Book one ofFarrah Abraham's trilogy,Celebrity Sex Tape, will be released July 1 – and I could not be more excited about it. No I haven't lost my mind. I do not plan to read Farrah's smut book, but this also means Farrah needs to give interviews to promote it! I can't stand Farrah, the person, but I love Farrah, the interviewee. Bring on the interviews!
Farrah sat down with Huff Post Live's Ricky Camilleri earlier today to talk about Celebrity Sex Tape and say awesome things like her trilogy is the next stop in her "portfolio of literacy" and reality TV taught her to be "more better at communication." Let's have a moment of silence for Ricky. He deserves it.
Farrah introduced the main character of her trilogy, Fallon Opal, and Ricky asked, "Not Farrah?" She insisted, "Not me. I think we all use our inspiration and experiences of life to build our stories but this is very different from anything that I've ever had in my life. But I noticed through some drama that I went through this past year of my own sex tape that this is a popular issue."
Um…I'm not sure what to do with this information. It's just plain gross, but I think the issue I have with it is that I am not at all surprised by it. Have I become so jaded that nothing to do with Farrah Abraham shocks me anymore? Yes. The answer to that question is yes. In fact, with this morsel of gossip, I find myself saying "eww" in the highest.
So, when the Teen Mom star isn't waxing her daughter's eyebrows or showing up to Couples Therapy sans the other half of her "couple," Farrah is trying to make money off her porn private home sex tape filmed for the sole purpose of promoting her future self-esteem…because Backdoor Teen Mom clearly wasn't filmed on a set…with a production crew…and a porn star. You won't believe the latest gossip! Or maybe you will…
Have you heard? There's a new show called Farrah's Therapy on VH1. It's a cross between Teen Mom Horror Story and Couples (Table For One) Therapy. The star of the show universe, Farrah Abraham, pretends to cry, makes ugly faces, and blames all of her problems on the strangers living in her house, as well as her parents, while a doctor by the name of Jenn Berman enables her.
Seriously, if VH1 wanted to cash in on the tragedy that is Farrah, why not just create a new show around her? Porn Stars Therapy or Celebrity Liars Rehab?
But I digress. It's day five in the Couples Therapy house. Sada Bettencourt and Whitney Mixter watch Backdoor Teen Mom and come to realize it's not a homemade sex tape. Not even close! It's a fully produced porn film. Whitney says she's not judging the Teen Mom star for having sex on camera, as she's been there, done that – but she has zero patience for Farrah's "sex tape" lies.
As if her delusions of grandeur aren't troublesome enough already – Farrah Abraham has been named Google's most searched for reality TV star in 2013.
According to Google Zeitgeist, the search phrases "farrah abraham backdoor", "farrah abraham video", "farrah abraham tape", and "farrah abraham full" were wildly popular between May 5 and May 11. Gross. Considering Vivid released the Teen Mom star's porn video on May 6, I'm willing to bet the vast majority of Farrah's fans were more interested in her backdoor than her reality star status.
In the good news department, interest in Farrah (via Google anyway) has been declining since July. Also? Kim Kardashian ranked a lot lower on the list than I would have guessed. My heart sings! However, Teen Mom and Kardashian stories constantly end up at the top of Reality Tea's most viewed list, so neither Farrah nor Kim is going to fade into obscurity anytime soon. Unfortunately.
Without a doubt Farrah Abraham lives a life led by delusion! Like times a million.
The Teen Mom star claimed to have made a sex tape for her own viewing pleasure, which allegedly got leaked by Farrah to Vivid Entertainment. In turn Vivid reportedly dangled a seven-figure deal in front of Farrah's nose to sell her pleasure romp. And what's a fameseeking girl on a now defunct reality show to do but take it?!
Unfortunately Farrah's boasting about her massive payout may be just one of her many delusions. Fox News did a little investigation into the reality (see what I did there?!) of celebrity sex tapes and found out it's not all royalty checks and bigtime payouts!
Good news!Farrah Abrahamis writing her third – or fourth? – book. And she's ready to blast the adult entertainment industry (which pays her bills) in the name of strong women around the world. #inspirational #delusional
In a recent video, titled Farrah Abraham: She's Now A Sex Toy, Farrah shared she's designing her own line of sex toys, including replicas of her own lady bits.
"I think I'm taking sex symbol to a whole new level today," explained Farrah. "I'm at Topco, which is the fourth biggest in the nation adult sales manufacturer. So, now I'm going to have a whole sex line. People are going to jack off to me."
In honor of hump day – pun sooo intended – I'm bringing you this very special interview with Farrah Abraham. #WootWoot It truly highlights all the things we love about Farrah, including her nonsensical rambling, lack of self-awareness, and special brand of English.
The former Teen Mom star goes into the interview planning to promote Vivid Entertainment's new strip club, and she gets pissy when things go awry. No warm up here, folks! The interviewer jumps right in, asking Farrah how she plans to spend her porn money.
Farrah's number one goal? "Being smart." Well, this interview is shot to hell already, huh? Oh, but there's so much more, like the fact that she still wants us to believe that James Deen was her boyfriend and the whole feminist-lesbian thing that trips her up.