – one step closer to being Mr. Scheana Marie Almost Famous. Score!
The other problematic goings-on is Jax Taylor. Just that very morning Jax apparently ran head-first into a glass door, busting open his forehead. Now he looks even more like a scientific experiment where the world’s most attractive man is turned into a Frankenstein monster of evil. Peter recognizes this is not gonna be good.
So who wants to place bets on whether Love & Hip Hop becomes more believable in 2015? As if! I am so far over the messy love triangle of Amina Buddafly, Peter Gunz and Tara Wallace. And, lesbihonest, there is nothing genuine about Erica Mena’s relationship with Cyn…except perhaps a fondness of Chipotle. Even the extremely likableYandy Smith is making me yawn with her tired story line regarding recently released from prison’s Mendeecees Harris. I think the only thing that is remotely real is the lack of Diamond Strawberry’s maternal skills.
Last night’s episode begins with Amina confronting Peter, Tara, and their kids after he stood her up on date night. She’s sobbing over the fact that her husband keeps sneaking around on her with his ex, and he’s yelling that she shouldn’t have come into the restaurant knowing he was with his kids. When Amina sits on the curb to cry, the always classy Peter stomps off embarrassed. Tara decides to go comfort Amina, and Tara tries to explain that Peter is a part of her family. Amina begs her to just take Peter back instead of continuing to make a fool out of her. Where do these people come from? Idiots, every last one of them! Tara then walks a grateful Amina to her car.
Ariana Madix usually doesn’t let the nonsense of Vanderpump Rules phase her too much. As the general port of calm in the storm, she refrains from mixing herself up in the drama of insane asylum inmates populating Lisa Vanderpump‘s restaurant.
But last week’s episode? That was the episode that made Ariana snap. Apparently it had to do with birthdays, Jax Taylor‘s lies, and Stassi Schroederacting like they’re all nobodies to her elevated status of fully actualized adult human being.
Tonight Celebrity Apprentice returns after yesterday’s season premiere which left Keshia Knight Pulliam fired for not reaching out to some big-name potential donors like Bill Cosby. Hello – Donald Trump wants publicity!
Keshia explained that she simply didn’t feel comfortable exploiting the connection and was disappointed it became a focal point in her ability to successfully complete the Pie Face task.
“I know ‘The Cosby Show’ is in reruns, and everyone thinks that we’re this family that has dinner every Friday night, but the reality was I hadn’t spoken to Mr. Cosby. I felt that it would be tactless, very rude to call someone and be like, ‘Hey, so, let me have some money right now,'” Keshiatold The Today Show about her firing.
Brandi Glanville is giving me some major “Single White Female” vibes in that picture. I fear for Lisa Vanderpump‘s swans. <Swan Boiler Brandi> I see scary stalker, but Brandi called it “uncomfortable” and “nervous” in her latest Real Housewives of Beverly Hills blog. And when she’s nervous, she says stupid things. So Brandi’s disgusting mouth is not Brandi’s fault. It’s Lisa‘s for looking at her and making her feel nervous. <eye roll>
About her housewarming party, Brandi said, “I’m so excited to be in our new home after stressfully floating around for the entire summer. I love this house. It’s got a warm happy feel to it. I decided to throw a proper party to celebrate our happy new home. My parents are coming and a few friends. I invited all the ladies, of course, because I didn’t want to leave anyone out. Everybody but Lisa V and Ken RSVP’d. She told me several times she wouldn’t be coming, so as far as I was concerned, she was not coming, but the show and the party must go on!”