"I dedicate this book to all the men I've loved before and to all the single people looking for love in this world: keep hope alive, learn from my mistakes, and by all means #KeepItSexy," Brandi begins after telling us P.S. "Social media is ruining romance". Yes, Brandi and so are drunken tabloid photos.
With an introduction titled "How To Get Screwed" (the first line of which is "F–k me."), you know you're in for a wild ride! Brandi gives a ton of anecdotes and continues with her theme of interweaving hashtags throughout the text as if twitter truly is writing this book.
A snippet of the introduction and the first chapter are below!
Carlton Gebbia continues to intrigue me. I mean, she's the wicked witch of double standards. She's disgusted by her Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast mates talking about sex and then lap dances on her MIL, does stripper pole lessons, and throws a Hustler party.
She doesn't want Kyle Richards asking about her religion, yet she talks about it all the time and puts spells on people. And she doesn't like Joyce Giraud for being fake and attention-seeking yet Carlton is allll about Brandi Glanville!
In her most recent Bravo blogCarlton reflects on the episode and explains why Kyle is fake, Joyce is annoying, and she is the greatest living human in the world.
What can I say about Brandi Glanville that hasn't already been said? She over shares? Yup. She has no filter? Duh. She has no problem throwing people under the bus? Check. Really nothing that comes out of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' star's mouth shocks me anymore.
If you watch RHOBH, you know Brandi makes no secret about her financial situation. Even with her best-sellers, her bank account isn't even in the same stratosphere as her co-stars. I'm a flip-flopping Brandi fan, but I do like how candid she is about her struggles with money. She may not have the most, but she works hard for what she has…unlike when she was married to Eddie Cibrian.
The Sister Wives are totally winning. They're able to run their fingers through Kody's luscious locks every four days – AND a whopping 2.415 million tuned in this week. That's nearly a millionmore viewers than last week! Kris Jenner becomes wife number five in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…
Whenever there's a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills situation, there's a zillion versions of the same story. For people who live most of their lives ON CAMERA one might hope for more accurate records of what happened!
"Regarding the Yolanda painting party, it was a bit of a fiasco. Yes, she was right when she said I didn't tell her. I told the people that sent invitations for Yolanda. A car wasn't sent for me," Lisa writes in her Bravo blog. "They were well aware that I had a meeting at city hall in order to obtain permits for my new venture."
"That is my reality, having to work all hours that God sends right now with little time, except at weekends to indulge in afternoon parties. I am trying to arrange my life so I soon will have the time to be a little more indulgent."
Brandi begins, "I broke my hand on a Thursday. I had my friend who is a MMA fighter and boxer wrap it for me and was happy to go to Carlton's party on Sunday. I did not go to the doctor for a few reasons. First, I barely had any time to — and second I didn't have medical insurance at the time. I had been trying for the last year to get medical coverage, but had been turned down because of a pre-existing condition. I have two little boys to take care of and I didn't want to waste my money on myself and have yet another reason to be turned down for insurance," adding, "I now have medical insurance, and, yes, my hand did heal a little deformed. My best friend drove up from San Diego, thank goodness, because with my right hand broken I couldn't really do my hair or makeup, and so I got a helping hand from my girls."
Last night Yolanda appeared on WWHL live to discuss Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and naturally she was questioned regarding her often hypocritical attitude about Brandi and the true nature of their rather odd friendship. Friendship, it turns out, is a term should be used loosely to describe where they stand!
When asked about her attitude towards Brandi's drinking Yolanda admitted, "I can't stand it! I hate it – and I tell her all the time, but like I say, 'I'm not her mother.' I don't support it."
When Andy asked if Brandi and Yolanda are still close, she shrugged. "We're close when we're shooting when we see each other everyday. Yeah… we see each other," she said noncommittally. Yikes!
Things begin at Carlton's house, which looks like it sits in an abandoned lot outside the airport. There's no landscaping which sucks if you're inviting a zillion people to a daytime pool party in JULY. I know why Carlton's skin looks like a dehydrated orange peel!
The whole theme of this party is "Americana" except… all the decorations came from Hustler and Carlton wore a sequined bikini from a 1992 Victoria's Secret catalog. And there were no shade tents – we Americans really like covered pavilions. Carlton ships her kids away to their grandmother's and warns them she may embarrass them, which is the understatement of Carlton's appearance on this show. Everything she does is embarrassing!