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Here comes the bride, all dressed in white.  Oh, wait.  Sorry Kris Jenner!  It seems that high hopes for a Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick wedding extravaganza won't be in the cards for a Keeping Up With the Kardashians season finale.  What?

According to the rumor mill, Kourtney is still refusing to make things official with the father of her two children.  Seeing as both Kim and Khloe Kardashian offered up million dollar nuptials in the name of ratings, one would think that Kourtney would be on board with using her walk down the aisle to attract viewers.  She's not.  It looks like Kris may need to find a quick beau for younger daughters Kylie and Kendall if Kourtney isn't willing to use her relationship to spearhead the finale!  Gah!

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lisaEveryday Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' star Lisa Vanderpump gives me a reason to love her even more.  I'll be honest, I wasn't on board with Lisa in earlier seasons.  It's not that I didn't like her, it's just that I was indifferent towards her.  Oh, how times have changed!

This season's Lisa is every bit as stylish and classy as she's been the past two seasons, but it's awesome to see her forming opinions and standing up for her friends.  Yes, she's brash and brutally honest, but she's also (in my opinion) totally genuine and grounded.  Not to mention, I love her wardrobe, her precious son-in-law, and the romance that is still totally alive between her and Ken Todd.  You just can't fake that kind of relationship.  She's real…and she could buy and sell me a thousand times over!

Not only has Lisa gained a spin-off (can't wait!) due to her RHOBH popularity, but she's also getting outside deals.  First up?  She's judging the Miss Universe pageant alongside Kourtney Kardashian's beau Scott Disick.  Did I mention that she's nothing if not honest?

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You know what they say, where there's smoke, there's usually fire…and when the same Kardashian rumors keep circulating again and again, there has to be some truth to them, right?  Once again there are rumblings of a fed up Bruce Jenner ready to divorce his pimp wife Kris Jenner.    I mean if Bruce has any lick of sense about him, he can't be happy in his marriage–especially if it's anything like we see portrayed on Keeping Up With the Kardashians

Of course, it has been kind of quiet on the Kardashian front of late, so the revival of marital discord gossip could be Kris' attempt at getting her name back in the media.  We all know she's really good at that!  These new rumors have Bruce moving daughters Kendall and Kylie out of the family home before Kris can railroad their remaining teenage years into reality gold.  They are daughters, not brands!

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Yawn.  It's like the most dramatic rose ceremony Kim Kardashian divorce ever.  How is it possible that the divorce proceedings are lasting three times as long as the actual marriage.  Why oh why can't Kim just admit that her marriage to Kris Humphries was for her reality show and spare us all the endless gossip and back and forth of this silly divorce?  I mean, part of me is glad she isn't…I like my job, but we all know Kim didn't really want to marry him for real life purposes.  The girl changes boyfriends/potential fiancés/randoms who may or may not be willing to walk down the aisle with her as often as I brush my teeth…and I have excellent oral hygiene.  Never had a cavity!

What bothers me most about this divorce isn't the ridiculousness of it all or even the drawn out nature and pettiness from both sides.  It is this:  The whole thing could be over and done with if Kim would just admit the marriage was for show.  Kris gets none of her fortune regardless…her prenup bars him recovery in the event of a divorce, and if there was never any marriage (which would happen with Kris' desired annulment), he has no basis for monetary gain there either.  You can't get alimony if you never had a marriage.  Sure, I guess they could find the prenup void and the marriage valid, but that doesn't work for the premise of my argument.  :) 

All Kris wants her to do is tell everyone what we already know…the wedding was for ratings.  Nothing more, nothing less.  I mean, she is literally laughing in our faces, thinking we are stupid enough to believe that it was a fairytale romance.  We watch your show, Kim.  You have more chemistry with the doormen of whatever building in whatever city you happen to be living in currently than you did with Kris.  Basically, I just don't like being played for a fool.  Kim, quietly admit to what we all already know and be done with it.  It could actually help your sad image more than the path you're choosing.  Off my soapbox and on to the divorce drama…thanks for indulging me!

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Egads!  A post where I actually have to exercise sensitivity…and about Kim Kardashian and her tiny rapper no less!  I guess now that it's officially the holiday season, I need to practice more kindness and goodwill, right?  Well, here it is.

While we were gorging on leftovers and shopping for major deals, Kanye West was facing a heartbreaking anniversary…five years since the death of his mother Donda West after plastic surgery gone horribly wrong.  Kanye, who has been fiercely protective about his mother's memory, has finally found a woman with whom he wants to share that part of his life.  That's a pretty big deal, if you ask me.  After the couple spent Thanksgiving with Kim's family, Kanye whisked his lady love to Oklahoma City to introduce her to his mom's family and visit Donda's grave site. 

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It's been said that in life only two things are certain–death and taxes.  Well, dear readers, I'd like to think y'all would agree with me if I tweaked that saying just a bit.  In the reality world, the only two things that are certain have to be Kris Jenner creating rumors about her family in order to stay relevant and Kim Kardashian talking when she should just smile, look plastic pretty, and wear heinous tiny rapper inspired outfits.  Am I right or am I right?  Of course death, taxes, and all that jazz come into play as well…although have we seen any Kardashian 1099s?

Where to start, where to start?  Should I lead with Kim's unfortunate but likely well-intended Twitter posts or Kris speaking out about the gossip she planted about her marriage?  It's quite the conundrum.  Thank goodness I've got a glass of pinot noir and a Ducky Dynasty marathon to soothe my Kardashian-riddled nerves.  Join me, won't you?

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When I think of the Kardashian/Jenner klan, warm and fuzzy thoughts don't often come to mind.  Sure, Khloe Kardashian Odom is slightly bearable, and those Jenner girls are pretty, but let's face it.  With Kris Jenner as their momager, they're bound to be extremely entitled, over exposed, and annoying any day know…if they aren't already.

With all of this going on with the girls in this family, sometimes the guys get the short end of the stick (anyone remember poor Rob Kardashian when Oprah Winfrey came to interview the krew? At least he has his sock line.).  It's sad really.  Of course, no one is more disrespected, ignored, or made fun of more than dad Bruce Jenner.  Poor guy is legendary Olympian, but at his home, he's the butt of all jokes. 

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I feel like high stepping, finger snapping, dance-off gang fight is about to happen in Miami a la the Sharks and Jets, and the Sharks are the Kardashian sisters and their fans and the Jets are, well, everyone else.  As you recall, the Kim and Kourtney got the boot from South Beach, but they landed in a very nice gated community in North Miami Beach.  Granted, said gated community is near strip malls and convenience stores (I know, I totes have hives too just typing about it.  Gag.), but those Kardashian girls are nothing without without their keen ability to adapt in any situation with other vapid ridiculously rich for no reason people. 

Oddly enough, it was living near the Kardashians that led potential South Beach neighbors to send the girls packing.  Now that filming has begun for the umpteenth spin-off of their family reality dynasty, the North Miami Beach natives are getting restless…or at least one of them is!  There is apparently a disgruntled realtor on the scene.  Um, he clearly didn't get the memo that it's called Kourtney and Kim Take Miami, not Some Guy Wants Money Thanks to Famewhores.   Some people will always try to make a buck at the expense of innocent reality stars.  Sadly, in this case, I'm not being sarcastic.

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