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Marysol Patton

Last night on Real Housewives of Miami, things took a turn for the dour. Lets just say there were a lot of tears and too few drunken antics, but sometimes a little Housewives Xanax is needed after all the insanity!

Things begin with Joanna Krupa getting her charity on and thankfully she's not exposing her pubes to raise awareness this time. This time, she's competing in a charity volleyball game. Joanna + bikini = $$. Karent Sierra and Lisa Hochstein are cheering her on – and curiously absent is Romain Zago

A somber Joanna fills them in on the grim reality post boobnight bitchslap. Although Romain and Joanna are still technically living together they barely speak and he works overtime to avoid her. 

Joanna takes to the court and is surprisingly good. For some odd reason I was expecting it to be a gobsmackingly appalling performance. And after the match Romain arrives to show his better late than never version of support. They decide to go have a chat because I mean who doesn't want to have a personal and heartfelt conversation about their relationship in public, at a sporting event?

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Our favorite reality TV stars can’t get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
 
Above: Shahs of Sunset beauty Lilly Ghalichi tweeted, "‏Filming @bravotv #shahs." 
 
Below you’ll find Twitter pics from Andrea Kelly, Adriana de Moura, Renee Russo, Kyle Richards, Marysol Patton, Tamar Braxton, and more.
 
 
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Last night on Real Housewives of Miami there were dueling psychics, dueling ladies in formal wear, and um… yeah just a lot of straight up unhappiness. If last week's episode was all the debauchery, hedonism, and human sacrifices of Ancient Rome, last night's episode was the aftermath of war. 

It's the day of the annual Blacks Gala and everyone is quite positive no one's nipples will hang out, no one will be thrown into pool Dynasty style, and no one will be doing tequila shots or getting slapped in the face. Oh, no instead they'll be milling around in couture gowns and spending $14,000 bidding on an evening at the Playboy Mansion. The only thing Fembot Fakenstein's boobgerie slapfest has in common with the Black Gala is some of the attendees – and that includes Joe "Cameratime" Francis. Doesn't he have some checks to be writing to Steve Wynn? $40 Million of them to be exact. 

In preparation for the gala, Lea Black is rushing around clutching a bright pink Birkin as if it's an extra appendage. A third arm that is merely a formality and is crap at the useful things like moving tables and directing quack psychics on how to turn glass into music and peace. 

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So last night was really something! Was this DYNASTY or Real Housewives of Miami? I mean a pool fight between queens? Angry ladies in negligees screaming? Champagne glasses being flung? Bitchslapping and accusations flying? Booze and bitching galore? I love it

And in the center of it all stood a series of blurred out nipples over surgically altered boobs. Just the casualties of a lingerie party, I suppose. 

Joanna Krupa is a curious case, isn't she? She's pretty as an angel but she's like a Transformer. She appears like an apparition all soft blonde light and sparkling blue eyes, sweet pink pout and then BOOM! Her hair turns to razor blades that will slice you, her mouth is filled with fire, bullets flying from her nipples (all three of them!), and her eyes become like shards of glass. Joanna will cut a bitch. She will stalk her prey and maul them like a wild beast hungry for dinner. Maybe that's the problem – none of these ladies eat enough and the hunger drives them crazy. 

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Aaaahhh… Miami a town where boobs come out to support charity. And not just the kind of boobs stuffed in a bra. Some of those boobs go by the name Joe Francis

Last night on Real Housewives of Miami there was a ton of T&A – meaning a lot of trashiness and a lot of asses. Poor Fembot Fakenstein got it into her pretty little head that she could upstage the mighty Lea Black, Miami's resident charity queen (maybe?), by hosting a lingerie party to support Susan G. Komen. I bet Susan is so proud.

So Fembot invited 800 of Lenny's boob goddesses, asked them to wear the stuff they normally wear to the supermarket and show up at her house, checks drawn and appetite for liquor, drama, and camera time at the ready. Actually I feel bad for Lisa, I think she really thought this would be a fun event and didn't get the memo that Bravo ruins everything. Better luck next time, toots!

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Tonight is an all new episode of Real Housewives of Miami and since the ladies act like high school students on the regular I thought it'd be fun to compile a collection of Yearbook Superlatives. Remember those? Most Likely To Succeed, Cutest Couple, Biggest Flirt, etc. 

Tonight's episode features the infamous slap and it also features the ever-classy Joe Francis who happens to be a friend and client of Lea Black's. Joe, of Girls Gone Trashy fame, claims he has slept with both Joanna Krupa and her sister Marta. A claim Joanna denies. Joe has been tweeting up his insistence that it is true and accusing Joanna of bullying him in the press.

Shouldn't Joe be focusing on his massive legal woes and financial issues instead of you know desperately trying to make himself relative through a reality show. Oh what am I saying?! 

Anyway, tonight Adriana de Moura slaps Joanna in the face and we all get to watch! Reality Tea will be live-tweeting all the drama and we won't be tearing our drama-starved eyes away from the screen for a moment. So make sure to join us tonight! 

Real Housewives of Miami airs tonight on Bravo at 9/10c. 

[All Photo Credits: BravoTV.com]

TELL US – ARE YOU EXCITED FOR TONIGHT'S EPISODE OR TIRED OF THE OVER-WROUGHT HW DRAMA?

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Our favorite reality TV stars can’t get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
 
Above: Real Housewives of Miami star Lisa Hochstein tweeted, "I beat @adrianathereal to the tweet #sensa fashion show @MarysolPatton hope she doesn't punch me #rhom #funkshion."
 
Below you’ll find Twitter pics from Bethenny Frankel, Farrah Abraham, Karent Sierra, Kylie Jenner, Nicole Murphy, Tamra BarneyNeNe Leakes, and more!
 
 
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE!

Last night on Real Housewives of Miami, drama was as plentiful as the uneaten food. Joanna Krupa may or may not have caught her fiancé in the throes of a passionate affair. And Adriana de Moura may or may not have accused Karent Sierra of being a desperate delusional famewhore to her face. Oh – and best of all Mama Elsa my or may not have threatened to beat a drag queen's ass. Yep, never a dull moment in the Sunshine State!

Things begin at Alexia Echevarria's party. Karent has come guns blazing after Joanna slipped and told her Adriana was planning to confront her about famewhoring. Karent is like I'll worry about that after photos! CHEESE. That girl was in her Mecca all over the step n repeat! 

Inside the party the awkwardness is palpable right away and Adriana is following Karent with narrowed eyes just waiting to strike. Karent is also acting like nothing weird has ever happened with Ana Quincoces and Rodolfo as she keeps trying to yank her in for more photos. Girl – how many photos do you need?

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