Not surprisingly, Bravo's favorite potty-mouthed Polish beauty has her take on what happened, and she's never one to hold back. Joanna remains vehemently loyal to Lea and is quick to belittle her fiance's feelings in one breath and then praise him with the next. She's exhausting, no?
Joanna Krupa and Romain finally had a breakthrough in their relationship. Adriana de Mouracontinuedto be insane by insisting her wedding guests dress pure and innocent as angels, newborn fawns, and daisies at her sham re-wedding, which is anything but fresh as the first snow.
Joanna has Lisa Hochstein over for dinner. Joanna doesn't cook or use dishes so she serves sushi and soup out of the restaurant takeout boxes. I was getting the BPA heebie-jeebies watching them drink miso out of the big plastic cartons. The food doesn't really matter since the wine is the main course.
Last night on Real Housewives of Miami bridges to the past were burned as everyone focused on getting over it, moving forward, and embracing the positive. Except for Lenny Hochstein – he embraced the liposuction and actualized his dream of looking like Romain Zago of being a swimsuit model.
Things begin with Adriana de Moura and Joanna Krupa meeting for breakfast to discuss why they hate each other. Joanna stuck to non-alcoholic beverages and that ensured that no eggs were thrown in anyone's face (boring!) despite Adriana being an hour late. In the end Adriana apologizes for calling Joanna "Ho-anna" and insinuating she was an escort, although she tries to blame the whole thing on Lea Black! All is good… for now! Personally I don't know how Joanna resisted the urge to knock that goofy white hat off Adriana's head.
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here's a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
Apparently while many of us struggle to pay rent, some of us struggle to find ways to spend our money. Oh to be a Real Housewife of Miami!
Lisa Hochstein found true love when she received her first Birkin and she's been on a path to reclaim that feeling ever since. In her embarrassingly gushing sollioquy espousing the glory that is Hermes last night she bounced up and down like a five-year-old in a candy store at the thought of amassing more of these glorious $20,000 creatures. They are, after all, so rare that every Housewife in every city owns like 9 of them. #Firkin
In a new blog, Fembot continues her Birkin lovefest. Does she think Hermes will pony up a free bag if she praises them enough? "Lea [Black]and I both love Birkins. She is a seasoned collector," Lisa begins, wishing upon wishes that she were Lea Black instead of upstart Lisa Hochstein.
"I know it sounds ridiculous to spend that kind of money on a handbag, but I like to look at them as an investment. They hold their value forever if you take good care of them," Lisa explains. How about looking at a college degree as an investment? "Although I have no intention of ever selling my Birkins, many times they are resold for a much higher price." Oh – well good to know. In fact, that's how she can get more. Screw the waiting list and offer to pay off some of the other Housewives debt in exchange for one of their old Birkins!
I dunno… maybe Real Housewives of Miami is growing on me. It's so… glossy. I mean, I'm a girl who loves a soap opera and since reality TV is just as staged and melodramatic as Revenge, why not amp up the glamour and make it look as glossy as Revenge. Although if Emily Thorne ever sports leopard print tuxedo trousers with a neon racing stripe Imma have serious issues.
So last night the bionic blonde trio of Lea Black, Joanna Krupa, and Fembot Fakenstein traveled to LA for a little wedding planning. You wouldda thought it was the first time these broads had been on an airplane before with all the handycam footage they were shooting. Lisa gleefully popped a tranquilizer of some sort then put both legs behind her head contortionist style and bragged that Lenny really likes that move. Um… I have never seen an adult woman that flexible – even in yoga – did she get her hipbones removed or something? Is she entirely made of high-grade silicone. She's definitely a fembot.
Then they arrive at Joanna's LA home, which is really pretty. Lisa looses track of her giant suitcase, which weighs approximately double what she does even when she wears 7" platforms. It starts rolling away from her down the driveway. She takes off after it fearing for the life of her Louboutins and ends up in the street desperately tripping over the giant thing. That was seriously the funniest scene I've ever seen on this show. It was classic and adorable.
One thing I appreciate about Joanna is her ballsy candor and she really does seem unafraid to put herself out there, lack of sex life and all! In a new interview with A Drink With… blog, Joanna dishes on the show and insists she's exactly how she seems on TV!
"What pisses me off are people who try to pretend like they are so perfect, I’m not going to name names but it’s really annoying," Joanna says. "Just don’t pretend that you are somebody you’re not!"
One thing she does think was misrepresented about her was that she is an alcoholic. "I don’t have an alcohol problem! Last season was really tough for me because I’m a lightweight," Joanna insists. "After I have one or two drinks if somebody pisses me off I get really verbal."