Briana talks to Jacob, the boy, behind her mom's back. Cue the scene where Mom reminds Briana – not so gently – that she has baby baggage. So, the eyebrows have spoken, Briana is nothing more than a girl with a baby. Proceed directly to the coven. Don't call Jacob. Don't collect $200.
It's Briana's 18th birthday. Mom agrees to watch Nova overnight so Bri can hang with her friends at a hotel. Briana, in all her socially awkward glory, plans to go clubbing behind mom's back. Mom and Brittany talk about Bri's big night out ad nauseam. Brittany thinks Briana is too irresponsible to be out all night on her own, yet she gifts her with $50 to have fun. Plus she put money aside for Nova's diapers for the week. Best nanny ever!
Matt McCann calls Alex to report that his stint in rehab is coming to an end. He's doing really well, and when given the choice to either come home or go to a halfway house, he chose halfway house. He worries he'll fall right back in with the same crowd if he comes home too soon, however, he plans to use a day pass to visit Arabella on her birthday. Alex happily supports Matt's decisions.
Briana kicks off this week's episode, and she's very happy to report that her sister/nanny is over last week's "spread my wings and fly far away" attitude. Also, Briana took about three minutes of college classes, so she takes a much needed break. When a boy calls Brittany on her phone, Briana lectures her on birth control and pouts about her little mistake, also known as Nova Star.
Next Alex studies while Arabella sits unassisted on the very edge of a table. Are they training her for the circus? Seriously. Since Arabella nailed the death defying high table sitting act, Alex tries a chair. Without a net. This poor baby tumbles off the chair and falls face first onto the hardwood floor. Alex complains because she can't take her eyes off of Arabella for even a second.
This week on Teen Mom 3, Alex Sekella puts her Matt McCann induced pity party on hold to go to her senior prom. I expect her miserable self to pick up the party right where she left off next week. Fingers crossed!
Mackenzie Douthit and Katie Yeager whine about the same things they've been whining about for the past eight episodes. At least they're consistent. Whereas Briana DeJesus spends the entire episode in public. My guess is her house is being fumigated, to smoke out the male species, and she will resume couch sitting next week.
Also, it's Father's Day, and Mackenzie takes the above charming picture of Gannon as part of Josh's gift. You'll never believe how Josh McKee reacts to that much cuteness. Hint: he doesn't. Because his brain is broken.
Katie and Joey are getting along better since he quit smoking pot. So, Katie plans her next relationship hurdle, which is proposing a move to Utah for college. She's currently enrolled in community college but needs to transfer to a four year school (and they apparently only breed them in Utah) to get a degree in social work. Katie doesn't think she can survive without Joey making her cry for two years so she needs to convince him to move with her.
Meanwhile Alex points out that she's juggling school, work, and Arabella now that Matt's out of the picture. Because she had oodles of help those TWO WEEKS he was in the picture. Alex wants Matt restricted to court supervised visits only. "I don't want him and his substances in her life or around Arabella," she says. "I don't know where he is or what he's doing. If he's homeless, then he's homeless. That's his choice, his conscious decision to do that."
This week, Mackenzie finds tumbling practice to be more exhausting than it used to be. Coach tries to put things into perspective for the young mom – she has the potential to cheer on a college level but she needs to be able to 1) practice on a that level while attending classes and taking care of Gannon and 2) pay for college. Mackenzie's banking on Josh McKee (and his already scrambled brains) on winning rodeos so she can be a cheerleader.
Next Katie discovers that Joey Maes overdrew their checking account, costing them $90 in bank fees, and she worries he's using their grocery money to buy drugs. Katie gets on Joey's case the second he walks through the door, as per usual, and he blows her off to play with Molli. Katie throws bank statements at Joey (and Molli) and they argue for the 300th time since the premiere.
Katie's nervous about walking the runway in a wedding dress and – gasp! – lingerie. She feels self-conscious about her post-baby body and wonders if Joey Maes still finds her attractive. A friend tries to boost Katie's self-esteem, adding, "You're the mother of his child, I'm sure that's a thousand times sexier than just being his girlfriend."
Mackenzie opens the show, reminding us that she's still just a junior in high school. Homework is not a priority but prom is right around the corner. Woot! Mackenzie asks Josh McKee if he wants to go with her, and as always, he "doesn't care." Good talk, Josh. Good. Talk. Mackenzie squeals with delight.
Next Mackenzie shops for a prom dress with zero dollars (and fiance Josh is currently unemployed). Perhaps she should work on that homework a bit more. Math question: Mackenzie has $0. Pretty prom dresses cost $200. How many prom dresses can Mackenzie buy? Show your work.