I hoped to never speak of Princesses: Long Island again – le sigh – but the cast cannot let it go. Believe it or not, they're still holding out hope for a second season, begging for support on Twitter, and teasing good stuff to come in interviews. Oy vey. Who else thinks Bravo and Andy Cohen blocked them on Twitter a long time ago?
I can see Chanel Coco Omari sitting in her little girl bedroom. Drawing hearts in her diary. Waiting for Bravo to call her.
About season two, Chaneltold Wetpaint, "We aren't sure yet, but hopefully by February or March." She added that everyone from season one would return. "There are a lot of interesting twists and turns within our group and friendships that would make for an intriguing next season, so hopefully you'll all stay tuned in to see what happens."
So, if you guys need me, I'll be over here. Staying tuned. Waiting for something intriguing to happen. Until I die of old age.
Meanwhile, the sharks ate the Hollywood Exes alive, as only 667,000 viewers bothered to tune in. Hollywood Exes has two problems in my opinion. One – too much competition on Sunday. The show should move back to Wednesday. Two – viewers are over the Andrea Kelly and Jessica Canseco drama.
Finally, Princesses: Long Island finished their first (hopefully last) season on a higher note, with 899,000 viewers. Even the sharks swam away from this hot mess in search of something less irritating. Princesses Long Island's season average was 889,300.
Last week's episode of Princesses: Long Island ended with Ashlee Whitepoofing into thin air. I don't know about you guys but I've barely been able to sleep, eat, or care for my children. Worry consumes me! What if bad people kidnap Ashlee and force her to eat mixed cheese? What if she breaks a heel? What if Ashlee's parents hightail it outta Long Island before she's found? Who will care for little orphan Ashlee?
Thankfully, Chanel Omari is on the case, looking high and low for Ashlee. Mostly low. Winery employees can barely contain their smirks. I have a feeling they couldn't care less about Long Island's precious little snowflake. They're clearly bad people. Meanwhile, Chanel sobs, "All I can think about is, what's happening to her right now?" I know. I know! Cheeses, heels, orphans, it's all too much to process at once. Chanel adds, "I can't think about losing Ashlee forever." It's like she can read my mind!
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So, I'm not sure if you're aware, but the big gossip surrounding Princesses: Long Island is Joey Lauren's "persecution" of Ashlee White. HAHA. Ashlee is delusional – with a capital D – and her take on her ongoing feud with Joey is hilarious. Did you know Joey went after Ashlee at Amanda Bertoncini's white party? For no reason, Joey angrily screamed at Ashlee, "Nobody's on your side!" Is this bish for real? Her little recap leaves out the part where she tells Joey that none of "her" friends like her just to hurt her feelings.
"Love your enemies," advises the little wise one troll. "Just in case your friends turn out to be schmucks."
Am I sleeping? Is this a nightmare? I need a break from Ashlee – who's next? Ah, obnoxious Amanda and her speech challenged sister Taylor, of course. Bravo clearly has a mean spirited sense of humor. Amanda and Taylor are shopping. And talking. Amanda asks, "Want some Froooyooo?" and Taylor responds, "Froyo makes you lose weight, right?" Sure, it also boosts brain power, so eat up!