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Mob Wives Recap

Last night’s episode of Mob Wives was about lying liars and the lies they tell, oh and boyfriend hatin’ mafia princess Renee Graziano. Meanwhile Karen Gravano and Drita D’avanzo are still upset about last weeks fight about some guy they both like. Carla Facciolo’s boyfriend is grabbing a** all over town, well he’s grabbing almost everyone’s a**, and Renee just wants everyone to get along by acknowledging that she is always right about everything!

The show started out with Drita going to Carla’s to rehash the “Karen Loves Lee Forever” fight from last week. She is still upset that Karen called Lee a “scumbag.” Hey, truth hurts… Carla comments that a man should never come between friends. Drita explains to us that she went easy on Karen because if she wasn’t such a good friend she would f*ck her up especially because Karen was talking about Lee where her kids might hear. Across town in a parallel universe, Karen is complaining to Renee about Drita! For some reason Renee keeps repeating that Drita is a coward and owes Karen an apology? Karen says she she doesn’t feel like the situation is cleared up. You know I think I agree!

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On last night’s episode of Mob Wives we discovered that friends and boyfriends simply don’t mix in the wilds of Staten Island. Here are the rules: 1) Friends aren’t allowed to date your ex-boyfriend; even if you maybe dated him 20 years ago when you were in high school, but if you do happen to date your friend’s ex, you should definitely be honest about it, according to Karen Gravano. And rule number 2) Your boyfriend isn’t allowed to talk to any of your friends – even if he may be joking or trying to be nice, because if that friend happens to be Renee Graziano things are going to get crazy.

The episode started off with Renee making an eerie observation that for once all four of them are getting along. As soon as the words were spoken we all know that means by the middle of the episode somebody will be brawlin’. To celebrate the fact that no one was fighting, choking each other, or threatening to break their twat neck they had girls’ night out in NYC – but really it was Renee’s night out. Renee, Renee, Renee – did you know she is a Mafia Princess, you know, Anthony Graziano’s daughter? Just in case you didn’t, this is your reminder: Renee is a mafia princess and Anthony Graziano – infamous mob boss of Staten Island – is her father.

Renee educates the waiter letting him know that because she is a special kind of girl – a mafia princess – she is “very spoiled” and their table needs a lot of attention; it’s not her fault – she doesn’t mean to be difficult – but she is. While at dinner she is flirtatious and outgoing – larger than life – and literally talking about how large she is by complaining about being fat and needing liposuction for her arms. When Carla and Drita suggest going to the gym, she rebuffs them – that’s what plastic surgeons are for – she can get the same results after 24 hours on a surgeon’s table. Renee knows from experience since she had a nose job and during a toast to her friends she declares: “Here’s to the realest f*cking people, aside from my nose.”

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Mob Wives

Last night’s Mob Wives episode was all about loyalty – and drinking. It was also about how having drinks with a girlfriend and loyalty do not often mix well if you are Karen Gravano. The episode also focused on what else: Renee Graziano’s loyalty to the lifestyle, loyalty to friendships and family, how Drita D’avanzo betrayed her, and whether or not it is worth it to stay connected to her past. Oh, and how she and Karen are now practically family again. As for Carla Facciolo, well she was pretty invisible again this episode, but her storyline was about family also.

The day after the Mob bust – and after a terrible day, in her own words, “Renee needs a drink.” We find out Junior is already out on bail and is likely only looking at 18 months for gambling (wait – isn’t that legal?) Renee expresses her frustration about the cycle of dealing with prison again and not being part of a normal family, because: “There’s always somebody missing to the federal f*cking government,” Renee doesn’t want that life anymore, but it is just so difficult to break away. By the way – did you see those amazing fur boots Renee had on? Girl definitely likes her fur from head to toe. After all, nothing says “bitch, I’ve arrived,” mafia-style like fur as we were taught last week in Renee’s Mob Wives 101 class.

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Mob Wives

Last night’s episode of Mob Wives was, again, about how life when you are part of the “the underworld” isn’t just about the glitz and the glamor, as Renee Graziano’s ex-husband (who is also her son AJ’s father) was arrested in a major FBI bust. Drita D’avanzo had more concerns about her husband’s sentence, and Karen Gravano began coming to terms with and exploring her feelings about her upbringing. Carla Faccilo was, as Nene Leakes likes to say: “Casper the Ghost” this episode because, yeah she was practically invisible. What an emotional episode this was – highs and lows galore, a total emotional roller coaster. As my mother said: “I feel like I need an anti-depressant after watching these broads.” Snark obviously runs in our family.

There was a lot of build up in the first part of the show until we finally got to the part all the previews were throwing in our faces: the FBI arrests! I waited on the edge of my seat for the juicy part and, yeah… it was pretty much a let down. The most we got to see of any FBI action was Renee crying in her kitchen about the arrests and the ladies showing CNN news footage. Foiled again by the infamous preview hype! It was nice that there was a significantly fewer number of bleeps so we could actually understand what they were saying to each other, though.

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On episode two of Mob Wives, which aired last night, it was all about loyalty and betrayal. Renee Graziano feels betrayed by her friends, she also feels betrayed by her ex-husband Junior – who barely has any involvement in their son AJ’s life. Carla Facciolo and Drita D’avanzo feel betrayed by their husbands for going to prison and leaving them to fend for themselves and raise their children while waiting for them to come home. And Karen Gravano feels betrayed by all the friends who ditched her when her dad ratted out all of their husbands and fathers to feds so he could go hang out poolside in AZ even though he killed 22+ people. So you know, that makes perfect sense!

So here’s what happened: “Bleep, bleepety, bleep, bleep, bl-ble-bleeep, bleep! Yeah?! Well, bleep, bleepin, bleepety bleep, ble – bleeeeeeeeep you!” Oh you couldn’t figure out what happened either? Yeah – this show needs to be on HBO or something – I can barely understand what’s being said because they have to bleep out every other word! My husband said I should start a “bleep tally” for each episode, but too much counting! Anyways, deciphering through the bleeps, this is what went on. Things picked up where they left off with Renee and Karen squabbling at Carla’s birthday party over who owns Staten Island – the state of NY or Renee? Renee seems to think it might be her, but you know – technicalities! Then her and Drita get into it when Drita tries to make peace with Renee, but ends up almost becoming The Hulk and punching her in the face and Carla had to intervene by grabbing Renee’s neck. Drita sums it up by saying: “If I hit you an ambulance is gonna come.” What a super classy party! So sad I missed it.

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