Reality Tea

farrah

The keyboard ink wasn't even dry on our post about Farrah Abraham's sex tape sequel and she's already in full on victim mode. 

Vivid Entertainment announced that it was releasing a sequel to Backdoor Teen Mom, due out the day before Valentine's Day.  We wondered how long it would take Farrah to jump on her soapbox and play the blame game again.  About 13 minutes. 

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Farrah Abraham Vivid Cabaret LA Launch Grand Opening Party

Farrah Abraham is a whole host of crazy that I don't think anyone is psychiatrist-y enough to fix!

On this week's Couples Therapy Farrah revealed that she liked signed some stuff – a huge contract of stuff, but legally she couldn't reveal what it is. She did claim to regret signing her name on the dotted line, however. 

This week Farrah also claimed that her parents abused her and in the past she has been drugged and raped. Oh dear. Are all of Farrah's reveals a publicity stunt? Because Fishwrapper just learned that Farrah now has a second sex tape due to be released next week!

Yes – there will be two more on-camera romps starring Farrah and James Deen! And they just get racier and racier. Eeks. Vivid execs reveal exclusively that Farrah partakes in "fantasy fetish swings as foreplay" in one tape.

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Aaaaahhh… Brandi Glanville. Never a quiet moment, eh! 

In her most recent podcast the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star accuses her former friend of being just as much a valley girl as she once was!

“On our show, there are certain people who want to project this perfect persona like there’s nothing wrong in the world,” Brandi said. “Like Lisa Vanderpump used to live deep in the Valley and was filing for bankruptcy — and she doesn’t want to talk about that. That’s interesting to me.”

Exactly what is wrong with being broke, working hard to earn money, and then moving up? If Lisa got herself out of bankruptcy and is now financially solvent how is that anyone's business? Oh is because Lisa didn't act like a complete trashbox in the process like Drunki

Sigh. Grasping at cocktail straw, Brandi, grasping at cocktail straws and slurping up alll the vodka. 

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Last night on Couples Therapy the brilliant professionalism that is Dr. Jenn Berman explored *gasp* secrets. Secrets soooo big, and soooo deep, and soooo like secrety that the cameras had to be turned off on Farrah Abraham so Farrah could secret in secret. And also scrunch up her face while stage whispering, aka cry. 

Other than that, Ghostface's secret girlfriend Latrice came to the house to discover that Ghost also has a secret girlfriend named Kelsey. In the world of Ghost this is just how he gets his mack on, in the world of the rest of us, Ghost should just give up the ghost and accept that he's a middle-aged man with a midlife crisis. Oh, did I say that out loud? Cause I wish Dr. Jenn would have! Basically what I'm saying here is that last night's Couples Therapy was about one singular sensation who no one would ever date and one menage-a-trois dysfunctional relationship. So like where the couples at?

No one likes Farrah. I mean of course not – she makes condescending snarky comments to everyone, walks around with her fake nose in the air, and acts like it's all their faults she's a liar. Also everyone sees through her. Taylor Armstrong slurs that the "floral skirts with ballet flats aren't fooling me." Exactly how is Taylor getting sloshed every night "therapeutic"? 

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bethenny frankel bryn

What do you do when you're a gazillionaire cocktail mogul whose soon-to-be-ex-husband hilariously won't move out of the apartment you share? Well, if you're Bethenny Frankel, you just get a second one so you can have quality time with your douchey new boyfriend daughter. 

As Bethenny and Jason Hoppy struggle to come to a settlement agreement, things are getting more and more tense in their abode. I love that Jason is sticking to his guns. Apparently, his parents come to stay almost every weekend, making things all the more cramped, awkward, and humorous!  

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mob wives renee

So, the ladies of Mob Wives are officially my jam. I've always watched. I've always liked it. This season, however, I love it. I want to be friends with Drita and Ang. For real. Are they not fabulous? 

Alicia diMichele Garofalo calls Natalie Guercio to share the news that her husband Eddie is getting sentenced that day. Needless to say, she's bugging out over whether the judge will accept Eddie's plea deal. Alicia knows that the media is going to explode with this new development. Natalie is supportive but also worried for her friend. They can't help but fear the worst. On Staten Island, Natalie is meeting with Renee Graziano and air kisses ensue. Well, that's better than throwing brunch foods, right? Renee opens with the fact that their bad blood should end their Mob Candy business relationship. Natalie interrupts to say that she's known that since Renee put her in a headlock and never paid her. Renee is confused that she lost what she thought was the upper hand so quickly. Her eyes are darting all over the place like she's watching a ping pong tournament. The ladies discuss their apologies, but can only agree that Renee's was insincere…Natalie meant every word. Renee doesn't believe that Natalie's apology or her Halloween invitation were genuine. Natalie is able to keep her calm and relay her feelings without looking like a crazy person. Renee should take note. Wait…is she? Renee wonders what she can do to heal their relationship. Renee seems fine until she hears the word "loyalty." I think she may blow a gasket! Renee can barely contain her insane anger before storming out of the restaurant. Dear Natalie, shirts are meant to cover your midriff. 

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The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - Season 4

Hey readers!  I am about to blow you away with some secret intel from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. You are going to be totally shocked, I'm sure. Here it is…Carlton Gebbia is really not a fan of Kyle Richards. Oh, you already gathered that? We all must be as intuitive as Carlton is! After the witchy blow-up on Monday's episode, Carlton is recapping her showdown with Kyle in her Bravo blog. Lisa Vanderpump always seems to get sucked into these dinner parties, doesn't she?  

Carlton begins with her observations about Kyle, writing, "Watching Kyle's talking head as she's constantly rude about Lisa (her friend) only compounds and confirms my feelings towards her. Talk about smiling at one's face and then stabbing them in the back. But I guess that's her M.O. I know I'm not wrong about her, and I definitely know I'm not the only one who feels this."

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Photo Credit: ABC.com

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