Oh Vicki Gunvalson – after eight or so seasons of Vicki annoying the piss out of us (see what I did there – cause Vicki peed her pants), she's getting counseling and emerged a wiser, more self-confident, and self-aware woman. And she's spreading her messages to the masses.
On last night's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County we entered an alternate universe of housewifery where Vicki was preaching about learning from mistakes, taking ownership, and in general being a happier person less concerned with what others think. Either Brooks' falsie-affirmations are working (the power of believing, yo!) or counseling is, but whatever – we'll take it. And I'll also take a Vicki G spinoff called The Love Tank Whisperer.
Vicki took her love tank restructuring seminar to Puerto Vallarta and invited Shannon Beador and her imploding marriage along. It takes a brave woman to take a disaster on vacation and still focus on the fun! Shannon and David are in a tailspin of dysfunction with Shannon digging in and clinging tightly to an evaporating David who is floating farther and farther out in the metaphorical sea.
On last week's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County an organic vodka courageous Shannon Beador took matters into her own hands to get to the bottom of some rumors concerning her marriage. Of course that meant barging into Heather Dubrow's house to demand answers and getting thrown out, but hey – a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do!
As most of Shannon's co-stars are sympathetic to reasons for needed answers, Lizzie Rovsek, who was mainly Team Heather during the episode suddenly understands Shannon's motives.
"For me, watching the episode brought me more clarity to Shannon’s situation regarding the email from her husband, David. During the time all this drama was going down I heard everyone’s side of the story, but was still confused as to what was really happening. I didn’t know exactly what went down," Lizzie admits.
I don't even know what to say about last night's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County. It was surprising – to say the least – surprising in that it featured real emotions and a storyline that did not seem entirely crafted by producers. Sure, there were moments that seemed 'encouraged' but the reactions of the women to the circumstances seemed deliciously authentic – which makes the episode both incredibly sad, and incredibly engaging to watch. In short, this is one of the most interesting episodes of RHOC I've seen in a while, except for the revolting Vicki Gunvalson and Brooks Ayers scenes.
Let's dive in!
Shannon Beador is at Tamra Barney's house looking for a confidante in a former kindred spirit. See Tamra has been down that divorce road again and again (and if this season's Eddie has any indication… again!). Shannon confesses that since their children were born – pretty much the beginning of their marriage – things have been very strained and distant; that David does not look at her with love in his eyes, and after a bout with allergies David pretty much permanently switched his sleeping accommodations to a guest room (which explains why the master bedroom looked so itty-bitty last episode!)
Last night on Real Housewives of Orange County the dramas were as real as the friendships were fake. And Shannon Beador is about to learn a nasty lesson in Housewives betrayal – right on top of learning one about heartbreak. Why is this exactly the plot of a Lifetime Movie? Oh goody!
So, let's just break this down; either Tamra Barney's new doctor is injecting her with crazy-hormones (and by that I mean more crazy than usual hormones) or girlfriend is having a nervous breakdown. Of course, that still doesn't excuse her rancid personality and wretched two-faced-ness. Do personalities spoil like milk?
Tamra is still mad at Heather Dubrow for having a life beyond her or RHOC - and for daring to promote another gym on TV besides CUT Fitness. I mean that horrible hoochie-hussy – she is like single-handedly destroying Tamra's business. As if Tamra's behavior on RHOC isn't at allllll responsible for destroying her reputation.
I swear, if they're not arguing about chairs, the ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County can find something equally as benign to bitch about–like gym promotions! Look, I understand why Tamra Judge wanted to be mad at Heather Dubrow for not offering up a CUT Fitness segment on her previous stint as a guest host on Good Day LA, but I don't really think that Heather had any pull regarding the situation. I'm not even a Heather fan this season (what happened?!?), but both women agree that Heather called her to fill her in on the situation when it happened, and Heather tried to rectify things–and promote CUT!–when given the opportunity. These women will complain about anything…and try to stir up drama at every turn. Lizzie Rovsek clearly learned that from watching past seasons…what was she trying to pull on Monday's episode?
Taking to her Bravo blog, Tamra begins, "Good Day L.A…. Let me tell you why I was so upset since you did not hear the whole story. Last summer I got a text from Heather saying she was going to co-host GDLA and wanted me to know that GDLA was bringing on another fitness studio and she had NOTHING to do with it. I said 'No worries' and thanked her for letting me know. I know there are a lot of gyms/fitness studios out there. A week later I see the segment on GDLA and they have the fitness studio SHE works out at (50 miles away from GDLA studio), HER chef and HER clothier on the same segment. So I thought to myself, 'REALLY, Heather, you had NO input, however all the guests were people you deal with directly?' My feelings were hurt!"
I believe Heather pitched CUT for Good Day L.A. because she wanted to, not because she was trying to right a wrong, and she seemed genuinely excited to share the news with Tamra and Eddie. Too bad Tamra is an ungrateful shrew. By making such a big deal about a competing gym being mentioned on Good Day L.A., she gave it even more press through Real Housewives of Orange County. Since Bravo showed a clip of the Good Day L.A. segment we all know the name of the gym as well. Tamra isn't too bright.
Heather took to her Bravo blog to discuss the drama surrounding Tamra and Shannon and to discuss Vicki Gunvalson's claim that she faked the perfectly timed phone call from her son. Perfectly timed, as in gave her an excuse to flee the party, not 10:30. Because, I'm not sure if you heard, but it was 10:30 when the call took place. If they said that one… more… time…
SoShannon Beador took to her Bravo blog to complain about Heather – not Tamra, mind you, but Heather. I can't. Don't get me wrong, Heather annoys me, but bitching about her while ignoring Tamra's drama queen antics? Yeah, no.
Out of nowhere and with her enemy safely out of sight, Tamra announced that she needed to replenish the blood in her alcohol, err, alcohol in her blood. #DependsOnTheDay "When Tamra, Lizzie, Danielle, and I were sitting in my living room, Tamra announced that she was feeling uncomfortable," explained Shannon. "I had numerous conversations with Tamra about her feelings that Heather talks down to her. I wanted her to be honest about how she felt."
Last night on Real Housewives of Orange County a certain Heather Dubrow got a taste of her own medicine. No, I don't mean she was forced to wear Target clothing, I mean Tamra Barney shanked her with some petty, made up reasons to hate while at a party and Heather became the new Gretchen is the new Alexis. Stage an intervention to call someone fake, wind up in an intervention being told you're fake (and condescending!).
See, it's a dog eat dog world that Andy Cohen created and you have stab someone with storyline drama before they can stab you. Alas Heather considered Tamra her a 'real' friend. Boy was she wrong, because you can't teach an old dog new tricks. But at least Vicki Gunvalson behaved decently… for a change!