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Last week on Top Chef, Micah Fields won the sexy knife quickfire challenge and Kristen Kish won the memorable moments elimination challenge. In a cook-off with Lizzie BinderJohn Tesar (and his eye glasses) fell victim to the curse of the risotto and was eliminated. Ouch! Being eliminated over Lizzie, who knowingly cooked and served questionable scallops, had to be embarrassing. 

While Josh Valentine (and his twisty mustache) is glad John is gone, Stefan Richter (and his wrinkle-free face) misses his "morning friend." Josie Malave declares she didn't come back as a stupid chef. True. She came back as an annoying chef.

Padma Lakshmi and Wolfgang Puck introduce the quickfire challenge.
 
Quickfire Challenge
 
The challenge: create a dish highlighting ginger… sponsored by Canada Dry Ginger Ale… in only fifteen minutes. Ginger Ale. It's what pays the bills. 
 
15 minutes? Wolfgang Puck? The pressure is on! Lizzie makes a split-second decision and grabs watermelon. Brooke loves ginger and pairs it with squid. Stefan disses Sheldon's stir fry dish, calling it too pedestrian and Chinese restaurant, and Sheldon yells "mother f-ker" at his meat.
 
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Last week on Top Chef Seattle, the cheftestants harvested fresh oysters and cooked for the Rat City Roller Girls. While everyone wished they could have voted Josie Malave off the Top Chef island, Bart Vandaele was eliminated for serving beyond bland food. I told those suckers that they'd regret not letting Josie sink in the mud, but they didn't listen to me.

This week's episode opens with Sheldon Simeon sharpening his knives and Stefan Richter slathering on wrinkle cream. Funny. Padma Lakshmi introduces this week's special guest, master blade smith Bob Kramer, who makes custom knives that sell for $500 an inch. That's crazy!
 
Bob cuts through two ropes to demonstrate just how awesome a $4,000 knife is. Sheldon begs to give him a hug; Lizzie Binder appears as if she hasn't slept in weeks; Stefan doesn't look too impressed. Perhaps Stefan would have cracked a smile or raised an eyebrow if Bob had busted out $4,000 wrinkle cream.
 
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Last week on Top Chef Seattle, we endured Tuna Gate and Rockin' Josie. While Kristen Kish scored a double win, Danyele McPherson was eliminated for constantly falling short. 

This week, instead of personally introducing the quickfire challenge, Padma Lakshmi and Emeril Lagasse leave a note. The note directs the chefs to take three Toyotas (ohh! ahh!) to Taylor Shellfish Farm. 

When Josie Malave gets stuck in quicksand, Micah Fields and Stefan Richter come to her rescue. I don't know why. She's super annoying, nobody can stand her, and proving to be impossible to eliminate. Overall, the chefs are excited to harvest fresh oysters. They take their time, enjoying every second of the experience and slurping up fresh oysters as they go. 

Quickfire Challenge

The challenge: the chefs must prepare an oyster dish for Emeril. In the kitchen, there are five red aprons and five blue aprons. Red aprons will prepare hot dishes and the blue aprons will prepare cold dishes. The winner gets $5000. 
 
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This week's "throwback" episode of Top Chef Seattle brings us drama, beef, a pair of pissed off glasses, a foot rub, a tightly wound mustache, mushrooms, and a double elimination.

Immediately following Kuniko Yagi's Turkeypocalypse elimination, John "my forehead needs glasses" Tesar disses Kuniko's raw potatoes. He says, "You can do potatoes in your sleep as a chef." John's negativity puts everyone on the defense.

C.J. Jacobson is like, Dude, why you gotta do this while we're pretending to be sad about Kuniko going home? John is like, She had five hours to taste those potatoes! And, by the way, you're full of s**t right now. Feeling left out in Seattle, Josh "my mustache is twisty" Valentine tells John that he doesn't have any tact, and then this happens:

Glasses: And Oklahoma has a lot of tact?

Mustache: You’re an a**hole.
 
Glasses: Thank you.
 
Mustache: Don’t f***ing say another word to me. There’s a reason you’re the most hated chef. It’s cause you’re a prigg. (does he say prigg or prick?)
 
Glasses: I’m not a prick. (Ah, prigg is Oklahoman for prick.. filing that away for future reference. John and Josh fail Communication 101.) I’m truthful.
 
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Last week on Top Chef Seattle, the cheftestants' challenges revolved around regional ingredients. The episode was very fishy. Seattle chef Tom Douglas joined the judges' table inside the Space Needle.

Three past Top Chef competitors, Josie Smith-Malave (season 2), C.J. Jacobsen (season 3), and Stefan Richter (season 5), joined the competition. Sadly, Jeffrey Jew failed to impress the judges and was eliminated. 

Quickfire Challenge

The challenge: Create an authentic international dumpling. Working individually, each contestant must pick a country (Africa? It's a loose interpretation of "country," I guess), and then make the dough-wrapped ball of food associated with that country. Padma Lakshmi tells the chefs that they will be gifted five minutes with a Kindle Fire, the Top Chef product of the week, to research their dumpling. 
 
Dana Cowin, Editor-in-chief of Food & Wine Magazine, will judge the challenge. Dana explains that she will look to see how each chef handles a wrapper, stuffing, and sauce, adding that she has eaten her weight in dumplings. No pressure, but she knows her dumplings.
 
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What have I gotten myself into? Top Chef has brainwashed me; I need to procure a few GE Monogram appliances. Also, there are too. many. accents. this season. 
 
Last week, judges Tom Colicchio, Emeril Lagasse, Hugh Acheson, and Wolfgang Puck put the last of the Top Chef Seattle hopefuls through the ultimate chef test. The chefs who were deemed too salty, too sweaty, too full of themselves, and too boring for reality TV were eliminated. 
 
Season 10's cheftestants are Bart Vandaele, Brooke Williamson, Carla Pellegrino, Chrissy Camba, Danyele McPherson, Eliza Gavin, Jeffrey Jew, John Tesar, Josh Valentine, Kristen Kish, Kuniko Yagi, Lizzie Binder, Micah Fields, Sheldon Simeon, and Tyler Wiard
 
Alright, alright, alright! Padma Lakshmi is in the house, err, kitchen, and she's feisty. John decides to talk to his teammates while Padma is still dishing out instructions for the Quickfire challenge. She puts him in his place. Manners by Bravo lesson number one: don't talk over Padma. Standing beside Padma in a quiet and single-file line, as not to bring on Manners by Bravo lesson number two, are three past Top Chef contestants. Surprise! Josie Smith-Malave (season 2), C.J. Jacobsen (season 3), and Stefan Richter (season 5) will be the judges for the first blitzkrieg (okay, a little dramatic, but I love that word). Chrissy remembers Stefan; he's an evil villain who looks like a thumb. 
 
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Top Chef is back. Padma Lakshmi returns as host, and the series promises a "back to basics" season. Top Chef Season 10 will take us to Seattle. But, we're not actually in Seattle yet, because the judges still have some cheftestant fat to cut.

The remaining Top Chef Seattle hopefuls are broken up into four groups and must prove themselves to either Tom Colicchio, Emeril LagasseHugh Acheson, or Wolfgang Puck. The cheftestants will pour their hearts and souls (and, for some, sweat) into dinner prep, soups, omelets, and salads, and then the judges decide who moves on to Seattle. 

Head judge Tom Colicchio's team includes John Tesar, Elizabeth "Lizzie" Binder, Jorel Pierce, Micah Fields, and Anthony Gray.

John pimps himself as the "most hated chef in Dallas." Then, in case we're too dim to realize, he tells us that "hated" basically means "awesome."  John says he has a natural talent, and he's the best. Well, there you have it, Top Chef fans. Should we just call it a season and crown him the winner now? Eh, what fun would that be? Let's meet the other egos contestants. 

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Top Chef Season 9

Top Chef returns for the ninth season of Bravo’s competition cooking show! This time they are taking the “cheftestants” on a tour of Texas culinary hotspots: San Antonio, Dallas and Austin in Top Chef: Texas!

Returning judges Tom Colicchio, Padma Lakshmi and Gail Simmons will be joined by Emeril Lagasse and Hugh Acheson along with special guests Charlize Theron, Pee-wee Herman, Cat Cora, John Besh, Tim Love and Patti LaBelle.

And proving that all things are bigger in Texas, this season the competition starts out with a record 29 cheftestants whittled down to the usual 16 during the premiere!

Those 16 chefs will then embark on a three-city culinary tour of Texas to compete for $100,000 and a feature in Food & Wine Magazine. The catch? None of the 29 chefs starting out the competition know that 13 of them will be going home almost immediately. Oops! “This season’s raising the level of intensity pretty fast,” reveals contestant Chaz Brown in the preview clip. Fittingly, some of the other contestants don’t take the news so well.

A clip of the season premiere is below! Top Chef: Texas airs tonight on Bravo (10/9c). Are you ready to get your grub on?

ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT THE NEW SEASON OF TOP CHEF? WILL YOU BE WATCHING?

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